My sister-in-law (loving dh's sister) asked me to be in her wedding several months ago as a bridesmaid. I excitedly said yes. I talked to her when I would see her about her wedding and the plans and answered her questions about various photographers and items like that. We went and tried to bridesmaid s dresses and picked one out. Her fiance and father were with us while we tried on dresses and I was a bit quiet because I don't like trying on clothes in front of men, but that is just me. I gave her information on a friend of mine that sells flower girl dresses and she made an appointment to go see her. After she made the appointment, she asked me to go with her and I couldn't due to work. Meanwhile, we are still talking about other wedding things and both living our lives. She doesn't work. I work full time as a teacher and have four kids to take care of. A month or so goes by and I hadn't heard from the Maid of Honor about the bridal shower yet, so I call the MOH to ask about the shower to be told that my MIL is planning one. I talk to bride and tell her I would be happy to plan one and to let me know what she wanted. Bride told me that she was going to get everyone together to plan the shower because everyone had different opinions. I told her that was fine and to just let me know and that I would be happy to do whatever she wanted. I didn't hear anything so I figured they would be meeting in the future at some point as this was only three weeks ago. On Saturday at my eldest son's birthday party, my MIL hands me an invitation to the bride's shower. I was stunned because I wasn't invited to a meeting, but didn't say anything because I thought the MIL might have done it by herself. When I went to put the date into my calendar, I realized that the date they planned the shower for was one that I had planned for my family (dh, two sons and twins - four of which are in the wedding) to go camping with my extended family. I immediately texted bride with the information apologizing profusely. (I didn't want to cancel camping trip because my sister has untreatable cancer and she really wanted to go and who knows if this would be her last time she would be healthy enough). Bride calls my DH and tells him she wants to talk to him in person. We go to MIL house (where bride and finance live) to celebrate my BIL's birthday). Bride and DH talk. Upon Dh and I and kids arrival home, he worriedly tells me that Bride (SIL) doesn't want me in the wedding anymore. I call bride and calmly ask why. She answered that I don't seem to care about the wedding and that I didn't do anything to help. I explained that I didn't know about the meeting (I double checked my text messages and I never recieved a text about the meeting) and that I was sorry if I hurt her at all and that I hoped she had a lovely wedding (nicely not sarcastically). She said that she wasn't mad at me and I responded telling her in a calm manner that I was really hurt by being kicked out and I really didn't quite understand why.
My question is: Since I am out of the wedding, should I take my daughters out of the wedding? (DH can figure out what he wants to do with himself and his son) Right now, I don't want to go to the wedding, but for the sake of family should I attend? Ideas, thoughts and comments would be helpful.
Thank you.