Bridesmaid

hwilli8

My wedding is 1 1/2 years away and we are just starting to make plans.  I would like to ask my co-worker to be a bridesmaid (we have been friends for the last 2 years).  However, within the last few months I got promoted and I am now her boss.  We have absolutely no problem at all dividing our friendship and work.  Does anyone have thoughts on adding a co-worker (now assistant) to be in the WP? 

saisongbird

You have a lot of time until your wedding.  Wait until November to ask her or the rest of your BMs.  In this case, your promotion is still relatively new and your work relationship may change.  I'd wait it out and see if your relationship changes.

CTGirl30

First of all, asking people isn't something you need to worry about for awhile. The general rule of thumb is to ask people 6-9 months prior to the wedding date. Why? There really isn't anything anyone needs to do (dresses, etc) before that time period and relationships can and do change...so it's often the girls who asked a year and half, 2 years out that then run into issues stemming from having jumped the gun and asking too early. There is absolutely no harm in waiting a little while - I promise. Nothing bad will come from that. 

If you're friends, you're friends. I'm not sure what being her boss has to do with her potentially being in your bridal party.  It's not like you'll be her boss outside of work - and bridesmaid isn't a job, it's an honor. So if this is a friend you'd love to have standing up there with you on your wedding day and can't imagine not having her with you during the ceremony, then ask her when the time is more appropriate (again, that 6-9 month mark).

hwilli8

Thanks everyone!  I appreciate the advice!

CTGirl30

Stage, true - you have good points there.

bablingbrooke

I would wait until you're less than a year out to make any decisions.  As stage pointed out, it gets really tricky when you're her boss.  Which is all the more reason to wait.  You need to see how your friendship changes now that you're her boss, or to see if it even survives at all.  Promotions can really change friendship dynamics and you'd hate to find yourself not wanting someone in the WP who is no longer your friend but who is also your staff.  

lharri12

This is why I only wanted my sister, my niece, and my best friend since grade school to be in my wedding party...

shelchristian

I am getting married and having a large wedding in July. I thought about the same thing as you have been doing about having a co-worker in your wedding; even if you have only known her two years.

I will give you some advice, take or leave it! DON"T DO IT!!! I almost did this and had my no longer friend as my seventh BM and thank God that I went against this. It in the long run was the best decsion I made. People over time, friends that is really show their true colors!

My other BM have been friends of mine for twenty, fifteen and ten years. They are all my best friends! To me this is the only way to go!!! 

Good luck on your decision!:)

The future Mrs. Chad Schaefer (4 and one half months to go) JULY 31ST, 2010

bablingbrooke

Shel, please take your FI's full name out of your siggy.  You never know what weirdos might lurk on here and you want to keep that kind of personal info safe.

beautifulrock

Bad Idea!  I had a small wedding party and asked my two girls way to early without a lot of thought.  My secong girl at the time was my boss that I had a relationship with outside of work first before working with her. The entire process of planning the wedding she was horrible about everything. The dress, the talk of planning, even the day of acted as if she couldn't care less.  I fought with myself about the thought of unasking her to be in the wedding, I decided against thinking that it would be tacky.  Let's just say that throught he course of 1 year after the wedding was said and done our relationship has dwindled to non existant.