Should I say something?

SayLiLiG

My wedding was great. My reception was good, minus the fact I splurged on a DJ and NO ONE really danced. Half the people that said they were coming didnt.. blah blah. Straight to the point of the post.

My MOH got us absolutely NOTHING. Zilch. Not even a stinkin card. She told me at the reception she had to wait til the 16th, but we had a falling out and didnt talk for about a week. (Nothing to do with the wedding, just boy drama with my husbands cousin who she just needs to leave alone) But we are fine now after talking it out.

Should I say something? I'm not one to be rude, but Im curious if she is planning on anything. I spent well over 150 dollars on her. I bought her shoes and a really nice necklace for a BM gift. I just dont understand how she can talk it up so much, and then now nothing.
 
I feel bad because our groomsman gave us money, and yet we only spent a little on them because we got them personalized NFL flask, which they loved, but still. My girls didnt give us anything. One of them signed her name on one of our guy friends gifts, which I guess you would say she "gave" us something. LOL

I'm just kind of disappointed with my MOH I guess. My wedding started 45 minutes late because SHE was supposed to do my hair, but she didnt even finish hers until 10 minutes before my hair and make up were done. (Thankfully my make up artist came prepared for hair as well.) It sucks looking back on my happy day and having that negativity around all night. She freaked out when she had to give a speech, because she "didnt know she had to do that". She danced maybe twice the whole night. She spent the majority of the night getting in on the latest drama with a guy friends new girlfriend. And when it came time for us to go out afterwards, we asked everyone to tip our party bus driver since the owner of the bar we were going to let us use it free (my honey works there sometimes). Her and my other BM that was of age are the only ones who didnt give anything. All we asked for was a 5 dollar tip from everyone.

This really turned into a vent, but I had to let it out somewhere. Dont get me wrong my day was great, and once I saw my husband at the alter I forgot about everything and enjoyed myself. It was just the reflecting back on it that I realized how much she didnt do. Even during the clean up of the reception hall everyone but her helped pick up and load up. UGH.

Thanks for reading this whole thing, but again the point of the post.. Should I say something?

GoodLuckBear14

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_should-i-say-something?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:8f549442-7266-4d89-a95a-b5ad6c6f3ddaPost:4a35f7a6-0cbd-4989-a2b2-9d11e1af6a5d">Should I say something?</a>:
[QUOTE]My wedding was great. My reception was good, minus the fact I splurged on a DJ and NO ONE really danced. Half the people that said they were coming didnt.. blah blah. Straight to the point of the post. My MOH got us absolutely NOTHING. Zilch. Not even a stinkin card. She told me at the reception she had to wait til the 16th, but we had a falling out and didnt talk for about a week. (Nothing to do with the wedding, just boy drama with my husbands cousin who she just needs to leave alone) But we are fine now after talking it out. Should I say something? I'm not one to be rude, but Im curious if she is planning on anything. I spent well over 150 dollars on her. I bought her shoes and a really nice necklace for a BM gift. I just dont understand how she can talk it up so much, and then now nothing.   I feel bad because our groomsman gave us money, and yet we only spent a little on them because we got them personalized NFL flask, which they loved, but still. My girls didnt give us anything. One of them signed her name on one of our guy friends gifts, which I guess you would say she "gave" us something. LOL I'm just kind of disappointed with my MOH I guess. My wedding started 45 minutes late because SHE was supposed to do my hair, but she didnt even finish hers until 10 minutes before my hair and make up were done. (Thankfully my make up artist came prepared for hair as well.) It sucks looking back on my happy day and having that negativity around all night. She freaked out when she had to give a speech, because she "didnt know she had to do that". She danced maybe twice the whole night. She spent the majority of the night getting in on the latest drama with a guy friends new girlfriend. And when it came time for us to go out afterwards, we asked everyone to tip our party bus driver since the owner of the bar we were going to let us use it free (my honey works there sometimes). Her and my other BM that was of age are the only ones who didnt give anything. All we asked for was a 5 dollar tip from everyone. This really turned into a vent, but I had to let it out somewhere. Dont get me wrong my day was great, and once I saw my husband at the alter I forgot about everything and enjoyed myself. It was just the reflecting back on it that I realized how much she didnt do. Even during the clean up of the reception hall everyone but her helped pick up and load up. UGH. Thanks for reading this whole thing, but again the point of the post.. Should I say something?
Posted by SayLiLiG[/QUOTE]

No.  I'm sorry that you are obsessing about this but you really have to let it go.  It was crappy of her to not budget enough time to do your hair like she was supposed to but she was under no obligation to dance or help you clean up afterwards and was certainly under no obligation to get you a gift. As for tipping your party bus driver, that was your responsibility and you shouldn't have asked your BP to do it.

raes19

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_should-i-say-something?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:8f549442-7266-4d89-a95a-b5ad6c6f3ddaPost:4a35f7a6-0cbd-4989-a2b2-9d11e1af6a5d">Should I say something?</a>:
[QUOTE]My wedding was great. My reception was good, minus the fact I splurged on a DJ and NO ONE really danced. Half the people that said they were coming didnt.. blah blah. Straight to the point of the post. My MOH got us absolutely NOTHING. Zilch. Not even a stinkin card. She told me at the reception she had to wait til the 16th, but we had a falling out and didnt talk for about a week. (Nothing to do with the wedding, just boy drama with my husbands cousin who she just needs to leave alone) But we are fine now after talking it out. Should I say something? I'm not one to be rude, but Im curious if she is planning on anything. I spent well over 150 dollars on her. I bought her shoes and a really nice necklace for a BM gift. I just dont understand how she can talk it up so much, and then now nothing.   I feel bad because our groomsman gave us money, and yet we only spent a little on them because we got them personalized NFL flask, which they loved, but still. My girls didnt give us anything. One of them signed her name on one of our guy friends gifts, which I guess you would say she "gave" us something. LOL I'm just kind of disappointed with my MOH I guess. My wedding started 45 minutes late because SHE was supposed to do my hair, but she didnt even finish hers until 10 minutes before my hair and make up were done. (Thankfully my make up artist came prepared for hair as well.) It sucks looking back on my happy day and having that negativity around all night. She freaked out when she had to give a speech, because she "didnt know she had to do that". She danced maybe twice the whole night. She spent the majority of the night getting in on the latest drama with a guy friends new girlfriend. <strong>And when it came time for us to go out afterwards, we asked everyone to tip our party bus driver since the owner of the bar we were going to let us use it free (my honey works there sometimes). Her and my other BM that was of age are the only ones who didnt give anything. All we asked for was a 5 dollar tip from everyone.</strong> This really turned into a vent, but I had to let it out somewhere. Dont get me wrong my day was great, and once I saw my husband at the alter I forgot about everything and enjoyed myself. It was just the reflecting back on it that I realized how much she didnt do. Even during the clean up of the reception hall everyone but her helped pick up and load up. UGH. Thanks for reading this whole thing, but again the point of the post.. Should I say something?
Posted by SayLiLiG[/QUOTE]

No, you should not say anything. Even if she said she would give you something, she doesn't have to, and it would be incredibly rude for you to bring it up. Also, you should have spoken to her ahead of time about a speech. I would be put off if I was put on the spot like that and didn't have a chance to prepare.

As for the bolded part, you should not have asked your WP to tip the driver. That was rude of you to do.

jagore08

If you were to say something, how would you go about it?  "Hey friend, are you getting us a wedding present?  We haven't received anything from you yet so I thought I'd ask."  There's no polite way of asking someone for a gift.  

aerinpegadrak

So you're mad that she didn't:
- style your hair for free
- give a speech that she was under no obligation to give
- dance, which no guest is obligated to do
- spend her entire night focused on you instead of talking to other guests
- chip in for something you should have budgeted for
- buy you a present

Did I miss something?

By all means, ask her to cough up the cash.  But for all of our sakes, get it on video and post it on YouTube.  I'm sure her going off on you for being selfish and greedy and blaming her for your poor planning will go viral.

RamonaFlowers

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_should-i-say-something?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:8f549442-7266-4d89-a95a-b5ad6c6f3ddaPost:62dc231f-01ea-4147-ad8a-f0f333f630f9">Re: Should I say something?</a>:
[QUOTE]So you're mad that she didn't: - style your hair for free - give a speech that she was under no obligation to give - dance, which no guest is obligated to do - spend her entire night focused on you instead of talking to other guests - chip in for something you should have budgeted for - buy you a present Did I miss something? By all means, ask her to cough up the cash.  But for all of our sakes, get it on video and post it on YouTube.  I'm sure her going off on you for being selfish and greedy and blaming her for your poor planning will go viral.
Posted by aerinpegadrak[/QUOTE]

You forgot that she didn't help clean up after the reception. Because everybody knows it's the WP's responsibility to clean up after the party you chose to host <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-undecided.gif" border="0" alt="Undecided" title="Undecided" />

RebeccaB88

Yeah, you don't say anything at all.  Consider her gift to be the time and money and energy she put into getting herself to the wedding and standing up for you.  You can't expect anything beyond that.

The tip for the bus driver was your responsibility.  I wouldn't have chipped in for that either.  I think you need to reimburse those who did give a tip when you demanded they do so.

The hair thing is unfortunate, but you had a plan B that worked out, so let it go. 

I wouldn't have given a speech on that short notice either.  She deserved fair warning and the opportunity to decline to do it.

By the time the reception starts, your bridal party is 'off duty' and has no obiligation to you or your wedding any longer.  She doesn't have to dance, can talk to whomever she wants, or even leave if she so desires.  If she goes out looking for drama, it looks bad on her, not you.

It's no one's responsibility to clean up afterwards but yours, and if you don't want to do that, you hire someone.  None of the bridal party should have been required to stay and work.

aerinpegadrak

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_should-i-say-something?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:8f549442-7266-4d89-a95a-b5ad6c6f3ddaPost:55e2f8f4-ee12-458e-a4e1-8df8fe43b3a7">Re: Should I say something?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Should I say something? : You forgot that she didn't help clean up after the reception. Because everybody knows it's the WP's responsibility to clean up after the party you chose to host
Posted by RamonaFlowers[/QUOTE]

Drat.  I always forget something.

SayLiLiG

Wow. I really forget people are just rude on here. How about when the best man brought up the speech she freaked out. I told her she didnt have to, but she told me not to worry about she just wish she wouldve known ahead of time. I didnt tell her she had to, the best man asked what she was gonna say.

Doing my hair for free? Did I say that? No you assumed that. Good job.

I gripe about the dancing because she went on for months and months about how much she wanted to dance. Ever think of that?

I didnt want her focused on me the entire night! You read that wrong entirely. She spent the ENTIRE reception with this one person, she didnt talk to anyone else unless they specifically went to her. I had to beg her to stand for the bouquet toss.

And EXCUSE ME, the party bus was something that was given to us as a WEDDING GIFT. The driver was using his own time to drive us. We told everyone ahead of time if they wanted to ride to just tip the driver 5 bucks or more if you could/wanted. They were not required to take the bus. We tipped the driver 100 bucks on top of what the others gave. Just found it funny she and the other BM understood that we wanted anyone who rode to tip atleast 5, but yet they still got on the bus. I dont understand how a safe ride home and all that was asked of you was 5 bucks is freggin rude.

And its not even the gift, I wouldve just liked a card (which she said her SO was bringing, but he was extremely sick and couldnt come) I have yet to see it. I didnt say anything about a gift, but she said she was going to get us one.

Finally, NO she wasnt required to clean up, but dont come up to me after everything is already picked up and say "I wish you wouldve used me more. I feel like I did nothing as your MOH. You never asked me to the things MOH's are supposed to do" Yeah I didnt wanna bother her with things she wasnt required to do. But yet she wanted me to be a bridezilla? Her words not mine.

SayLiLiG

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_should-i-say-something?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:8f549442-7266-4d89-a95a-b5ad6c6f3ddaPost:5599aa77-8d73-4711-8020-0da98a16adc1">Re: Should I say something?</a>:
[QUOTE]The tip for the bus driver was your responsibility.  I wouldn't have chipped in for that either.  I think you need to reimburse those who did give a tip when you demanded they do so.
Posted by RebeccaB88[/QUOTE]

Reimburse people? Really? No. They had prior notice WAY before the day that MYSELF and MY HUBBY were taking it to an "after party" That no one was OBLIGATED to go too. We said we were going there after, and everyone who wanted to go was more than welcome to join us. If they wanted to ride the bus, then we just asked that they tip the driver a minimum 5 bucks. Five bucks is less than what it wouldve cost them in gas to get to this place.

SayLiLiG

Yall speak of these girls like they are people i paid to participate in my special day. These are my friends. Her being one of the best. How would you feel if your best friend did that? She expects me to be in her wedding someday and she has said herself that I was way too laid back, and that she would be way more demanding of me.

She says those things, but yet does what she did?

GoodLuckBear14

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_should-i-say-something?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:8f549442-7266-4d89-a95a-b5ad6c6f3ddaPost:69f407a3-4171-4f3e-a766-0c7301d46c9e">Re: Should I say something?</a>:
[QUOTE]Wow. I really forget people are just rude on here. How about when the best man brought up the speech she freaked out. I told her she didnt have to, but she told me not to worry about she just wish she wouldve known ahead of time. I didnt tell her she had to, the best man asked what she was gonna say. Doing my hair for free? Did I say that? No you assumed that. Good job. I gripe about the dancing because she went on for months and months about how much she wanted to dance. Ever think of that? I didnt want her focused on me the entire night! You read that wrong entirely. She spent the ENTIRE reception with this one person, she didnt talk to anyone else unless they specifically went to her. I had to beg her to stand for the bouquet toss. And EXCUSE ME, the party bus was something that was given to us as a WEDDING GIFT. The driver was using his own time to drive us. We told everyone ahead of time if they wanted to ride to just tip the driver 5 bucks or more if you could/wanted. They were not required to take the bus. We tipped the driver 100 bucks on top of what the others gave. Just found it funny she and the other BM understood that we wanted anyone who rode to tip atleast 5, but yet they still got on the bus. I dont understand how a safe ride home and all that was asked of you was 5 bucks is freggin rude. And its not even the gift, I wouldve just liked a card (which she said her SO was bringing, but he was extremely sick and couldnt come) I have yet to see it. I didnt say anything about a gift, but she said she was going to get us one. Finally, NO she wasnt required to clean up, but dont come up to me after everything is already picked up and say "I wish you wouldve used me more. I feel like I did nothing as your MOH. You never asked me to the things MOH's are supposed to do" Yeah I didnt wanna bother her with things she wasnt required to do. But yet she wanted me to be a bridezilla? Her words not mine.
Posted by SayLiLiG[/QUOTE]

We only have what you write to go on.  Even with your new information, my response is still the same.

aerinpegadrak

Sorry, must have left my crystal ball in my other computer bag.

Even if she was completely in the wrong and you were the most laid-back and accommodating bride EVAR (which I doubt, given your responses), there's still no possible way you can ask her if she's going to give you a gift/card/whatever while still sounding like a reasonable and rational human being.  If you really are so laid back, it'll be easy to let this one go.

Summer2011Bride

Yeesh. You're really mad someone didn't dance at your wedding? Honestly? Who cares if she said ahead of time she would; she obviously didn't feel like it at the time.

No one, I repeat NO ONE is obligated to give you a gift or card. Do most people do that? Sure. But many of our WP members did not give us anything since they had already spent a lot of money on attire, travel, as well as time to be there all day and the day before for the rehearsal. I really didn't care; that's not why I asked them to be in my WP. It also does not matter one bit what you spent on her; gifts should not be tit for tat.

As far as the limo/bus, you should never have asked your WP (who are also GUESTS at your wedding) to pay for your bus or tip anybody. Guests should never have to tip a vendor of yours, I don't care if you got it for free or as a gift yourselves. If you wanted to tip the driver, which is the polite thing to do, you and H cover that. You absolutely were in the wrong to require guests to tip if they wanted to ride, so I don't blame her one bit for not tipping.

You just need to let this all go and absolutely do NOT ask her for money for any of this or for a gift. You will look like a huge jerk if you do so.

ETA: I think it was crappy you begged her to get up for the bouquet toss. A lot of people hate them and aren't comfortable participating. Even if she's single, she is in no way obligated to participate, and I would hate if one of my friends made me get up and do it.

goobersinlove

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_should-i-say-something?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:8f549442-7266-4d89-a95a-b5ad6c6f3ddaPost:cdcc9d42-196a-47f4-a89e-c7e5b3895151">Re: Should I say something?</a>:
[QUOTE]Yall speak of these girls like they are people i paid to participate in my special day. These are my friends. Her being one of the best. How would you feel if your best friend did that? She expects me to be in her wedding someday and she has said herself that I was way too laid back, and that she would be way more demanding of me. She says those things, but yet does what she did?
Posted by SayLiLiG[/QUOTE]

They're your friends? Based on the way you are talking about them on here, sure doesn't seem like it.

Listen you came and posted on a public forum expecting responses. We're not going to validate you if we think you're out of line.

And I'm floored that you expected other people to tip the bus driver - the fact that you tipped additionally, gave them advance notice, and that they didn't have to go has absolutely no bearing on my opinion that what you did was super rude.

pearlaqua

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_should-i-say-something?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:8f549442-7266-4d89-a95a-b5ad6c6f3ddaPost:3179b470-266c-4f69-b814-0d5781dd9574">Re: Should I say something?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Should I say something? : Reimburse people? Really? No. They had prior notice WAY before the day that MYSELF and MY HUBBY were taking it to an "after party" That no one was OBLIGATED to go too. We said we were going there after, and everyone who wanted to go was more than welcome to join us. If they wanted to ride the bus, then we just asked that they tip the driver a minimum 5 bucks. <strong>Five bucks is less than what it wouldve cost them in gas to get to this place.</strong>
Posted by SayLiLiG[/QUOTE]

But they wouldn't have gone to that place if it weren't for your wedding.  Sorry, but you invited them to an event related to your wedding, since you received the ride for free, you should've paid the tip.

If someone gives you a camera as a gift, you don't charge people to take their picture with it (as in, use your gift).  You used your gift of a free ride, the tip was your responsibility.

irisheyezrsmilen

before you attack her for being a horrible friend, keep in mind ALL your guest, WP or not have 6months to a year to give a gift.  maybe money is tight RIGHT NOW and you will be surprised in a month or so

 but otherwise, sorry your wrong about everything you complained about.

ceceibson

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_should-i-say-something?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:8f549442-7266-4d89-a95a-b5ad6c6f3ddaPost:62dc231f-01ea-4147-ad8a-f0f333f630f9">Re: Should I say something?</a>:
[QUOTE]So you're mad that she didn't: - style your hair for free - give a speech that she was under no obligation to give - dance, which no guest is obligated to do - spend her entire night focused on you instead of talking to other guests - chip in for something you should have budgeted for - buy you a present Did I miss something? By all means, ask her to cough up the cash.  But for all of our sakes, get it on video and post it on YouTube.  I'm sure her going off on you for being selfish and greedy and blaming her for your poor planning will go viral.
Posted by aerinpegadrak[/QUOTE]

<div>Beautiful!  You put into words everything I was thinking as I read the OP.</div>

Ali092011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_should-i-say-something?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:8f549442-7266-4d89-a95a-b5ad6c6f3ddaPost:69f407a3-4171-4f3e-a766-0c7301d46c9e">Re: Should I say something?</a>:
[QUOTE]Wow. I really forget people are just rude on here. How about when the best man brought up the speech she freaked out. I told her she didnt have to, but she told me not to worry about she just wish she wouldve known ahead of time. I didnt tell her she had to, the best man asked what she was gonna say. Doing my hair for free? Did I say that? No you assumed that. Good job. <strong>1) I gripe about the dancing because she went on for months and months about how much she wanted to dance. Ever think of that?</strong> I didnt want her focused on me the entire night! You read that wrong entirely. She spent the ENTIRE reception with this one person, she didnt talk to anyone else unless they specifically went to her. <strong>2) I had to beg her to stand for the bouquet toss.</strong> And EXCUSE ME, <strong>3) the party bus was something that was given to us as a WEDDING GIFT. The driver was using his own time to drive us. We told everyone ahead of time if they wanted to ride to just tip the driver 5 bucks or more if you could/wanted.</strong> <strong>They were not required to take the bus.</strong> We tipped the driver 100 bucks on top of what the others gave. Just found it funny she and the other BM understood that we wanted anyone who rode to tip atleast 5, but yet they still got on the bus. I dont understand how a safe ride home and all that was asked of you was 5 bucks is freggin rude. <strong>4) And its not even the gift, I wouldve just liked a card (which she said her SO was bringing, but he was extremely sick and couldnt come) I have yet to see it.</strong> I didnt say anything about a gift, but she said she was going to get us one. Finally, NO she wasnt required to clean up, but dont come up to me after everything is already picked up and say "I wish you wouldve used me more. I feel like I did nothing as your MOH. You never asked me to the things MOH's are supposed to do" <strong>5) Yeah I didnt wanna bother her with things she wasnt required to do.</strong> But yet she wanted me to be a bridezilla? Her words not mine.
Posted by SayLiLiG[/QUOTE]

1) So, she changed her mind and decided she didn't feel like dancing after all. Ever think of that?

I don't care if she signed a contract in her own blood saying she wanted to dance at your wedding. She didn't end up wanting to. SO. WHAT.

2) Some people think the bouquet toss is lame. I would never try to force or beg anyone to participate. I'm sure no one noticed she wasn't there until you drew attention to it.

3) You're contradicting yourself right there. Do you not realize how ridiculous you sound? Someone gave you a "wedding gift" of a party bus. <em>You</em> felt guilty accepting this gift, so you asked your <em>guests</em> (WP or not, they are still your guests) to chip in to pay for it. No, they weren't required to take the bus, but I'm guessing your friend gave you the gift of the <em>bus</em> because he or she expected more people to use it than you and your husband.

4) Are you honestly saying you would feel much better if she went to Wal-Mart and grabbed you a cheesy card with a picture of a cake on it, signed her name, and handed it to you? Somehow I don't get the vibe from you that you feel it's the thought that counts.

5) But you're upset that she didn't do a bunch of stuff she wasn't required to do, i.e., dance, bouquet toss, socialize with more people than she wanted to, help clean up, pay someone a tip for <em>your gift</em> that you willingly accepted, and get you a card/gift.

purplebear17

I know you're in defensive mode now - but I just have to agree with the others that you are out of line.

Her wedding shoes are not a gift. You wanted her to look a certain way, so you were correct to buy them. You didn't have to buy her a pricey necklace, but you chose to. You have no right to hold that over her head, like she owes you something. Yes, it would be nice if she gave something, but she doesn't have to, especially if you have been fighting recently. I can relate. I am a BM for a friend, and she is driving me crazy with her demands. The last thing I feel like doing is buying her a gift right now. The time leading up to the wedding has been extremely stressful, and I don't have time or energy to get something in good faith. I will, after the the wedding, once our relationship is back on good terms. Maybe she is still not feeling good about your friendship, and something will be coming later. I know you said you've been fighting.

I am sorry the hair didn't work out. Seems inevitable that on the wedding day, things just go wrong. She was in the wedding too - I would expect she'd be too busy getting herself ready to do other people's hair and would have made other arrangements.

The speech issue I can also relate to. That's not "done" where I am from (only the best man speaks), and at a wedding in a different state I was also surprised that I was expected to make a speech. If she had a responsibility at the reception, it was your job to explictly tell her. The bouquet toss can be humilating for single ladies. I can't believe you'd force your friend out there. How embarrassing. It's not her job to make people dance either. You make it sound like no one danced because of her sitting with one person all night. How about you be a good hostess and encourage your guests to dance yourself?

The bus - ridiculous. Any wedding or post-wedding party expenses should have been covered by you and your husband. Like PP said, they were traveling because of your party. To ask $5 a piece just seems so petty, and cheap to me. You had a huge party, probably got tons of gifts, and you're worried about kicking in $5 for your MOH? Maybe she didn't have cash in her purse, maybe she forgot, whatever! The clean up also. If you needed help, hire some folks. Don't get pissy because your friend doesn't want to haul dirty plates in formalwear.

I understand that you see this as a whole group of disappointing events - she probably sees it in reverse (as a whole group of demands from you). She clearly had different expectations (as stated in the bridezilla conversation). If you had talked to her ahead of time and asked "hey, can you do x, can you help with y" politely, I might see your point, but clearly you expected these things with no warning or notice and then got angry when your MOH was not psychic. You're married, you said yourself it was a great day - do yourself a favor and try to get past this petty stuff before you ruin this friendship permanently

lpowers1118

I can't believe you are mature enough to be married.  This post screams selfish immaturity. 

Get a grip, you're wedding is over and if you say you don't really care about these things you need to let them go. 

JennyR01

OP, these girls obviously can't help you.  You ought to go to the Etiquette Board and see what they think.