Bridesman question

[Deleted User]

Hi Knotties,

One member of my bridal party is going to be my best friend of the past 5 years, and he's a guy (duh). I just wanted to know, as a bridesman, what kind of role will he play? I don't mean necessarily what "tasks" should I give him; I haven't done this to my MOH or BMs and have no intention to... I really just want to enjoy this time with them all anyways, not make them my slaves ;P Same goes for my bridesman, I don't want him to be in a position of awkwardness or to feel left out if things like DIY nights or other stuff occurs. 

Which brings me to another point  - is it appropriate for him to attend my bachelorette, or would he feel more comfortable at my fiance's party? I am so lost in all of this so any advice would be greatly appreciated!

AddieCake

I doubt he will feel left out of DIY nights unless he is into that kind of stuff. Same for the bachelorette. If he is going to be the only guy there, he may not be interested in that. Is he friends with your fiance? It's not your place to choose the guests for his bachelor party, so let your fiance handle that. You could always do something just the 2 of you if you are worried he will get left out of things.

Simply Fated

These are questions you need to ask him. Also, while you all might be girls and he's a guy, he might not necessarily feel more comfortable at your fiance's bach party. I mean, is he friends with him and his friends? What if they don't want him there, ya know? I'd invite him to all your activities and let him decide. If your fiance wants to invite him, then he can do that, too.

[Deleted User]

Good point. Him and my FI are friends, albeit not as close. The three of us usually do dinner together once a month (we live in a diff city than him now so it's harder to get together more frequently). 

My fiance actually brought up him going to his bachelor's party and hanging with the groomsmen the morning of.. It seemed logical, kinda figured he wouldn't want to hang out with girls all night (and the vast amount of phallic accessories I've already been warned about by my lady BMs haha...) but at the same time I don't want him to be insulted by any assumptions I made on his part either. I am probably just overanalyzing?

I think you've both got a valid point that I should extend all invites and let him do what he'd feel more comfortable doing. Thank you!

kipnus

I had two guys and two girls on my side (all my siblings), and H had two guys and two girls on his side. I invited one of H's female attendants to my b-party, because we were also close friends. I did not invite my brothers! 

On the wedding day, everyone sort of got ready in separate groups. Though my brothers were in the same house, they weren't in the room with me and my sisters until I was all ready. The girls on H's side got ready on their own at their hotels, then met H and the other guys at the church, where they buttoned vests, tied ties, and got "getting ready pics" there.

Xstatic3333

My bridesman took FI up on his offer to be "with the guys" day of and for pre-wedding parties. My MOH wants the bachelorette to be girls only, which I have mixed feelings about. I don't know what she's planning, so she may have her reasons, but I think my bridesman would have appreciated being included. It looks like he will have a conflict with the date anyway. I think every guy is different, and the best solution is to ask him what he is most comfortable with.

[Deleted User]

Thanks for the great advice everyone!