I almost forgot how petty online forums are..

FrannyNJay

Thanks for the reminder.  I guess I should go elsewhere for adult opinions.  Have a fantastic day "ladies".

msuprincess04

You are going to get a lot of opinions you probably aren't expecting. Just forewarning.

1. It's not her responsibility to help with your DIY wedding. You chose to do that kind of event, and you and your FI are the ones responsible for all the projects. Though your MOH may offer to help, and it would be a bummer for her to back out, it's still not her responsibility.  Parties are gifts, not requirements. Anyone can throw them, or no one might.

2. She's not stealing your thunder. On your wedding day, you will still be the only bride there. You get one day, not months leading up to it.

3. MOH is not tit for tat. While I'm sure you'd appreciate that she'd do everything you did for you. she doesn't have to. Did you really do all that stuff because you expected something in return?

4.  You are being a little selfish, but I see it mostly as misguided. Come here, poke around the forums, you'll learn a lot. OH, and congratulate your friend on getting married.

5. Asking someone to stop down is the same as kicking someone out and ending a friendship. It comes off as incredibly rude. She doesn't owe you anything but to buy the correct dress (within her budget) and show up.

Good luck!

renegade gaucho

It isn't your MOHs job to do any projects for your wedding or to plan and throw parties for you.  She might offer to do all of those things, and if so, that's wonderful and you should be very grateful.

Unless she's actually told you that her change in plans means she will no longer be able to give you assistance that she previously offered, don't worry about it.  If it turns out that planning her own wedding is not going to leave her with enough time to help you with yours, then you need to either do everything yourself, hire a wedding planner, scale down the number of DIY projects (there is a lot associated with weddings that is completely unnecessary), or (my personal favorite) ask your fiance to take a more active role in making this wedding happen.

From what you've written about her, it actually sounds like this is pretty typical of her and you don't like her very much, which makes me wonder why you asked her to be your MOH.  In any case, the responsibility for planning and accomplishing wedding-related tasks rests on the two people getting married.

Blue_Bird

My thoughts are that this is MUD.Valiant effort though.

Peledreamsofrain

I like my MUD with a dash of creativity, and a side of less-obvious.  FYI.

FrannyNJay

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_moh-planning-a-wedding-a-month-before-me?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:729c9113-a640-40b8-b9f1-7e4e839dc8ccPost:cf113379-9696-43d1-8c99-c396754e2591">Re: MOH planning a wedding a month before me.</a>:
[QUOTE]I like my MUD with a dash of creativity, and a side of less-obvious.  FYI.
Posted by Peledreamsofrain[/QUOTE]

I'm going to assume you guys think this MUD person is me..and all I have to say about The Knots online forum is you guys are nuts. I was trying to get some honest opinions.  I got them but I am most certainly not pretending to be someone I'm not.  You gals are seriously effed.

FrannyNJay

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_moh-planning-a-wedding-a-month-before-me?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:729c9113-a640-40b8-b9f1-7e4e839dc8ccPost:55e7a05f-3e33-4cbd-8124-c6f2e429d818">Re: MOH planning a wedding a month before me.</a>:
[QUOTE]My thoughts are that this is MUD.Valiant effort though. ;)
Posted by Blue_Bird[/QUOTE]

I'm going to assume you guys think this MUD person is me..and all I have to say about The Knots online forum is you guys are nuts. I was trying to get some honest opinions. I got them but I am most certainly not pretending to be someone I'm not. You gals are seriously effed.

winelover123

Here's what you do in this situation:

Tell her congrats and work on your own DIY projects. If she helps, great, if not, oh well. Your other BMs can throw parties for you if they choose. No one is stealing your thunder.

peekaboo2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_moh-planning-a-wedding-a-month-before-me?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:729c9113-a640-40b8-b9f1-7e4e839dc8ccPost:00456ae2-6e0c-4061-bb98-6db877b8cf51">Re: MOH planning a wedding a month before me.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: MOH planning a wedding a month before me. : I'm going to assume you guys think this MUD person is me..and all I have to say about The Knots online forum is you guys are nuts. I was trying to get some honest opinions. I got them but I am most certainly not pretending to be someone I'm not. You gals are seriously effed.
Posted by FrannyNJay[/QUOTE]

<div>LOL.</div><div>
</div><div>MUD=Made Up Drama.</div>

[Deleted User]

This is actually rather disappointing. I came to this thread expecting a lot of drama which might be a welcome break from my inability to focus at work, and no one was even that petty. *sigh*

Peledreamsofrain

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_moh-planning-a-wedding-a-month-before-me?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:729c9113-a640-40b8-b9f1-7e4e839dc8ccPost:9b953d4d-c873-4d44-b844-7923109c0026">Re: I almost forgot how petty online forums are..</a>:
[QUOTE]This is actually rather disappointing. I came to this thread expecting a lot of drama which might be a welcome break from my inability to focus at work, and no one was even that petty. *sigh*
Posted by vonclancy[/QUOTE]


No, it was a snorefest for Made Up Drama.  She just went down a really sterile list of the usual 'treat your BMs like crud' stuff.  She even used the phrase 'steal my thunder'.  It was kind of like reading one of those made up magazines in the checkout line when there's like 4 people in front of you.  Boring more than anything else.

misshart00

I don't understand the DD. No one was mean to you. You should plan your wedding since its yours. You were quoted so deleting did no good. We can still see what you wrote. Also, I find it really funny that you want 'adult' opinions but you're the one whining about how your MOH won't do anything for you. It's not her job. As an adult, you should probably know that.

Knottie_22382733

I just ignore the comments and opinions I don't like, it's a waste of my time complaining and bickering.

AddieCake

I love how y'all giving your advice makes you no longer ladies in her eyes. Snort.

SlothGoals

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_moh-planning-a-wedding-a-month-before-me?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:729c9113-a640-40b8-b9f1-7e4e839dc8ccPost:1e199eb5-7f56-4fc7-8fb7-1625a028e18e">Re: I almost forgot how petty online forums are..</a>:
[QUOTE]I just ignore the comments and opinions I don't like, it's a waste of my time complaining and bickering.
Posted by lacelover[/QUOTE]

<div>Then why ask for opinions in the first place? If you're going to ignore them then just do what you want and don't complain when you have less friends later.</div>

JoanE2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_moh-planning-a-wedding-a-month-before-me?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:729c9113-a640-40b8-b9f1-7e4e839dc8ccPost:34f9fbe4-3ab4-4a66-ab21-263201e8c5e9">I almost forgot how petty online forums are..</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks for the reminder.  I guess I should go elsewhere for adult opinions.  Have a fantastic day "ladies".
Posted by FrannyNJay[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Thanks to an earlier poster for quoting your original post.  It made YOU sound like a child.  Remember, no one cares about your wedding as much as you (and your FI) do.  Get over yourself.</div><div>
</div>

hgminor

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_moh-planning-a-wedding-a-month-before-me?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:729c9113-a640-40b8-b9f1-7e4e839dc8ccPost:1e199eb5-7f56-4fc7-8fb7-1625a028e18e">Re: I almost forgot how petty online forums are..</a>:
[QUOTE]I just ignore the comments and opinions I don't like, it's a waste of my time complaining and bickering.
Posted by lacelover[/QUOTE]



I can't tell if this is sarcasm- if it is, hehe, if not...

That's a good plan. It's better to waste the time of others who took time to read your concerns and actually respond with helpful ideas. Why post if you already know what you want and don't want to hear?

Knottie_22382733

Sorry, my sarcasm was lost.