Wedding Party

BM/ Future SIL issues

I asked my future sister in law to be one of my bridesmaids.  it's something my fiance really wanted to help us become closer.  She is several years younger than us, but we both decided it was a good idea since he was having my brother.  She is not and have never been a girly girl.  When we asked her she said she wanted to do it even though it required wearing a dress and possibly heels.  When we went bridesmaids dress shopping all of the other girls loved the dresses and she complained they were too short.  Since i'm having a summer wedding i figured cute silver flip flops would be cute.  She complained she hated flip flops.  Now I asked all of my bridesmaid if their ears are pierced so i can get special made jewelry and she replied so that all of my best friends could see.  "I'm not wearing your jewelry.  i'm keeping in my gages, lip ring, and tongue ring".  I felt very disrespected.  i talk to my fiance about it but we don't know what to do.  Should we ask her to step down or just see what happens?  I don't want major drama on my wedding day.
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