Wedding party issues

jlbarbone

I have 2 younger brothers who I am not super close to, but my mom wants them to be in the wedding party.  I am sure that they could care less and probably would even take issue with any of the added responsibilities that go along with being in the wedding party. They are probably not expecting to be asked and if they were in it they would be standing on my side, which they may feel funny about.  I know I am probably thinking about this too much and I should just ask, but I don't want them to say yes just because they feel obligated and then be miserable when they have to go out to get tuxes, go to a rehersal, bachelor party and whatever else.  What do you think?

stina93446

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_wedding-party-issues?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:91263e2d-6070-4dfc-b910-3893b2082004Post:dbacc190-2b45-47e3-8954-4f36ec0e574b">Wedding party issues</a>:
[QUOTE]I have 2 younger brothers who I am not super close to, but my mom wants them to be in the wedding party.  I am sure that they could care less and probably would even take issue with any of the added responsibilities that go along with being in the wedding party. They are probably not expecting to be asked and if they were in it they would be standing on my side, which they may feel funny about.  I know I am probably thinking about this too much and I should just ask, but I don't want them to say yes just because they feel obligated and then be miserable when they have to go out to get tuxes, go to a rehersal, bachelor party and whatever else.  What do you think?
Posted by jlbarbone[/QUOTE]
It sounds like it's your mom that wants them in the wedding party more than you. But if you do, don't feel bad about what they "have to do." I am sure your brothers, even if they're not close to you, would love to stand up for you at your wedding. If you think they will be annoyed by having to rent a tux, offer to pay for it. They don't have to attend the B party and rehearsals are not that hard. How hard is it to walk down an aisle?! I would ask them if you want to or even ask them to do a reading, but don't feel pressured or obligated by your mom if you don't want to ask them.

duckie1905

My brother was not the WP.  It isn't really his thing and I've known this our entire adult lives.  He was perfectly happy to not be in the WP and had a great time.

With that being said, sometimes it is best to keep family peace when it comes to the WP.  My mom didn't care but if not asking them is going to cause more problems then asking them it might be worth it to at least ask.

mbcdefg

They don't HAVE to go to the bachelor party.

If you want to include them, just ask them if they want to be groomsmen (or your attendants) and leave it up to them. If they say yes, all they "have" to do is get the tuxes and be in the ceremony. Anything additional - bachelor party, whatever - the ball is in their court.

If you don't want to include them, then don't. Although I agree with Duckie that it might be worth keeping the peace to just ask them. And, hey, if they refuse, then your hands are clean.

suz62984

I think you should make them ushers. They could sit during the wedding but they would technically be in it. They probably wouldn't feel obligated by this and it would most likely make you mom happy. If she trys to guilt you into them being GM just tell her that you feel more comfortable with them as users.

golden1215

we arent having my only bro or his only sis in our WP- his mom made a comment about it once but I ignored it and she didnt have the balls to bring it up again.  Its our wedding, not our moms or siblings or anyone elses....

jlbarbone

Thank you ladies!  I think I will just ask them to avoid any drama, as some of you said, but maybe I will offer them the option of just being ushers if they would prefer that.  Then my mom can't get mad and they won't feel like they're being asked to do too much.  I appreciate the advice! )