Wedding Party

3 BM's but only one is rude

I have picked my 3 BF's to be my bridesmaid's.

Two had a landlord/tenant agreement 2 years ago that didn't end on the best terms

The one that was the landlord in that situation is the one stressing me out!

She has informed me she doesn't like the other one and that she won't be partaking in anything that involves her, so if she's coming to help me at a certain time than this chock will come before or after. She doesn't basically want this other friend of mine to even talk to her, and she is one to be condesending and rude to those she doesn't like. I don't have time for drama or childish antics. I have been waiting 7 years for this one day and she has really put me in a stressful situation. The one she has a issue with, has no issue; and is just as excited as me!

HOW do I deal with this? I already asked her?

Re: 3 BM's but only one is rude

  • Ditto cfas.  The only time these two really need to be in the same place is when they are at your side while you are saying your vows. Pre-wedding parties, including showers, (IF someone offers to throw them)  are not compulsory for any bridal party member to attend, ever.  And I wouldn't recommend you plan any extra BP get-togethers, even if the girls were all eager to hang out.  They all don't need to be BFFs or even like each other.   For many of the ladies on these boards, our BP members didn't all even meet each other until the rehearsal dinner, and they never had to see each other again afterward.



  • You asked her because she's one of her best friends.  Your wedding isn't a reason that they necessarily have to spend all the time in the world together.  Shop for BM dresses separately, and don't discuss one to the other.  As the final day approaches, take them both aside and say "Look, I know you have your differences, but if you can just set it aside for the one day I will be forever grateful."  

    Keep it simple.  Don't get wrapped up in the "it's my wedding day so everyone around me will magically become perfect" mentality.
  • kmmssgkmmssg mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited July 2012
    Let her know that you will invite the BM's to different things and it is up to each girl whether she would like to attend or not.  You will NOT divy up events to keep them apart.  Tell her you love her and want her in the wedding but you aren't getting in the middle of any drama and you won't have the drama for the wedding.

    Why on Earth did you pick both of them?  Didn't you know the blood between them was pretty bad?
  • Tell her that everyone is getting the same invitations and if she doesn't want to attend, you will miss her.
    Proud to be an old married hag!! image
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_3-bms-but-only-one-is-rude?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:8ae808e4-0c39-4d06-8f53-f1914d08608ePost:02690515-8df9-42ec-bf18-fcf8163d55ad">3 BM's but only one is rude</a>:
    [QUOTE]I have picked my 3 BF's to be my bridesmaid's. Two had a landlord/tenant agreement 2 years ago that didn't end on the best terms The one that was the landlord in that situation is the one stressing me out! She has informed me she doesn't like the other one and that she won't be partaking in anything that involves her, so if she's coming to help me at a certain time than this chock will come before or after. <strong>She doesn't basically want this other friend of mine to even talk to her, and she is one to be condesending and rude to those she doesn't like.</strong> I don't have time for drama or childish antics. I have been waiting 7 years for this one day and she has really put me in a stressful situation. The one she has a issue with, has no issue; and is just as excited as me! HOW do I deal with this? I already asked her?
    Posted by CorinneBeaupre[/QUOTE]

    I find it hard to believe this behavior only popped up <em>after</em> you asked them to be in your wedding.
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