Help Me Choose My Wedding Party's Table!

akasper16

The venue my wedding is going to be at normally has the head table on the stage.  SInce we are going to have a band, the band will be on the stage.  They told us that for WP's under 14 people, they normally put the head table right in front of the stage.  We have a WP of 16, so it's too big to go in front of the stage.  Our options are to have 2 big round tables in front of the stage or to have a large captains table in the middle of te dance floor, which would be disassembled after dinner.  (there would be additional tables for the WP after dinner, so if they wanted to sit down after dinner-they could).  My FI and I don't like the idea of sweetheart table, so that's out.

Here is a link to what my venue looks like: http://buffalovr.com/asbury/

Whic would you choose?

bablingbrooke

Keep in mind that ALL their dates/SOs must be seated with them. It's rude to separate couples.

Rethink the sweetheart table idea.  My DH and I were really resistant to it but we were talked into it by our DOC and we actually loved it.  We weren't the focal point all night, we got a steady stream of visitors, and it was the only time alone that DH and I got through the entire wedding reception--all 5 minutes of it!  For the number of people you have, I would go with it as the least stressful option.  Then the WP can take up a few tables immediately surrounding the sweetheart table.  Again, I know you said you didn't like the idea, but as someone who once felt that I way I can honestly say it really was a great fix.  

akasper16

I'd also like to add that we didn't ask anyone yet to be in the wedding besides our siblings (I know we are far away).  We are just anticipating having 16 because we know who we are planning on asking!

emilyinchile

Ditto Brooke on WP being seated with their SOs. If you don't like the sweetheart table idea, what about sitting with your parents/siblings/siblings' SOs/MOH, BM and their SOs depending on how many people that all adds up to? I wouldn't sit with part of the WP and not all of them unless it's just MOH and BM, and if you have such a large group (especially when you include the SOs) it might be easier to sit with your immediate families.

banana468

Are any of them in relationships?  Since your wedding is over a year away, don't even think about the head table arrangement now.  You'll need to sit the BP with their significant others but in the meantime, that's not something you need to worry about until you're close to the big day.

trix1223

Put this decision on the back burner for....well, a long time.  And as brooke said, rethink the idea of the sweetheart table.  Two of my kids have been married, and both had sweetheart tables.  They loved them, because it was the only time all night that they had a little time to themselves.

And DD didn't want to be front and center at a SH table so they put theirs in a corner of a long rectangular room.  The table DH and I hosted, and the table her in-laws hosted were on either side of them, and then the rest of the tables filled the room. 

They thought it was a perfect solution.

MyNameIsNot

In that case, I would say sit with your MOH, BM, and their dates.  Then disperse the rest of the WP out with their friends. 

I really dislike the idea of setting up on the dance floor and breaking down.  It's so production-y.

megk8oz

I think the other ladies have it right. Mainly, I would just like to reiterate this, though:

Please, if your WP has dates/SOs with them, let them sit with whomever that person is. Separating the WP from their date is so incredibly rude to both your WP and their guest. Some brides think separating WP from their dates in the name of a head table is OK, it really isn't. A wedding is a celebration of 2 people joining together, and the WP is supposed to consist of the "most important" people in the bride and groom's life ... it's extremely hypocritical to allow other guests to sit with their dates and not the "most important" people.

Also, the idea of tables being "broken down" in the middle of the reception only to provide the BP with tables elsewhere seems like just an unnecessary production. I mean, if there's going to be table elsewhere for them, just have them there in the first place. Your guests really do not need to see your WP eating dinner. If anybody actually takes pictures of people eating (Which, rarely happens), those pictures will not make it into the wedding album, I promise you this.

If you absolutely cannot stand the idea of a sweetheart table (Which why? They're great.), then I would suggest giving the BP their own tables from the get go, and just have either the Best Man and MOH with their dates, or both sets of parents sitting with you.

But, I would honestly reconsider the sweetheart table. I personally did one (I seated my BP where I would have seated them had we been throwing any other party: with people they knew and enjoyed being around. Everybody was very happy with this arrangement), and have no regrets. Not only do I speak from personal experience, but I know lots of woman that have done this and they feel the way I do. I don't know a single bride that's done the sweetheart table and looking back has said "We totally should have had a head table instead". On your wedding day, you and your FI are going to be pulled in 5 million different directions by 5 million different people. Having your own table gives you nice little moments where the 2 of you can be "alone" and bask in the joy of just getting married.  Just some food for thought.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

If you do not want to do a sweetheart table, you can sit with your MOH, BM and their dates, or you can sit with both sets of parents and/or siblings. You can have your BMs and their dates at one table and your GMs and their dates at a another (provided none are dating each other). Or just sit them all with people they know, which is what I am going to do.

mm45737

why in the world would you not want a sweetheart table?? it was the best. it was the only time we had to actually talk to each other for a few minutes. and then the people from our wedding party were from different groups of friends, so we just dispersed them amongst our other tables. 

just keep in mind, people usually prefer to sit w/ their SO's rather than sit on display at your head table. so if you DO end up doing a head table, please let people sit w/ their dates. good luck! 

akasper16

Thanks for the input...I know we still have  a lot of  time.  The venue just sent us a list of things to think about before we meet with them again and this was one of them.  I will talk to FI about the sweetheart table again.