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Jr bridesmaid dilemma

 Hello everyone, I have a little dilemma that I need help with. I come from a family of 12, with 7 brothers and 2 sisters. One of my sisters is 19 and will be in the bridal party, the other will be 13 at the time of the wedding. I have 4 bridesmaids, my fiance has 4 groomsmen. I would like my 13 yr old sister to be a part of the wedding party as well, but we can't add another groomsman and I don't want her walking down the aisle alone (or with any of the 25+ yr old groomsmen for that matter...there's also the issue of who she will dance with). Since I only have the 2 sisters, it's not really an option to leave her out or to give her a cop-out job... I want her to feel included in the wedding party but not be in an awkward situation. Thoughts?

Re: Jr bridesmaid dilemma

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    tidetraveltidetravel member
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    edited June 2010
    Wedding parties are about people, not symmetry.  Honor your sister by asking her to be a BM.  You do not need to add another GM.

    Isle = island.  Aisle is the word you're looking for.

    ETA:  your sister can walk with a 25 year old GM.  It's a 10 second walk - you're not asking them to do the humpty hump down the aisle.

    If your WP is uneven, you can have all of the guys stand up at the front and have the BMs walk in on their own.  When they do the recessional, they can weave out - boy, girl, boy, girl or 1 GM can walk with 2 ladies.
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    Ditto PP
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    edited June 2010
    <div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;line-height:normal;">In Response to <a style="text-decoration:none;font-weight:normal;color:#1f1f1f;" href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_jr-bridesmaid-dilemma?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:77358fcd-890f-4353-9c49-2fa5d76677e1Post:dac2bc1b-520d-4401-adfd-bfd03a20e64c">Jr bridesmaid dilemma</a>:
    [QUOTE] Hello everyone, I have a little dilemma that I need help with. I come from a family of 12, with 7 brothers and 2 sisters. One of my sisters is 19 and will be in the bridal party, the other will be 13 at the time of the wedding. I have 4 bridesmaids, my fiance has 4 groomsmen. I would like my 13 yr old sister to be a part of the wedding party as well, but we can't add another groomsman and I don't want her walking down the aisle alone (or with any of the 25+ yr old groomsmen for that matter...there's also the issue of who she will dance with). Since I only have the 2 sisters, it's not really an option to leave her out or to give her a cop-out job... I want her to feel included in the wedding party but not be in an awkward situation. Thoughts?
    Posted by mandylovesandy[/QUOTE]
    </div></div><div>
    </div>Ditto Tide.<div>
    </div><div>I will add: please do not do a wedding party dance.  No one likes them.  The wedding party members don't like it and the guests don't like sitting through it.  They are also very dated.  No one will be happy if you do a wedding party dance.</div><div>
    </div><div>She can walk with a 25 year old guy.  The walk doesn't mean anything, it's just a means to leave the reception site.  Also, jr. bm do the exact same things as bm, you might as well leave off the "jr."</div>
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    You should include her as a bridesmaid. Your sides do not need to be even, and she will be hurt if she is left out. She can walk with one of the groomsmen, or just have everyone alternate boy,girl,boy,girl as they recess down the AISLE.

    Also, don't do a wedding party dance, they are awkward and boring for guests.
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    my sister will be 11 for our wedding, my neice will be 15, both are bridesmaids. our sides arent even at all. he has 3 guys, i have 4 girls + 1 guy on my side. my 15 year old neice will be walking with my 28 yr old bridesman. and my sister will be walking alone, right before the flower girls, i think she will feel special walking alone, symmetry is not a big deal. other posters have mentioned great ideas for walking down with uneven sides.

    i am having 2 train carriers in my wedding, your sister can do that (if you have a train) and still be a bridesmaid.

    ditto the dance being awkward, btw.
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    Talk to your sister about it and ask her what she feels comfortable doing.  I personally am not a fan of the Jr Bridesmaid title anyway (they do exactly what the other BM do on your wedding day!), but a 13 year old girl might feel like this is a baby title.  My youngest sister was in my wedding as a BM and was 12 at the time.  I think she would have been very offended to be called a Jr. BM,
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    My sides are quite uneven.  WE have 6 bridesmaids, and 3 groomsman, 2 ring bearers and 2 fg, plus a jr bm.  The bridesmaids will all walk down themselves and the recessional will be 1 guy w/ 2 girls.  The jr bm will walk alone (either w/ or before, however she wants) the ringbearer and flower girls.  If I had wanted symmetry, I would have had to left out alot of people and I really didn't want to do that.  I won't be doing a bridal dance and won't even be having a head table.  I have had to do both in the last few weddings I was in, and hated it.  I don't want my WP to feel uncomfortable and I don't want them to be away from their spouses or SO.  All I want from them is that they stand next to me as we take our vows!
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    You're overthinking all of this.

    WPs are NOT about symmetry.  What is the problem if you have one more BM than he has GM?  Answer:  nothing.  You'll still be just as married with an asymmetrical WP as you will with matchy-matchy.

    As for walking out of the ceremony:  again,you're overthinking.  EVERYONE at your ceremony realizes that it's a 20 second walk up the aisle.  NO ONE is thinking "wow, that 25 year old guy is hooking up with a 13.  How shockingly inappropriate"!  It's nothing more than how they get out of the church; not a prelude to a sexual liaison.

    And re:  the WP dance?  Just skip that bad boy altogether.  It's completely and totally unneccessary.  Your WP won't want to dance with random acquaintances (which is what they probably are at best.  At most weddings, they're strangers).

    Your guests won't want to stand and suffer through watching strangers dance with each other, either.

    Unless you can tell my WHY a WP dance should happen and how it helps you, your reception, your guests, OR your WP, it's clear that it won't be missed.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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    It's only going to be awkward if YOU make it awkward for her ... by labeling her as a "junior bridesmaid" when she's doing the exact same thing as the other bridesmaids, by making a big deal of her being escorted by an adult groomsman (which it's not - it's a 30-second walk, not a date), by making them all do a lame bridal party dance, or by excluding her all together because you want even sides.

    So, your sister's age is not a problem here. It only appears to be that way to you because you have chosen to see it as a problem. Drop all these pre-conceived notions of things you "have" to do and forget the lameness of keeping things perfectly even at all times, and you will not have any issues.
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    I have 5 bridesmaids, and my fiance has 4 groomsmen. We're just having one of the groomsmen escort two ladies at once. I don't see how this is such a big dilema.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_jr-bridesmaid-dilemma?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:77358fcd-890f-4353-9c49-2fa5d76677e1Post:e00baceb-2df5-416e-a116-b4428b4bc9e6">Re: Jr bridesmaid dilemma</a>:
    [QUOTE]my sister will be 11 for our wedding, my neice will be 15, both are bridesmaids. our sides arent even at all. he has 3 guys, i have 4 girls + 1 guy on my side. my 15 year old neice will be walking with my 28 yr old bridesman. and my sister will be walking alone, right before the flower girls, i think she will feel special walking alone, symmetry is not a big deal. other posters have mentioned great ideas for walking down with uneven sides. i am having 2 train carriers in my wedding, your sister can do that (if you have a train) and still be a bridesmaid. ditto the dance being awkward, btw.
    Posted by HisCB[/QUOTE]

    By far the best advice I got, thankyou!
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    Your baby sister should NOT be left out!!! She's not a kid, and even if she was, she'll definitely be resent being the only one left out. Include her. Forget about numbers!!!
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