BM backed out...

mrssalinas2b

New to the board and thanks in advance for the help!

To make a long story short, one of my BMs who lives out of state is backing out because she took a new job and isn't sure if she can get the time off for my wedding in November. She possibly could make it in at the last second but doesn't want to commit now. My question is - Should I ask another friend who would clearly know they are second choice or just leave the wedding party uneven? Everyone else in the wedding party was asked 5 months ago and we're just under 7 months till the wedding and days away from ordering dresses.

emilyinchile

Leave it uneven. If you lurk a bit, you'll see that other posters have had the same question and gotten the same advice.

trix1223

WPs are NOT about symmetry.  If your friend does dtop out,  you don't have an understudy for the role.

Really, what's wrong with uneven sides, anyway?

megk8oz

Leave it uneven. Nobody likes being a "replacement", plus you're marriage will still be valid at the end of the day (Which is really what it's all about, non?).

CA2MT4EveR

Leave it.  And hope she can come.  Because if she can and she was replaced, that sucks.  Don't make her commit to a dress, but maybe she can find something similar just in case.

suz62984

leave it hands down

mrssalinas2b

Thank you! That was my thought but my FMIL thinks it will "look funny" in pictures. She just wants me to include FBILs girlfriend but they are in high school and break up all the time. I told FMIL she can do the registery, that way if they break up it's no big deal we can get someone else to stand there.

MyNameIsNot

What do you mean do the registry?  Be a gift table attendant?

You don't need anyone to do that.  

mrssalinas2b

Sorry, meant guest book.

MyNameIsNot

You don't need anyone to do that either.  It's a boring crappy job, and people know what to do when they see the guest book.  

If the GF is still with him, just let her be a guest.  She doesn't need to be a BM or to have a job.  

Licia&Wayne

Ditto MNIN. Unless she specifically asks to do something like that - I have a friend who really wants to do it so it's not unheard of - don't assign her to a task like that. It's pretty lame to just stand there and shuffle pens around.

CA2MT4EveR

Looking funny in pictures is the person who didn't get a date to prom but is still taking pictures with friends. That's when you question the unevenness.

trix1223

Your FMIL is from the generation that considered numbers more than considering people.  (I'm from that generation, so I'm not making fun of her.)   We wouldn't have dreamed of having uneven sides.  People would probably have run from the room clutching their pearls.

 It's just that people have gotten smarter about WPs now, and uneven sides are no longer unusual.

If she still balks, send her here and have her page me......I'll help. 

Oh, and there really isn't a need for someone to stand by a guest book and tell people (who know how to pick up a pen and sign their names)  how to pick up a pen and sign their names.  Skip it.

GL