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kelseynorvell

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[Deleted User]

I would leave titles as is. Can you do co-maid of honors so you can have your orginal MOH but with having a co-MOH it takes some pressure off the original MOH?

Something that might be nice is do you have any niece or friends who have kids that are of babysitting age? If so see if your MOH would be interested in having a Mommy's helper for the day? Then her FI can take care of older child and she can keep baby close but have helper keep eye on baby & help her out with feedings since she'll be pumping. This might allow her to enjoy a little more.

erinlin25

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_unique-maid-of-honormatron-of-honor-dilemma-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:731dc48f-43c5-454f-b426-394e7230e7e0Post:ca5b15b4-f18e-4619-9428-1d003f976361">Unique Maid of Honor/Matron of Honor dilemma</a>:
[QUOTE]I really appreciate any insight that can be given to me regarding this situation.. My maid of honor and I have been friends forever. When I asked her to be my maid of honor, she was engaged to be married and a mother of 1. Since I asked her to be my maid of honor, she has become pregnant with another child. The 2nd baby is due 2 months before my wedding. The couple will be traveling with both children across county for the wedding. That being said<strong>, I know that she isn't going to have time to assist me the way that I'm going to need to be assisted </strong>(since they will be away from their babysitter and family, and also since she will be having to pump every 2 hours).  I have another very close friend who I debated on whether to originally make her the MOH or not. She has been assisting me very much with the wedding, and will continue to do so during the wedding.  Could I make the original maid of honor a matron of honor instead? I know that the matron is supposed to be married, but I thought that the latin meaning of matron had something to do with having children. My thought is to make her the matron of honor since she's engaged and has 2 children, and then to make my other best friend the maid of honor since she has plenty of time and is able to be more active within the wedding. I really appreciate any thoughts you may have regarding this situation! Thank you so very much!
Posted by kelseynorvell[/QUOTE]

So I didn't vote b/c there is no "yes or no" to your question really.  First off, what "assistance" will you need!?  There isn't anything the MOH needs to do for you specifically--bridemaids, MOH's, etc are not your personal assistants. They can of course help you <em>if they desire,</em> and most most likely will help, but definitely not a requirement.  The MOH isn't the person who helps you the most with your wedding, its just a title at the end of the day--they are just as special as the next bridemaid when it comes down to it really.  But to somewhat answer your question, you can have 2 MOH's, so you could have a "matron" and a "maid" but do not make someone your Maid Of Honor just because you want them to do things for you!  Your bridesmaid can just as equally "help" you as much as the MOH--again, if they choose to help.  Defnitely don't "downgrade" someone, and if you already asked a person to be your bridesmaid, I personally would not now "promote" her to MOH--especially since it sounds like you would just being doing so you have an assistant at your fingertips--not an honor!  So in retrspect, yes you can have a matron of honor, but no i would not add a maid of honor since you already asked someone to be your maid of honor.  IMO

AddieCake

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_unique-maid-of-honormatron-of-honor-dilemma-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:731dc48f-43c5-454f-b426-394e7230e7e0Post:df645e23-4adb-4575-8705-dde5589cc4a9">Re: Unique Maid of Honor/Matron of Honor dilemma</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Unique Maid of Honor/Matron of Honor dilemma : Your maid/matron of honor's job is to show up in the chosen dress on your wedding day, hold your bouquet while you say your vows and exchange rings, and maybe sign as a witness to your marriage.  That's it. What kind of assistance are you talking about?  It's your wedding - you plan it! You have already asked her to be your maid of honor.  You can't demote her or replace her.  This would be very rude, and a friendship ending move. No, the word "matron" means married, and has nothing to do with children.
Posted by CMGr[/QUOTE]

<div>This. </div>

AddieCake

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_unique-maid-of-honormatron-of-honor-dilemma-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:731dc48f-43c5-454f-b426-394e7230e7e0Post:5e8495c1-e47d-4fee-b509-5196e066dab2">Re: Unique Maid of Honor/Matron of Honor dilemma</a>:
[QUOTE]What I meant by "assist" is the things that I've read as far as "MOH duties".. Such as planning the bridal shower/bachelorette party, helping to do invites, coordinate the other bridesmaids..
Posted by kelseynorvell[/QUOTE]

<div>Your MOH is not required to do any of those things. </div>

misssunshine17

Listen to CMGr. Being a MOH has nothing to do with what they can do for you. This post makes you sound like you're ust in it for their service to you. 

RMcDougle

Matron of honor and maid of honor are the exact same thing. The title just changes if the womans married or not.  So changing her title to matron doesn't free you up to designated a new maid of honor. I might ask her what she would prefer to be referred to as, since to me matron usually means married (with or without kids).

Ditto PPs. The MOH has no duties, it just an honored title you give to this special person in your life. In fact, NO ONE is required to host any sort of pre-wedding parties for you, but ANYONE can do it. An aunt, sister, bridesmaid, friend MOH, anyone.. if they feel moved to, not out of obligation.