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That one bridesmaid...

It seems like some of us seem to have that one or 2 bridesmaid that doesn't order her dress until the last min.  Well my dresses take 4-5 monthes to come in. My one bridesmaid is going through a divorce and I understand it's hard for her right now.  (Even though she claims she has never been happier)  but hasn't ordered her or her daughter( my flower girl's) dress yet.  We still have time but she hasn't answered me the past few weeks when I ask her to come to the bridal store with me or if I could mail her the contrract.. What should I do to go about this in a nice way??

Re: That one bridesmaid...

  • If you're getting married in June, she still has plenty of time. Get off of her case until she's actually running up against the deadline. With a divorce and caring for her daughter going on, she's probably not thinking that being 7 1/2 months out from a wedding (when the dresses need 4-5 months) is being late about anything.
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  • ViczaesarViczaesar Central Coast, CA member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Out of curiosity, is this the same bridesmaid who you were complaining about not liking the boutique?

    Your wedding is 10 months away.  This is in no way the last minute.



  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_that-one-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:84b557e5-234b-4a79-9bc4-e70deeb025e7Post:9024db72-f8ce-4ada-9f65-180d06aac87a">That one bridesmaid...</a>:
    [QUOTE]It seems like some of us seem to have that one or 2 bridesmaid that doesn't order her dress until the last min.  Well my dresses take 4-5 monthes to come in. My one bridesmaid is going through a divorce and I understand it's hard for her right now.  (Even though she claims she has never been happier)  but hasn't ordered her or her daughter( my flower girl's) dress yet.  We still have time but she hasn't answered me the past few weeks when I ask her to come to the bridal store with me or if I could mail her the contrract.. What should I do to go about this in a nice way??
    Posted by vkayse137[/QUOTE]

    Ask the store for the drop dead date.  It's probably months from now.

    Even though she says she is happy, and even if she wanted the divorce, the process is emotionally and financially draining.  The last thing she needs is you bringing this up in any way,
    Proud to be an old married hag!! image
  • Please don't helicopter your bridesmaid.  I honestly can tell you, as a type A, it is possible to be respectful and trust your bridesmaids.  Trust her, she's an adult.
    Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten

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    Anniversary

  • Well thank you then for your positive feedback.  The bridal store says it will take 5-6 monthes to come in, that would be the end of April.  Then with alterations and whatever else the girls need to do I figured it would be nice so that they have 1 month to make those arrangements!  I'm not nagging my friend I'm actually laying back and just waiting to get a response that is all.  If the bridal store is lying that is another story and now that I know that, I won't be as anxious to get them ordered.  My wedding date is June 1st. Thanks girls.
  • ViczaesarViczaesar Central Coast, CA member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_that-one-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:84b557e5-234b-4a79-9bc4-e70deeb025e7Post:7d1099a6-af48-4219-a67f-91fde8bc7be5">Re: That one bridesmaid...</a>:
    [QUOTE]Well thank you then for your positive feedback.  The bridal store says it will take 5-6 monthes to come in, that would be the end of April.  Then with alterations and whatever else the girls need to do I figured it would be nice so that they have 1 month to make those arrangements!  I'm not nagging my friend I'm actually laying back and just waiting to get a response that is all.  If the bridal store is lying that is another story and now that I know that, I won't be as anxious to get them ordered.  My wedding date is June 1st. Thanks girls.
    Posted by vkayse137[/QUOTE]


    What brand dress did you pick?



  • I'm asking advice from internet strangers how to deal with it because I'm being proactive and I don't want to make it hard for the other bridesmaids if the dresses are ordered late and come in last min.  I want them to have time to get thier dresses alterted and what not.  I sure didn't ask for your advice!!


    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_that-one-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:84b557e5-234b-4a79-9bc4-e70deeb025e7Post:6437693d-c989-43cf-9dc9-daf1b21cac8f">Re: That one bridesmaid...</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: That one bridesmaid... : No, that isn't all.  You're obviously not that laid back about it if you're posting on a message board asking internet strangers how to deal with it.  
    Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]
  • Dessy Group


    n Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_that-one-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:84b557e5-234b-4a79-9bc4-e70deeb025e7Post:5e38bbe4-83a2-4f14-b84f-64b051c8f4a2">Re: That one bridesmaid...</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: That one bridesmaid... : What brand dress did you pick?
    Posted by Viczaesar[/QUOTE]
  • ViczaesarViczaesar Central Coast, CA member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    So in reality she doesn't even have to order it from that store.



  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_that-one-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:84b557e5-234b-4a79-9bc4-e70deeb025e7Post:32eba207-5561-406f-889c-910564f5dd38">Re: That one bridesmaid...</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm asking advice from internet strangers how to deal with it because I'm being proactive and I don't want to make it hard for the other bridesmaids if the dresses are ordered late and come in last min.  I want them to have time to get thier dresses alterted and what not.  I sure didn't ask for your advice!! In Response to Re: That one bridesmaid... :
    Posted by vkayse137[/QUOTE]

    Is there a reason that all the girls have to order at once? If not, and they're waiting, just tell them to go ahead. Find out a drop dead deadline from the store. When that's a week or so away, if this BM hasn't ordered yet, drop a quick text saying something like "hey, just heard from the dress shop. She said that the deadline's coming up to order. Lemme know if you need anything from me!" That should be fine.
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  • From what I have heard, dessy dresses can come in as quickly as a few weeks up to a few months. I've never heard of them taking more than 4. Just relax until January at the earliest.
  • Your BM will have enough time to order her dress as well as her daughter's dress. You have to understand that what is important to you may not be important to others.

    Not meaning it in a bad way, but you have to look at her situation...She's going through a divorce...A very emotional time and she may not be in the mood or have the positive emotions to order a dress and other "wedding" things for her friend's marriage when hers is ending, whether she tells you she's okay or not.

    Retread Bride is right, friendships do go both ways. You may want to talk to her about other things besides when she will be ordering her dress. That courageous conversation may be needed to get to the underlying issues. Hope that this helps.

  • Thanks so much, now I know I can lay back since the Dessy Group doesn't take 5 monthes to come in -in reality!!
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