How to uninvite a bridesmaid

kfexc9

I need a little advise. When deciding my wedding party, it was a no brainer. My two sisters, my FI's sister, two cousins, a great lif long friend and a great work friend. I had another friend I really wanted in the wedding but just couldn't have another person. So a month later two bridesmaids come to me to back out because they are pregnant. I ask another friend to be in it. She knew the situation, but still said yes. Now , its 4 months away and I have had a hard time communicating with her. She has complained several times about the amount of dresses (120) and the shoes (20). She also said that the bridal shower was going to be too expensive. Is it wrong of me to approach herand giver her an out and ask another, and possibly closer friend? I feel really bad, but I don't want to worry about her financials when it comes down to the day of preparations, and the showers. She also hasn't had a whole lot of time to help pick things out, address envelopes, or even have a quick cup of coffee....Anyone have the similar issues? Any advice is appreciated.-Kirsten

tinkgrrrbell

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_uninvite-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:72b0f28a-fa4a-4110-b8dc-ad5bb7ecd159Post:51e4732f-0d49-4345-8804-8b739557811c">Re: How to uninvite a bridesmaid</a>:
[QUOTE]Pinkrn19's advice is WRONG!  Just because you agree to be a BM you do not agree to go into debt.  The only thing that BMs are required to purchase is the dress and you, as the bride, should stay within their budgets.  If you require them to have specific jewelry or shoes or hair or makeup then that is on you to pay for, not them. Also, you shouldn't be giving any money to a shower that is being planned in your honor...in fact you shouldn't have any say in your shower except for the guest list.  As for having them helping you do your invites...as you said "they were happy to come - for the most part "...that means that some of them weren't happy to address YOUR wedding invites...that is you and your FI responsibility...please don't make your BMs do this, it isn't their wedding it is yours.
Posted by Maggie0829[/QUOTE]

Are you people absolutely NUTS?  Being bridesMAID does noy simply mean buying a dress and smiling pretty in pictures.  Bridesmaids would never have been invented if their sole purpose was to be eye candy, which is completely useless.  Google it, sweetheart.  A bride's MAID is someone trusted with HELPING with wedding duties and responsibilities, because the bride CAN'T do it all themselves.  Sounds like people like you need to get over themSELVES and realize a wedding is a day to honor the couple, and bridesmaids accept duties EVERYONE knows about (no one is holding a gun to your head and forcing you to accept this position), including helping address invites, etc. 

EVERYONE KNOWS THIS.  EVEN THE KNOT HAS A SITE DETAILING BRIDESMAID RESPONBSIBILITIES.

You're all nuts.