NWR: baby shower

stina93446

I have a friend on facebook who is pregnant. She is having a baby shower (this is actually the one who wrote about her shower in her status update) Well, she invited me via facebook to her shower in a closed event (which I am glad that she did this and didn't do it with an open group) 

I have not seen this girl since probably 10th grade and my parents made me stop being her friend because they said she was a bad influence on me. I think it's nice that she invited me, but should I get her a gift? 

I guess it's similar as to being invited to a wedding, no? I know for sure that I'm not going to the shower. I live 3000 miles away. Or does this seem gift grabby?

blackfire5th

Unless you chat all the time now, I wouldn't send a gift.  She probably invited most of her facebook female friends.

stina93446

you're right, blackfire. I just checked out the "awaiting reply" box and there are 40 something guests in it. There are already 9 confirmed guests. Boo, and I thought I was special...

emilyinchile

I agree with blackfire. A congrats of some sort would be nice (card or just an e-mail), but I don't think a gift is necessary.

MyNameIsNot

I agree.  I might send a card, but an invitation from someone you haven't talked to in (10ish?) years who lives on the other side of the country screams gift grab to me.  

stina93446

Good idea, I'll get her a card.

I forgot that I HAVE seen her recently....her mom died last year and I brought her flowers....but aside from that, it's been a facebook comment here and there.

blackfire5th

I had a friend do something like this (except we were friends IRL, not just facebook) who sent out an e-mail to everyone saying "if you want to be invited to my shower, send me your address!"

I ended up getting her something small.  If she had sent me a private e-mail, I would have felt special, but sending it out to all her female friends at once felt gift grabby to me.

megk8oz

I'm with the others. Send a card, don't bother with a gift.

I'm not going to lie, though, precious and few are the times when the "givee" isn't a close friend or relative where I'm going to advocate sending a gift.

stina93446

blackfire, I know this girl IRL. We went to middle and high school together....but mom and dad sensed that she was a bad egg...

blackfire5th

By the IRL thing I just meant that I still see them and talk to them outside of facebook.  

stina93446

oh ok, I thought you thought I had never met this girl and that we were friends only through facebook. My bad.

lalap69

Yeah, it seems a bit gift grabby to me.  If it was one of your actual friends and you just couldn't make the shower, I'd say to send a gift, but this is a facebook invite from someone who's not actually in your life.  Send your regrets, and maybe a card if you're so inclined.

stina93446

@banana, yeah, I wouldn't send her a gift....I did however bring her flowers when her mom died. But that was it. And yes, I do think she is throwing her own shower....

aerinpegadrak

I think flowers or a very small gift might be nice if you feel guilty about it, but I think you could get away with just a card.