Fiance and I got engaged one year ago. Our wedding is this June. From the start, my mother and I made it very clear we wanted FMIL to be involved (she does interior design on the side and has decorated for many weddings, including her oldest son's) and that my mom and I had no clue what we were doing and wanted her input.
So a few months later FMIL informs me that her friend from work asked her to help plan and decorate for her daughter's wedding. I was a bit hurt by this, but figured FMIL can do what she wants, and assumed she would still be involved in planning my wedding to her son.
Then we enter the summer. This is a period of time where my mother and I have been meeting with florists, DJs, the pastor, dress shopping, etc.. FMIL can't participate in any of this, as she lives three hours away. She then complains to Fiance that she has not been included in the wedding planning. From then on, my mother and I try our hardest to keep her involved.
FMIL offers to make table runners for our reception, and as she is a seamstress, I also ask her to do the flower basket. Both of these jobs were "assigned" (so to speak) to her over six months ago. She hasn't touched either. I've tried a few times to say "hey let's look over patterns together" to which her response is usually "oh we can do that some other time." So I just accept that maybe she doesn't want to be involved in wedding planning.
Which brings me to the true conflict. Yesterday Fiance and I spent with his parents celebrating Fiance's birthday. On two different occasions, FMIL starts monologue-ing about this wedding she's helping to decorate and the style they chose and the flowers and how much she has to do.... and I've had it!
I'm so hurt by this whole situation. Both my mother and I have been trying non-stop to get her involved when there seems to be no interest, yet she seems all giddy and excited about the other wedding. Why, if she doesn't want to help, does she complain to Fiance that she's not involved?
I'm not sure what to do at this point. This whole issue feels like a slap in the face. I told Fiance I'm going to stop trying to get her involved, and if she complains to him, he can explain why.
I know she absolutely loves me, and we get along really well, so I don't understand why she has no ambition to do anything?
I guess I'm wondering how anyone else would feel about this situation, and what you would do in my place?