Handling a semi complicated MOH

mckinnonliz

Well here I am with a small problem, my MOH who happens to be my best friend sense 1st grade, she's helped me plan my wedding sense day one. As we're coming down to the knitty griddy mainly anything that has to do with beauty she seems to have to "one up me" for instance, she wants to wear extensions keep in mind she already has long hair she also wants to wear fake eye lashes and go a little overthetop with her makeup to dramatic for a BM/MOH and she wants to get her nails done professionally. My thing with all of that is when she got married almost 2 years ago, that was all the complete opposite, I couldn't have extensions, fake eyelashes, and my makeup was very nutural and no nails whatsoever. Not that I minded any of that cause I didn't even want any of it....

The main reason of my post is how can I tell her that I dont want her to be over the top/competing with me without hurting her feelings.

Viczaesar

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_handling-a-semi-complicated-moh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:91a5ff3d-d06e-4eff-b134-a63764ef98fbPost:91ec0dde-26ae-4049-beb5-04d8d76883a5">Handling a semi complicated MOH</a>:
[QUOTE]Well here I am with a small problem, my MOH who happens to be my best friend sense 1st grade, she's helped me plan my wedding sense day one. As we're coming down to the knitty griddy mainly anything that has to do with beauty she seems to have to "one up me" for instance, she wants to wear extensions keep in mind she already has long hair she also wants to wear fake eye lashes and go a little overthetop with her makeup to dramatic for a BM/MOH and she wants to get her nails done professionally. My thing with all of that is when she got married almost 2 years ago, that was all the complete opposite, I couldn't have extensions, fake eyelashes, and my makeup was very nutural and no nails whatsoever. Not that I minded any of that cause I didn't even want any of it.... The main reason of my post is how can I tell her that I dont want her to be over the top/competing with me without hurting her feelings.
Posted by mckinnonliz[/QUOTE]
You don't.  Let her get dressed up for your wedding the way that feels comfortable for her.  She shouldn't have tried to dictate that for you, and two wrongs don't make a right.

jerzmom114

Agree...You cannot tell her what to wear other than the dress and shoes ( if you are paying). And honestly, fake lashes, fake nails  and hair extensions are really not that noticable and not a big deal. I wear all 3 of them to go out on a friday night! It is not as big a crisis as it may seem right now. Relax !

Maggie0829

Let it go.  She will not upstage you on your wedding day.  Her having extensions, fake eyelashes and professionally done nails (which my BM had two out of the three) will not make her the center of attention.  You will be the one wearing the big white dress and getting married that day, not her.

Maggie0829

Oh, and it is "since" not "sense".  Sorry that was bugging the hell out of me.

gurrlballa10

All of my BM except for one have long hair, which they all got professionally done along with their makeup, which included fake eyelashes (I paid, but did not dictate how they should look...they could also decline if they didn't want anything done).  I promise you that none of them competed with how I looked on my wedding day.  It will be fine and she will not take away from you on that day.

aerinpegadrak

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_handling-a-semi-complicated-moh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:91a5ff3d-d06e-4eff-b134-a63764ef98fbPost:b17e9345-bd7b-4bd8-ba90-90ffd7279b0f">Re: Handling a semi complicated MOH</a>:
[QUOTE]Oh, and it is "since" not "sense".  Sorry that was bugging the hell out of me.
Posted by Maggie0829[/QUOTE]
Also "nitty gritty."<div>
</div><div>I'd also let this go.  It doesn't sound like she's trying to do this to spite you, but that she has some hangups about her appearance and wants to look her best.  Yeah, she was a bit out of line to dictate what you could do at her wedding, but that doesn't make it right for you to turn around and treat her the same way.</div>

Summer2011Bride

Let her dress up how she wants. She shouldn't have dictated your appearance when she was the bride, but two wrongs don't make a right. Be the bigger person and just let her do what she wants in regards to beauty. You would be just as bad as her if you told her what she couldn't do.

LiLe422

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_handling-a-semi-complicated-moh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:91a5ff3d-d06e-4eff-b134-a63764ef98fbPost:91ec0dde-26ae-4049-beb5-04d8d76883a5">Handling a semi complicated MOH</a>:
[QUOTE]Well here I am with a small problem, my MOH who happens to be my best friend sense 1st grade, she's helped me plan my wedding sense day one. As we're coming down to the knitty griddy mainly anything that has to do with beauty she seems to have to "one up me" for instance, she wants to wear extensions keep in mind she already has long hair she also wants to wear fake eye lashes and go a little overthetop with her makeup to dramatic for a BM/MOH and she wants to get her nails done professionally. <strong>My thing with all of that is when she got married almost 2 years ago, that was all the complete opposite, I couldn't have extensions, fake eyelashes, and my makeup was very nutural and no nails whatsoever.</strong> Not that I minded any of that cause I didn't even want any of it.... The main reason of my post is how can I tell her that I dont want her to be over the top/competing with me without hurting her feelings.
Posted by mckinnonliz[/QUOTE]

That was wrong of her to dictate those things, and it sounds like you know that.  So why would you do the same thing to her?  Let her dress how she chooses. 

My ex-SIL was pissy with me on her wedding day bc the necklace I choose to wear was "too stunning."  (Sidenote:  I did not know she was upset about it until after the fact.  <em>If</em> I had known she was mad, I may have worn a different necklace).  I had no ill intention whatsoever by wearing the necklace.  My FI had just bought it for me, its gorgeous and wanted to wear it, dammit!  But I guarantee I did not up-stage her.

mckinnonliz

Ok, thank you everybody. And sorry for the miss spelling, it was late and I was just on a rant.