Flower girl but no ring bearer

jll3j

I have my little cousin who is 4 years old being my flower girl,,but I have no ring bearer, so who carries the ring?

Suggestions?

Manwaithiel

Maid of Honor, Best Man, yourselves if you have pockets, the groom, etc. Anyone really.

graysquirrel

Usually the ring bearer only carries a plastic replica. The best man traditionally gives the ring to the groom. It is much safer to give it to him vs a preschooler. If you don't have a RB, don't sweat it. 

trix1223

It's very rare that a child carries the real rings anyway.  I'm a church organist, and don't think I've ever seen a kid with the bride's and groom's rings.

Generally the BM carries both rings, or the BM carries the bride's ring and the MOH carries the groom's ring until the point in the ceremony where the officiant takes them.

At DD's wedding, the BM held both rings.  I think at our son and DIL's ceremony, it was MOH and BM.  And I think that was the case at our wedding, although I have to say that I'm not 100% sure of that.  But since none of the 3 referenced weddings had child attendants, and we're all definitely married, it's pretty clear that you don't need an RB.

GL

[Deleted User]

Ditto the others. Except H wanted our RB to carry the real rings on the pillow. He didn't get the point of having a RB if he wasn't going to do anything. I was scared to death, but thank God, everything worked out just fine and the rings made it to the priest just fine. MIL must of tied them on pretty good.

lalap69

The RB's job is just to look cute anyway, not to really carry the rings.  In my experience, the BM carries the bride's ring on his pinky and the MOH carries the groom's ring on her thumb.  But as PP have said, pretty much anyone can do it any way.

bablingbrooke

RBs rarely carry the rings.  Traditionally the BM and MOH carry them, or the BM carries both (no pockets in most MOH outfits).

aerinpegadrak

We had no child attendants, the best man carried both rings.  Even if we'd had a ring bearer, I don't think he would have had the real rings.

Another option that I don't think has been brought up yet is having the officiant already have both rings, and he can just pull them out when it's time.

mbcdefg

Our Best Man held them.

Alternatively, you could always have your parents come forward and present them when it's time. I've never seen that in real life, but it seems like it'd be nice.

Soon2BeMrsTing

We had a flower girl and no ring bearer.

Best Man held the rings.

megk8oz

Best Man held both of our rings, and we did have a RB.

Like PP said, the RB rarely carries the real rings.

bablingbrooke

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_flower-girl-but-ring-bearer?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:8f69b3d9-6d36-4b0c-b5f1-2fc4a3944b5dPost:4d13e839-e344-4994-a009-c72ff69a9d13">Re: Flower girl but no ring bearer</a>:
[QUOTE]My fiance and I wanted to make sure we didn't randomly pick kids to be in the wedding just because it's tradition. We have a good friend that has a little girl that we plan on asking (she's 3 and will be great!), but we don't have a ring bearer that is 'of age' that we feel comfortable asking. Our nephew will be 15months when we get married and we would like to make him our 'honorary ring bearer'. We're going to put him in the program, but he won't actually go down the isle. Just our flower girl will walk. What do you think?
Posted by jennkell[/QUOTE]
I guess there's no harm in doing so, but I kind of have the reaction, "Why bother?"<div>
</div><div>A 15 month old won't appreciate an "honorary" title (he's a baby--he doesn't know what a wedding is or what a RB is), and while his parents will ooh and aah over it, they're probably just doing it to be polite.  Just have no RB (honorary or otherwise) and a FG instead.  </div>

trix1223

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_flower-girl-but-ring-bearer?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:8f69b3d9-6d36-4b0c-b5f1-2fc4a3944b5dPost:4d13e839-e344-4994-a009-c72ff69a9d13">Re: Flower girl but no ring bearer</a>:
[QUOTE]My fiance and I wanted to make sure we didn't randomly pick kids to be in the wedding just because it's tradition. We have a good friend that has a little girl that we plan on asking (she's 3 and will be great!), but we don't have a ring bearer that is 'of age' that we feel comfortable asking. Our nephew will be 15months when we get married and we would like to make him our 'honorary ring bearer'. We're going to put him in the program, but he won't actually go down the isle. Just our flower girl will walk. What do you think?
Posted by jennkell[/QUOTE]

Not a fan.  A RB is only in a wedding for the "Awwwwwwww, he's so cute" factor anyway.  And your nephew will be adorable even if someone doesn't carry him down the aisle.

My rule of thumb:  Unless someone can get themselves down the aisle under their own steam, AND use words to describe what their role is and why they're doing it, they're too young to be in a WP.

Frankly, I'd skip having him as a member of the WP.

aerinpegadrak

I'm just not sure who it's supposed to benefit.  I suppose if the parents are pushing to have their kid in the wedding it's a good compromise to have him in the program but not actually doing anything, but if the parents don't care, and the kid's too young to have any concept of what's going on, what's really gained by having him in the program?

tldh

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_flower-girl-but-ring-bearer?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:8f69b3d9-6d36-4b0c-b5f1-2fc4a3944b5dPost:da7dfa09-90ae-46f0-b463-43ec5c1ef8c5">Re: Flower girl but no ring bearer</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm just not sure who it's supposed to benefit.  I suppose if the parents are pushing to have their kid in the wedding it's a good compromise to have him in the program but not actually doing anything, but if the parents don't care, and the kid's too young to have any concept of what's going on, what's really gained by having him in the program?
Posted by aerinpegadrak[/QUOTE]

For the record, at 18 months I was the flower girl in my aunt's wedding.  I don't have a single memory of it but everyone else still remembers my diaper coming loose and me wiggling my little butt out of it before I just kept on going down the aisle.