Is it supposed to be this difficult?

dzerbini

All along, I've been trying to be accomodating to my bridesmaids and junior bridesmaids.  I've tried to give them flexibility with things so that they can keep the expense down.  I told my FSIL (who is the mother of the junior bridesmaids) that for the shoes, she could go with ivory, silver, or get shoes dyed to match the light blue dresses.  I was told yesterday by my FMIL that FSIL bought them white shoes.  They don't think there is much of difference between ivory and white anyway and nobody will notice.

My gown is ivory, not white.  All I can think of is those girls standing in front of me for pictures and their very white shoes standing out against my ivory gown. 

I'm not a fashionista or diva typically.  Should I request that she return the shoes and get what I asked for? 

BTW, I did send her an email today suggesting that the bridal shop carries shoes for children that can be dyed to match their dresses.  I did not mention that I heard she bought white shoes for them already. 

MyNameIsNot

Unless your gown is a really dark ivory, like more of a beige, you won't be able to tell the difference in the pictures.  

If it does come out bad, you can have your photographer photoshop their shoes to off white.  But it really won't matter.  Lots of women wear ivory gowns while the men wear white shirts.  You can't tell.  

CA2MT4EveR

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_supposed-this-difficult?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:86d6ed67-84e1-4718-bdd6-89e04e9efb8dPost:200a9b3d-0077-4eb6-a78d-730851fe0853">Is it supposed to be this difficult?</a>:
[QUOTE]All along, I've been trying to be accomodating to my bridesmaids and junior bridesmaids.  I've tried to give them flexibility with things so that they can keep the expense down.  I told my FSIL (who is the mother of the junior bridesmaids) that for the shoes, she could go with ivory, silver, or get shoes dyed to match the light blue dresses.  I was told yesterday by my FMIL that FSIL bought them white shoes.  They don't think there is much of difference between ivory and white anyway and nobody will notice. My gown is ivory, not white.  All I can think of is those girls standing in front of me for pictures and their very white shoes standing out against my ivory gown.  I'm not a fashionista or diva typically.  Should I request that she return the shoes and get what I asked for?  BTW, I did send her an email today suggesting that the bridal shop carries shoes for children that can be dyed to match their dresses.  I did not mention that I heard she bought white shoes for them already. 
Posted by dzerbini[/QUOTE]

White and ivory are not that much different from each other.  It is NOT a big deal. You are overanalyzing and stressing over things that do not matter.  They can keep the shoes and your wedding will go on.

amylydia23

It is not a big deal.  They are just shoes and on the big day you will not be worrying about whether their shoes are white or ivory.  I agree with then, ivory and white are very simliar and no one will notice especially on something as small as shoes.  Plus, you don't want to start an issue that really doesn't need to be addressed. 

saxy414

You won't be able to tell.  If you're really worried about it--either do as MNIN said and have the photographer photoshop them to ivory, or don't have them stand directly in front of or next to your dress.  This is not something to make a big deal out of. 

Also, it's probably more convenient for the girls to have white shoes than silver or blue shoes, and mom may be thinking the most cost-effective thing, as in shoes that the girls can wear some other time.  I got silver shoes for a wedding-I've worn them once, and how many times do you think you would wear light blue shoes that match ONE dress perfectly?  I say let this one go.

mbcdefg

Nobody would ever, EVER be comparing the flower girls' shoes to your gown. Relax.

trix1223

You're completely overthinking this.  There isn't any way that this even shows up in photos, much less in person.  This is so not at all worth worrying about. 

It's not your fault.  The silly wedding industry marketers do a really good job of making people think that stuff like this matters.

Relax and enjoy your wedding!  Good luck.

trix1223

Also, FWIW:  on wedding day, ask all your guests what color your dress is.  99.9% of them will say white, not ivory.  Because there's really so little difference between the two.

millyd2005

I'm going to go against the grain on this and say that Yes, some people may actually notice the difference.  In the long run you may be overthinking things, but since it's the little details that count, and since little shoes are not that expensive, you should be able to remind her your dress is Iovry, and that white may possibly stick out.

Sorry to bust everyone's bubble...but I tend to look at the details of things to see how much work went into it.

MyNameIsNot

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_supposed-this-difficult?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:86d6ed67-84e1-4718-bdd6-89e04e9efb8dPost:c45492ce-36a7-4762-a4a4-d0b3ee5b7fad">Re: Is it supposed to be this difficult?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm going to go against the grain on this and say that Yes, some people may actually notice the difference.  In the long run you may be overthinking things, but since it's the little details that count, and since little shoes are not that expensive, you should be able to remind her your dress is Iovry, and that white may possibly stick out. Sorry to bust everyone's bubble...but I tend to look at the details of things to see how much work went into it.
Posted by millyd2005[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Hopefully, your guests will be there thinking about how much they love you and how happy you look, not over analyzing everything and judging you for it.  It isn't the details that count.  What counts is that everyone (including you) has a good time.  </div><div>
</div><div>I promise, ivory reads as white, though.  Look at all the pictures in people's bios.  See if you can tell which dresses are white and which are ivory.  

</div>

xoxob

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_supposed-this-difficult?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:86d6ed67-84e1-4718-bdd6-89e04e9efb8dPost:c45492ce-36a7-4762-a4a4-d0b3ee5b7fad">Re: Is it supposed to be this difficult?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm going to go against the grain on this and say that Yes, some people may actually notice the difference.  In the long run you may be overthinking things, but since it's the little details that count, and since little shoes are not that expensive, you should be able to remind her your dress is Iovry, and that white may possibly stick out. Sorry to bust everyone's bubble...but I tend to look at the details of things to see how much work went into it.
Posted by millyd2005[/QUOTE]

All I can think of is, people in glass houses...

emilyinchile

I'd be annoyed that you gave specific guidelines and they were apparently ignored. But I wouldn't do anything about it...as PPs have said, it really won't be noticeable on the day, and it's just not worth you stressing over or potentially causing family drama over.

FWIW, when my MIL asked what she should wear, I said just not black or white because I felt like black was kind of depressing for the MOG. She got something black, and although I could have said something, I decided it wasn't worth potentially worth hurting her feelings over. She looked great, and I'm pretty sure no one found her look depressing. These little things just don't matter in the long run.