BM drop out

KMck27

Without going into much detail, one of my bridesmaids just dropped out due to financial struggles. I'm disappointed however not mad because really, it happens. However it is 4 months until the wedding and her dress is already ordered and due to arrive soon. I have friends I didn't ask to be in the party, who I would love to be included. Would it be rude to ask someone to join the party in place of the other Bridesmaid?

jagore08

Yes.  There's no need to replace a BM.  Like pp stated, how would you feel if you were a replacement BM?

Summer2011Bride

Don't replace her. That will not only make her feel crappy, but also her replacement. Has she already paid for the dress? If so, I don't think there's anything you can/need to do about the dress. Although I also understand why she dropped out, she did choose to do so knowing she had already ordered/paid for the dress. If she has not paid for it yet, then I would contact the shop to see what needs to be done about it.

mbcdefg

Yes, it would be really rude to bring in a replacement. As for the dress ... if she paid for it and you're still on good terms with her, you could help her try to sell it on eBay or Craigslist or you can do this if you had agreed to pay for the dress. If you're not on good terms with her, then she can figure out what to do with it. Would she stay in the wedding party if you paid for her dress? If she's still coming as a guest then the dress would be her only other expense, right? Ot is she not coming as a guest because flights and the hotel are too much money?

arield53

As previously stated it would be rude. However, that doesn't mean you have to sacrifice the dress. You should call and ask the company you ordered from and see what they have to say. You never know

MyNameIsNot

It would be a slap in the face to this girl and to the replacement to ask someone to be the understudy.  Don't do it.

If financial is the only reason she dropped out, I would be talking to her about what you can do to help her with the costs.  If it's expensive travel, that's one thing, but if it's a couple of bucks to pay off the dress, you should gift it to her.  It's not hard to shave 50-100 off a wedding budget, and I'm sure a friend is more important than wedding stuff.  

aerinpegadrak

I would talk to her to see what you can cover.  We paid a lot of expenses for our WP, from chipping in for attire to helping cover their travel and hotel, because the important thing to us was that they were there.  We're not wealthy by any means, but we cut back in other places to make it possible.

Whatever you do, don't replace her.  No one wants to feel like they're replaceable, and no one wants to feel like a second choice.

Epiphany1031

 I agree with everyone else, it would be rude. I had a friend in the same situation.. they were fine after she had to drop out (it was understandable) but then things became awkward after she was replaced with someone else. I remember her calling me upset about it. Now they barely talk..