Ways to involve Siblings...

alyssalowe

So between my fiance and I we have 5 siblings who have been with their significant others for a very long time and we are close to all of them, even though most are 1/2 siblings. My problems is I do not want an additional ten or even five people in the wedding party and do not want to have just a select few of them as it is rude in my views. SO. I need ideas of other ways to incorporate the sibling in the wedding so they dont feel left out. I would like at least stuff for the siblings to do/help/be involved and maybe even their significant others. HELP PLEASE!

Its one sister, and four brothers (and significant others)..

All I could think of is two boys be ushers, sister do a reading??, two (S.O) girls to be in charge of guest sign in and table seatings,.. then im stuck

mbcdefg

If you want to include just the five siblings as a bridesmaid and as groomsmen (or as mixed-gender attendants, so for example if any of the guys are your brothers they can stand on your side), that is fine. You don't need to include the significant others. It's not a faux-pas to do that. Just be sure you seat them together at the reception, and if you're having a rehearsal then you need to invite the SOs to the dinner.

Asking them to be ushers or do readings is fine.

Putting them to work, by having them stand by a guest book (which is silly because adults can figure out how to sign a book) or take charge of table seating, is NOT fine. That's work, not an honor. Putting people to work isn't honoring them. People would MUCH rather just relax and enjoy themselves as guests rather than be put to work. And being an invited guest to a wedding is a plenty big honor in itself.

CTGirl30

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_ways-involve-siblings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:98c54189-0407-4dc8-baf3-0baabcee4f58Post:c47d454a-118a-46eb-b411-fbfa154bb966">Ways to involve Siblings...</a>:
[QUOTE]So between my fiance and I we have 5 siblings who have been with their significant others for a very long time and we are close to all of them, even though most are 1/2 siblings. My problems is I do not want an additional ten or even five people in the wedding party and do not want to have just a select few of them as it is rude in my views. SO. I need ideas of other ways to incorporate the sibling in the wedding so they dont feel left out. I would like at least stuff for the siblings to do/help/be involved and maybe even their significant others. HELP PLEASE! Its one sister, and four brothers (and significant others).. All I could think of is two boys be ushers, sister do a reading??, two (S.O) girls to be in charge of guest sign in and table seatings,.. then im stuck
Posted by alyssalowe[/QUOTE]

Some things to consider....

1. Just because you choose to involve a sibling in your WP, it doesn't mean you have to find a way to include their SO. This would make for a very rapid expansion of any wedding party!  You do NOT have to ask the SOs of the siblings and they most likely do not expect to be asked - the WP is reserved for the nearest and dearest of the bride & groom.

2. Have your siblings (male or female) stand on your side and have FI's siblings (again, male or female) stand on his side. Gender doesn't matter - you could have a brother stand up for you on your side - he doesn't need to be on FI's side simply because he's male.  Also, your sides do not have to be even so please don't try to fill "slots" rather than have people where they make the most sense (i.e. FI's sister on his side because it's HIS sibling and not necessarily on your side just because she happens to be a female).

3. Ushers are fine...readings are fine...but "jobs" like guest book attendant are boring and crappy - not so much an honor. Think of the WP as a place of honor for your closest friends & family members and that might help you here. Standing by a guest book is not a way to honor anyone - it's busy work and it screams "I made this up b/c I felt like I had to stick you in here somewhere!"

4. Remember that guest to the wedding is an honor in and of itself.

lalap69

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_ways-involve-siblings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:98c54189-0407-4dc8-baf3-0baabcee4f58Post:c47d454a-118a-46eb-b411-fbfa154bb966">Ways to involve Siblings...</a>:
[QUOTE]So between my fiance and I we have 5 siblings who have been with their significant others for a very long time and we are close to all of them, even though most are 1/2 siblings. My problems is I do not want an additional ten or even five people in the wedding party and do not want to have just a select few of them as it is rude in my views. SO. I need ideas of other ways to incorporate the sibling in the wedding so they dont feel left out. I would like at least stuff for the siblings to do/help/be involved and maybe even their significant others. HELP PLEASE! Its one sister, and four brothers (and significant others).. All I could think of is two boys be ushers, sister do a reading??, two (S.O) girls to be in charge of guest sign in and table seatings,.. then im stuck
Posted by alyssalowe[/QUOTE]
Please don't ask anyone to attend to your guest book or escort cards.  I've done this.  It's not a fun job - and doing a job is no honour.

It's strange to me that you don't want to have your siblings in the wedding party even though you say that you're all very close.  Is there a reason you don't want them to be in the WP?

MyNameIsNot

If they are close to you two, they belong in the wedding party.  If they aren't close enough to be BMs and GMs, they can attend as guests.  You can ask them to perform readings or music at the ceremony.  

Crappy jobs like attending the guest book will not make them feel included or honored.

stina93446

Please do not ask/make your siblings or siblings' SOs have crap tastic "honors" like guest book attendant. It's not an honor. It's a job. While everyone's having a great time chatting it up and catching up pre ceremony, poor guest bookie is stuck with the pages and can't leave his or her post.

Not everyone NEEDS to be in the wedding. Why not just have them walk in the processional and have them sit in the front 2 rows? It's minimal, they're included and you can give all the ladies corsages and the men bouts. That way, you don't need to make jobs up, they get the honor of being a family member, and they get to smell good with flowers.

trix1223

SO's don't have to be included in WP.  They won't expect to be included in WP.  When my DH was in weddings of friends of his, I was just fine attending as a guest.

If you want your siblings in the WP, ask them.  Don't worry about symmetry.  That just doesn't matter.

If you don't want them in the WP, they can be ushers (although in my circle, GM typically double as ushers) or readers.  

Best choice if you don't want them in the WP:  guests.

bablingbrooke

The SOs don't have to be in the WP.  My BIL was BM and his wife wasn't in our WP; poor thing was trying to calm down their two-year-old so she missed most of the ceremony.  My sister was MOH and her BF was a guest.  But they absolutely sat together during the reception, which I think is the biggest qualm people have being SOs of people in the WP--they're separated for the ceremony (which everyone expects and is happy to do) and the reception (which there is no reason to do).