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sister of FI or another friend as BM

mstar284mstar284 member
1000 Comments
in Wedding Party
I was thinking of asking my Bridal party now (we've all been friends for over 10 years, I doubt that will change by next year.) But I'm still having trouble because I want to include my FI sister...well, he definitely wants me to. That would leave one of my friends out. And if I chose her too, it would be 6 BM and 5 GM for him. I know people say it doesn't have to be evenly matched. But I'm weird about stuff like that and it would kind of mess up the whole order of the party since we have mutual friends that are couples that would be walking together....

Oh, and my FI strongly dislikes that one friend for some reason. He loves all my other friends, but finds her to be really ditsy and annoying.

what to do, what to do...

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Re: sister of FI or another friend as BM

  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Well, okay.  If a random number means more to you than people do, that's just fine.  But think about it this way:  suppose one of your GM needs an emergency appendectomy the day before your wedding, and can't be in it.

    Will it ruin your ceremony?  No.  So why will having uneven sides be a problem.

    Please don't let your FSIL and your friend know that symmetrical pictures means more to you than they do.  Because that's what you said here.

    Suggestion:  google "uneven WP's"  Look at the photos.  Are they less beautiful than symmetrical ones?
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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  • baystateapplebaystateapple member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Uneven WPs are okay.  Ask your FI's sister, and all of your friends.  It will be FINE.
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  • jagore08jagore08 member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Agreed with pp.  And if you're worried about it looking odd about them walking out have two girls with one guy.
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  • bablingbrookebablingbrooke member
    5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Don't let some arbitrary number dictate your sides.  Frankly it's kind of stupid to say you only "have" X number of spots.  No you don't.  People matter more than numbers.  Ask them both.  You won't regret uneven sides, but you'll probably regret leaving someone out.
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  • bablingbrookebablingbrooke member
    5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Frankly, if you think that the "unevenness" of the WP is enough to distract you and truly bother you, I'm not sure you have much business getting married because the point of a wedding is lost on you.  If you TRULY are that bothered by it.  But if you take a step back and realize it's kind of dumb to focus on that, you'll be fine.  Don't lose sight of what's really important here.
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    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

    A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
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  • gottahavashortigottahavashorti member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    It would probably look more symmetrical with one more person on your side anyhow, since you are in a big white dress while your FI's outfit essentially matches that of the GM.  But still, don't worry about even sides.

    Your FI can ask his sister to be a groomswoman.  There's no rule saying she has to be on your side if he's the one that wants her to be in the WP.
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  • mstar284mstar284 member
    1000 Comments
    Sorry, this is for me to organize my thoughts. I realize none of you know these people. But I agree! It's stupid to leave a friend out! I guess my main concern was who was escorting whom, and it might have messed up the order of the order of our groomsmen and bridesmaids. Which I know sounds stupid to you guys, but it has to be a certain combination and order based on the dynamics of all of our friends and family.

    Anyway...long story short. Problem solved. I will have six and he will have five. 

    Order:

    MOH- (my sister) & Best Man ( FI dad)
    FI sister & FI brother 
    my best friend & FI best friend
    Amy & Spencer (married, mutual friends of us)
    Stacey and Eric and other Amy--the one I wasn't going to include  (Eric will be escorting both lovely ladies) 

    Whew! I feel much better now.

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  • mstar284mstar284 member
    1000 Comments
    sorry for double post. Sometimes I need a kick in the ass from a 3rd party's perspective. Thanks guys. I would have regretted it COMPLETELY!

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  • bablingbrookebablingbrooke member
    5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Yay!  I love it when people opt to include rather than exclude :)

    Since you have over a year, don't worry about the processional/recessional.  We had one more BM than GM and we "resolved" it by having the GM stand up front with DH and the girls walked in one by one.  On the way out the last GM scooped up two BM (a job he specifically asked for, btw).  

    Don't overthink things.  This is 15 seconds we're talking about here.  Approach the wedding as what it is: something fun.  Not something stressful.
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    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

    A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
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  • mstar284mstar284 member
    1000 Comments
    LOL. Yup, that's who I am. My friends would be laughing at this whole thread right now. I am very detail oriented. I can be controlling. I am a perfectionist. But I am also a realist and am able to be flexible when my maticulous planning doesn't end up working.

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  • bablingbrookebablingbrooke member
    5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    And in the end I think that's the secret to success, in weddings and otherwise.  Best of luck :)
    Courtesy of megk8oz
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    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

    A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
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  • blackfire5thblackfire5th
    1000 Comments
    We had 2 more bm than gm, so two gm each escorted two bm.  Pics in bio.

    (The big stupid grins on their faces when they found out at the rehearsal were pretty priceless :P )
    My Grandparents on their wedding day.
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    bio
    Repeat this to your self: My Wedding Party is made of my family and friends and I should treat them as such.
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  • mstar284mstar284 member
    1000 Comments
    Yay! I'm so happy! This is working out perfectly!

    My friend just called me and asked if we [all my best friends and future BM] all wanted to get together for lunch some time this week. LIttle do they know that I will also be asking them to be in my wedding that day too. I know they will all be thrilled, and no one will be left out (like my other friends' weddings where some poor soul didn't get to be in it) My wedding will have all of us in it!

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  • mbcdefgmbcdefg member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    *thumbs up*
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  • anne.azanoanne.azano
    500 Comments
    we have asked 4 bridesmaids and 4 groomsmen, but one groomsmen may not be able to make it (coming from australia), so it's very possible we'll have uneven sides.  If that happens, we thought we'd have one bridemaid walk out with the flower girl.  That'll be very cute and solve the "problem" of uneven sides. 
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