**stage** and others

stina93446

It was very sweet of you to "stick up for me" this week. I don't know if it makes it sound like I am a weakling or if I just thought it was nice that someone thought about what I said and not my plate price. It seemed that no matter where or what i said, it was used against me when I brought it up to help. Thanks for seeing that. 

And thanks to everyone else who did this too.

jagore08

I must have missed something.  I don't know what this is about but the girls on here definitely have your back.

stina93446

It was on budget board. It was that whole mess with penad not wanting to pay for all her guests to eat. So I mentioned that my mom didn't want to pay for some of her friends at our wedding, so they weren't invited. I mentioned how much it was per plate and then I was called a "princess" and was assumed to be ridiculous because $75 is too much pp. 

They failed to understand that that price included food, rentals, open bar, cake, etc. And that the whole reason I told the price was because it showed that if you can't afford to invite everyone to your reception, you need to scale back like we did.

megk8oz

Stina, I stayed away from the asshattery of that thread,  so I didn't know until Stage made the new thread that anything happened. But had I known you'd gotten attacked, I would have totally thrown down for you.

stina93446

haha, thanks Meg. I know that everyone here has my back. I actually didn't KNOW that someone was attacking me really until Stage pointed it out. 

megk8oz

Hey, WP needs to "stick together", lol. I totally went off on a girl once for implying that Aerin wasn't a "true budget bride". You guys are my friends!

FWIW, I paid a (very inclusive) $100 pp ... so I probably would have been torn down by those same dumb b!tches anyway, lol. But like you, we couldn't go over budget, so we sure as hell wouldn't have paid that per head if we weren't getting so much for it.

stina93446

Exactly, Stage was defending that no matter your budget, you're still a budget bride if you're trying to make as much happen for your budget. We made our budget work for 190 people. So we weren't spending a ton on a COUPLE of people.....

gottahavashorti

The budget board seems to turn that way pretty regularly, unfortunately.  Although I do look at where people are from and those that can't believe it's so expensive are generally not from a very HCOL area like NY, NJ, Philly or CA.  Vendor prices, catering and rental fees really do vary a ton by geographic region and result in the need to plan carefully, and a lot of people just don't get that.

megk8oz

I get annoyed with the Budget Board sometimes. Usually, it's pretty cool, but then you get that one girl who's like "My budget's only $0.50 for everything, you guys don't know anything about 'budgeting'!"

LarissaAnn

Wow, sorry I wasn't there.

You're a princess?  Meanwhile I wanna know where the hell you found $75/person for all-inclusive in this area!  Best we could do was $92 pre-tax/tip (including ceremony).

bablingbrooke

Careful...next thing you know they'll be posting their sob stories on vendor sites and soliciting votes on every board.

bablingbrooke

I rarely leave WP.  I'm TK's equivalent of a hermit.

LarissaAnn

I vote hag.  Just 'cause I like that word better than one created by a really godawful TV show.

bablingbrooke

Re: Polls: Anyone else totally annoyed with the new poll feature?  

LarissaAnn

I kinda like it.  But I'm a big geek.

bablingbrooke

I dislike the way a lot of girls use it.  Some will include several choices that all mean the same thing so that it's impossible to disagree with her.  And then get mad that people comment instead.  

LarissaAnn

You know what I really want, though?  A "red pen" feature.  I want to be able to take people's posts and correct them in red and hand them back.

Of course, I also often want to do that to documents I get from other attorneys.  It's a problem.

LarissaAnn

OK, I was assuming (and I shouldn't have) that we were talking about well-drafted polls.  Granted, if every response is the same, or if the response you want to give is missing, it's pretty unhelpful.

bablingbrooke

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_stage-others?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:7c8197e9-957c-4fe3-a38e-c846ac4d6a19Post:404e7b23-1bb0-425a-aaf9-855695611223">Re: **stage** and others</a>:
[QUOTE]You know what I really  want, though?  A "red pen" feature.  I want to be able to take people's posts and correct them in red and hand them back.
Posted by LarissaAnn[/QUOTE]

<div>ME TOO!!!!  Especially every post that goes "Ok so my BM is like totally bad lol..."  I want to ban LOL from the boards, especially if it's totally inappropriate in context, i.e. "You guys are such b!tches lol!" I hope that they think writing that way makes them seem cute and endearing, and not because they don't know any better, but that might be wishful thinking on my part.</div>

LarissaAnn

Ugh, you made me go look!  See, a poll like that and I just close the thread again.  I can't be bothered.

megk8oz

Polls: dislike.

Some of them aren't so bad ... but most of them are either asking something stupid in the first place-"How many hours before the ceremony should I get my hair done?", or they don't give you a "real" answer option-Like the girl who's FI didn't want black in the decor, so the only 2 answer options where "Have black, because it's MY day and the groom can suck it" or "Give up black entirely and be incredibly upset just to make him happy" ...

Although, I will admit, lately, if it's a question where I really just think the OP's being a brat, I've been starting to stay the hell out of it. I know that's not really putting my advice skills to good use ... but I'm really starting to sink into the mentality of "Well, frankly, I could care less if your family hates you post-wedding" ... is that wrong?

banana468

Stina I totally missed that!

I forget who it was (however I think I remember) when I had a recent discussion over budget and she retorted with, "Says the person whose parents paid for her wedding."

I wanted to smack her.

gottahavashorti

I like the polls for some things, but the ones being described here I can't stand.

Stage, I'm going to vote for bitter old hag.  You can't be a bridezilla if you're already married and should have moved on to the nest age ago!  Obviously married women contribute nothing to the knot, it really would be best if all of us who are engaged plan our weddings blindy without the help of those who have been there.  Hrmph.

gottahavashorti

[QUOTE]Stina I totally missed that! I forget who it was (however I think I remember) when I had a recent discussion over budget and she retorted with, "Says the person whose parents paid for her wedding." I wanted to smack her.
Posted by banana468[/QUOTE]
I really don't understand that argument.  "We're paying for all of this ourselves so we have a low budget" gets thrown around a lot there.  I don't understand how parents paying means "high budget" or bride and groom paying means "low budget."  There are plenty of low budget parent-hosted weddings and high budget bride and groom-hosted weddings.

megk8oz

I don't get the people that jump on Banana or the other girls that had parent-paid weddings either.  I mean, maybe it's because I know that if my parents could have paid or at least help pay, they would have and not batted an eye ... but idk, parents paying is like anything else in life: it happens for some people, it doesn't for others, life goes on.

Seriously, the only person I ever be-grudged parental assistance on was my BSC friend ... and it wasn't even that I was mad her parents paid. I was mad because she kept saying "Oh, I know how to plan something affordable, you just come to me when you plan, I can totally help you" and kept trying to "teach" me about budgeting. Well, yes, her wedding was very affordable to her because the only thing she actually paid for was the BP gifts. She had no idea how much her parents actually spent, but aside from the BP gifts, they wrote every last check from the security deposit at the venue, to the final payment for the HM.

Meanwhile, she's lecturing me about all of her hard work and "sacrifices" she had to make to pull off her perfect wedding. I'm not sure what made me want to smack her more: her matyr talk or her bridezilla nature.

megk8oz

Oh, and Stage, you're totally a bitter old hag. And I feel sorry for your DH!!!!!!

Clearly, I need to start printing more T-shirts

banana468

Meg, that I agree with.

DH and I did pay for some of it - but we were lucky.  That said, all parties were on board that we wouldn't shirk etiquette ever.  And doing anything yourself isn't a license to break standing rules.

megk8oz

I will admit I didn't do everything "right" (I did B-list ... I know that the excuse of "But in my circle people don't mind" is a lame excuse, but in my family it really is an understood thing) ... but for the most part, even on our limited funds, we kept things as polite as possible.

Personally, I would have rather hosted 100 people the way I did (With full open bar, great food and entertainment) than host 200 people and have it blatantly appear that we cut corners (Cash bar and an iPod). I'm not trying to sound "Holier than Thou" (You guys know me better than that by now, lol), I just really wanted my guests to enjoy the wedding and "talk for weeks" in a good way.

megk8oz

I never really advertise that I did B-list, because I know that it's one of those things that people that think it's rude will just attack me for it, and people that don't think it's rude will go do it, whether or not it offends somebody. Trust me, if it was something that would have stepped on toes, I wouldn't have even dreamed of it. I'm "classy" like that, lol.

And I'm also thinking about holing up here permanently as well ... I'm not sure if it's just all the V-day proposal newbs coming out to play, but it really feels like there's been an explosion of "beebee-ness" in the past couple of weeks.

trix1223

Wait!  I got bashed?  Well, gosh. Now I have to go find it!! 

For the record:  hate the polls.  Would kill for a red pen option.  And I LOVE being called a bridezilla since I've been married for 31 years.  It just makes me giggle every time.

::off to find my bashing::

bablingbrooke

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_stage-others?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:7c8197e9-957c-4fe3-a38e-c846ac4d6a19Post:98afc9fb-81ef-4abf-ba94-9b720db83975">Re: **stage** and others</a>:
[QUOTE]I really don't understand that argument.  "We're paying for all of this ourselves so we have a low budget" gets thrown around a lot there.  I don't understand how parents paying means "high budget" or bride and groom paying means "low budget."  There are plenty of low budget parent-hosted weddings and high budget bride and groom-hosted weddings.
Posted by gottahavashorti[/QUOTE]
Exactly.  A friend of mine is getting married this summer and she and her groom are paying for it by themselves and she told me it's going to be about a $30,000 wedding for 70 people.  My parents and ILs paid for our wedding and it was about $12,000, which I realize isn't exactly low-budget but 1) it's below the median and 2) that's for 140 people without skimping on things like food or booze.  We just didn't get a lot of things other couples do, like limos or favors or floral centerpieces or a "spotlight first dance package" (which we had to fire our 1st DJ over because he kept pushing us to buy it for $2,000 and kept saying our wedding would be ruined if we didn't).