WPBP of the day

stina93446

If you knew your friend was cheating on her boyfriend, what would you do?

If the person she was cheating on was her husband instead, does this change your answer?

What about if they had kids together?

Do you believe the rule: Once a cheater, always a cheater?

stina93446

If you knew your friend was cheating on her boyfriend, what would you do?I might tell her to break it off or tell the bf because it's worse to cheat on someone than to break up. Yes, both options hurt, but cheating is way worse.
If the person she was cheating on was her husband instead, does this change your answer?I would suggest marriage counseling.
What about if they had kids together?Marriage counseling definitely, and DO NOT tell the kids why you're going.
Do you believe the rule: Once a cheater, always a cheater?I do believe it.

jagore08

If you knew your friend was cheating on her boyfriend, what would you do?

I would confront her.

If the person she was cheating on was her husband instead, does this change your answer?

I would still do the same.

What about if they had kids together?

Ditto as above.

Do you believe the rule: Once a cheater, always a cheater?

There are always exceptions to the rule.

emilyinchile

If you knew your friend was cheating on her boyfriend, what would you do? I would tell her that I disagreed with her choice and tell her to talk to him. I might also reevaluate my friendship with her. If I considered her BF a friend of mine, I might not outright tell him, but I would probably say something about how I got them impression that something was going on and encourage him to talk to her. If it was cheating with more than one person, and I thought he was at risk for STDs, I might just tell him and deal with him being angry.

If the person she was cheating on was her husband instead, does this change your answer? I don't think so. It would just suck more.

What about if they had kids together? Stina, these are hard questions! I don't know. I would have to think about whether the kids were worse off having their mom secretly cheating but otherwise living their normal lives or having the truth come out and it potentially wreck their family - I think that would depend on too many factors to give a blanket answer.

Do you believe the rule: Once a cheater, always a cheater? If it was a one time thing, not necessarily. If it was a relationship, yes.

SarahPLiz

If you knew your friend was cheating on her boyfriend, what would you do?

Express my unwaivering disapproval and help her analyze why, and evaluate her options and how her actions affect others

If the person she was cheating on was her husband instead, does this change your answer?
Nope

What about if they had kids together?
Nope

Do you believe the rule: Once a cheater, always a cheater?
Maybe, I think that once someone goes down that road, its really hard not to do again. However, I do believe that some people change when they realize the ramifications of their actions.


Can you tell Ive been through this recently? BFF(mother of my godchild) was cheating on her husband, got pregnant, miscarried, and then finally broke off the affair (all in a span of about 3 months). Her husband has no idea. The guy she was cheating with is a friend of our from HS and is also married, with 2 kids. She's done with it now, and she is on better terms with her husband. That affair was a real wakeup call for her that they needed to work on their relationship. It kills me to not tell him, but it would certainly do more harm than good to many people i care about.

Licia&Wayne

If you knew your friend was cheating on her boyfriend, what would you do? I don't know that I could be friends with her in the long run, but at the time, I would probably talk to her about it and what a skeezy move cheating is and all the damage she is doing to her significant other, her relationships and herself. 

If the person she was cheating on was her husband instead, does this change your answer? I think this depends on the type of cheating, if that makes sense. If it's a long running affair, eff you girl, you suck. If it was a one time thing and she is dead set on making her marriage work and fixing the issues, I would be a little more supportive as long as she was taking the steps to make their marriage stronger (like counseling).

What about if they had kids together? ...see above answer.

Do you believe the rule: Once a cheater, always a cheater? No. I generally believe people grow up and start recognizing the problems they have that lead them to cheat. But with that, I know there are plenty of people on this planet who will spend the rest of their days running around on their significant others. Ugh.

suz62984

If you knew she was cheating?
I would encourage her to tell him herself and analyze her actions. If she really didn't care that she was cheating and continued to do so I would tell. I have also done this before.

Being the hubby?
My answer wouldn't change but I would probably feel worse about telling him.

With kids?
I'm the product of a divorced household. I was young and it was hard but I would have hated to find out at 20 that my parents had only stayed together for me. My cousin's went through that at 21 and 25 and it seemed harder on them because their life was a "lie." Still wouldn't change my answer though.

Once a cheater, always a cheater?
hmmmm...Some people cheat and find nothing wrong with it. They lie and skate their way through life my stepping on other people's hearts. However, even the best of people can be tempted. I believe that some people can be labeled as a habitual cheater but not all. It depends on how sorry they are for it...

suz62984

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_wpbp-of-day-92?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:8f3cf32a-460c-4e44-bee1-6780e246f2dePost:650ad187-a763-433b-9184-2125bc5cb1bc">Re: WPBP of the day</a>:
[QUOTE]If you knew she was cheating? I would encourage her to tell him herself and analyze her actions. If she really didn't care that she was cheating and continued to do so I would tell. I<strong> have also done this before</strong>.
Posted by suz62984[/QUOTE]

been the bearer of bad news that it :)

jaimed99

If you knew your friend was cheating on her boyfriend, what would you do? I would talk to my friend first...ask her what's going on, why she feels the need to cheat, and see if she actually feels remorseful about it...if it seems like she doesn't care about her bf, then I might tell him...that also depends on the type of relationship I had with the bf (if we were friends or simply acquainted)
If the person she was cheating on was her husband instead, does this change your answer? No, not really, although I might suggest marriage counseling as well...
What about if they had kids together? I don't know, actually...I could say that it really doesn't involve the kids, but I know it does. I suppose it depends on the situation
Do you believe the rule: Once a cheater, always a cheater? In most cases, yes, I do...however, I do believe there are exceptions to every rule...I was the perpetual cheater and I learned the hard way the consequences of my actions...I won't cheat again.

AdeleDazeem

I like this poll, Stina - you're going to get lots of different answers, I think.

If you knew your friend was cheating on her boyfriend, what would you do? Ask her what in the world was up with her behavior.

If the person she was cheating on was her husband instead, does this change your answer?  Tough call.  No one likes the messenger, but no one likes a liar.  I think it would come down to how close I was with the husband.  But, I'd still ask my friend what in the world she was doing.

What about if they had kids together? Doesn't change my answer, actually...

Do you believe the rule: Once a cheater, always a cheater?  No.

stina93446

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_wpbp-of-day-92?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:8f3cf32a-460c-4e44-bee1-6780e246f2dePost:adb1c46a-51d2-4cd6-a9c7-dafdda5fc7a3">Re: WPBP of the day</a>:
[QUOTE]I like this poll, Stina - you're going to get lots of different answers, I think. 
Posted by Joy2611[/QUOTE]

<div>Good, I'm glad. I was afraid that everyone was going to think something was going on in MY life...lol</div><div>
</div><div>My cousin's wife just announced on facebook that she's having second thoughts about their marriage and I can TOTALLY tell who she is thinking about leaving him for based on her facebook activity. I sent her a message saying that it was unwise to put all this info out when not only am I her friend, but my cousin's grandma AND mother are her friends too.</div>

CA2MT4EveR

If you knew your friend was cheating on her boyfriend, what would you do?
I have been the one to know someone was cheating, and that someone was being cheated on.  I told a friend once that I thought her BF was cheating on her, and it created a huge drama-filled fiasco.  Now, I leave things be.  It is none of my business.

If the person she was cheating on was her husband instead, does this change your answer?
I would still stay out of it.  I don't want to be in the middle of a he-said-she-said

What about if they had kids together?
I believe it is better for people to be happy apart than miserable together.  I feel bad for kids whose parents marry due to pregnancy and really hate each other.  It is unhealthy for all parties involved.

Do you believe the rule: Once a cheater, always a cheater?
No I do not.  I will admit I cheated on my ex bf twice and felt sick and horrible about it forever, still do when I think about what I did.  He to this day does not know. There is no real excuse for my actions, though I will say I was unhappy in my relationship for a very long time when this happened.  I am very much in love with the man I am with now and am very happy.  I would never want to hurt the way I did before, and would never want to hurt him. 

jenn.daniel

If you knew your friend was cheating on her boyfriend, what would you do?  Confront her.  If it were a habitual thing, I doubt I'd be able to remain friends with her. 

If the person she was cheating on was her husband instead, does this change your answer?  nope

What about if they had kids together? same thing

Do you believe the rule: Once a cheater, always a cheater? I don't know. 

saxy414

If you knew your friend was cheating on her boyfriend, what would you do?  Talk to her, tell her what I think of her behavior honestly (that it sucks.) 

If the person she was cheating on was her husband instead, does this change your answer? No

What about if they had kids together? Definitely talk to her.  Sometimes people can do really selfish things and make horrible mistakes, but when there are kids involved, it's absolutely not fair to the kids.

Do you believe the rule: Once a cheater, always a cheater? Yes

megk8oz

If you knew your friend was cheating on her boyfriend, what would you do? This may sound terrible, but it totally depends on whether or not I liked the boyfriend ... if the guy was a friend of mine, I'd confront her and give her the option of telling him (Or I would). If it was a guy I didn't like or didn't care one way or the other about, I'd just phase her out as a friend.

If the person she was cheating on was her husband instead, does this change your answer? I think I'd probably do the same thing, maybe if I he was somebody I was "neutral" on, I might be more proactive. Still not stepping in if I hate the guy (Yes, I'm aware that makes me a bad person).

What about if they had kids together? Once kids are involved, all bets are off. Even if I didn't like the guy, when you involve kids, infidelity reaches a whole new level of f*cked up.

Do you believe the rule: Once a cheater, always a cheater? Yes. I tend to believe in most circumstances that people can change and deserve second chances ... but not when it comes to cheating.

LarissaAnn

If you knew your friend was cheating on her boyfriend, what would you do? If I'm really only friends with her, I'd tell her she was wrong, and to cut it out, and to just break up with the boyfriend and do things the right way 'round.  If she didn't come around, I'd likely just stop hanging out with her.  I wouldn't want to be part of it, be around it, hear about it, know about it.  If I was friends with him too, I'd tell her the same thing, with the caveat that I'd be telling him if she didn't fix it fast.

If the person she was cheating on was her husband instead, does this change your answer? No.

What about if they had kids together? Doesn't change things.

Do you believe the rule: Once a cheater, always a cheater? Pretty much, yes.  I think if you're prone to it, you're prone to it.  It doesn't mean you'll always act on it, but you don't draw that line.  If you're not prone to it, you're not and it'll never happen.