Maid or Matron?

KBcker59

Hi Everyone,

I am new to the boards, but was hoping for some honest opinions about an unusualy situation I have.

My fiance and I got engaged about a year and half ago, and set our date for October, 2011 because I'm in grad school and we needed some time for me to finish and save some money up.  When we got engaged my older sister (5 years older), who is one of my maids  of honor kind of put the rush on her boyfriend to get the ball moving on her own engagement.  Well he didn't, and they wound up getting engaged about 3 weeks ago and setting their date 5 months before my wedding.

It took me a while to accept this arrangment, i'm not a normally selfish person, but I felt like my special time was being impeded on a bit...and I would be lying if I told you I'm not a little bit bitter.

So my question is this....since my sister is going to be married before my wedding....she would technically be my Matron of Honor.  I found a great deal on iron on appliques for t-shirts and wanted opinions if I should get one that says Maid or Matron for her.  I'm biased and would love some honest opinions.  Thank you so much in advance.

emilykathleen511

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_maid-matron?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:83a8f349-f6eb-4ab0-936f-50d21dc04d07Post:c78ea944-414d-451a-8014-4480dd23ae21">Maid or Matron?</a>:
[QUOTE]Hi Everyone, I am new to the boards, but was hoping for some honest opinions about an unusualy situation I have. My fiance and I got engaged about a year and half ago, and set our date for October, 2011 because I'm in grad school and we needed some time for me to finish and save some money up.  When we got engaged my older sister (5 years older), who is one of my maids  of honor kind of put the rush on her boyfriend to get the ball moving on her own engagement.  Well he didn't, and they wound up getting engaged about 3 weeks ago and setting their date 5 months before my wedding. It took me a while to accept this arrangment, i'm not a normally selfish person, but I felt like my special time was being impeded on a bit...and I would be lying if I told you I'm not a little bit bitter. So my question is this....since my sister is going to be married before my wedding....she would technically be my Matron of Honor.  I found a great deal on iron on appliques for t-shirts and wanted opinions if I should get one that says Maid or Matron for her.  I'm biased and would love some honest opinions.  Thank you so much in advance.
Posted by KBcker59[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Maid= unmarried</div><div>Matron= married</div><div>
</div><div>But honestly, I don't think it matters. It's not like people call married people bridesmatrons instead of bridesmaids. I think it should be your sister's preference.

</div>

emilykathleen511

Also, get over the fact that your sister is getting married before you. It's not a big deal. Just be happy for her.

trix1223

Technically, a married woman is a matron of honor. 

But seriously, she's geting married FIVE MONTHS before you, and you're upset?  You get a day for your wedding.  You don't get to claim 5 months on either side of your wedding.

My niece was married 6 weeks to the day before DD.  They were very different weddings, albeit that about 1/3 of the guest list was the same.

You need to let go of that~you're really over-reacting here.

And FWIW:  I wouldn't bother with iron on appliques for shirts.  I'd hate wearing something that said Bridesmaid or Matron of Honor.  I'd probably suck it up if you insisted, but I'd hate it.  It's just nms at all.

KBcker59

Thanks for the opinions girls,

I just want to clarify though, none of whats going on changes the fact that I love my sister and I am happy that she's happy.  I would never want less for her than I would for myself. 

Its a little more complex now though since both weddings are same parents, and our other sister is the MOH for both and there's a financial crunch for everyone involved. 5 months isn't a lot of time to recoup from weddings that you're heavily involved in. 

Of course, its good advice to just find a way to deal and get over it and concentrate on my time that  do have.  )

Trix, Thanks for the input on the T-shirts.  Do you think it would be better to get them a totebag to put there things in for that day or you think either way its not really worth it?

zeb_sas

Matron. I understand the whole sister getting married thing. My wedding has been scheduled for July 3 2010 for over a year and a half. My older sister decided in Sept to have her wedding in October of this year, then in January changed it to April. I was disappointed in it, but mostly because she tried to use alot of my ideas =/  It gets easier! It is def. hard at first and some people don't realize it until it happens to them so I totally understand!
I got tshirts for my girls, along with other gifts. I think they are fine.