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Should have been MOH

Findlay and WilliamsFindlay and Williams
First Comment
in Wedding Party
So i wanted a close friend of mine to be one of my MOH, we considered each other to be each other's best friend (I don't anymore). Well now i don't think i want her in my wedding because I over heard her talking about me behind my back with another friend, but she doesn't know that I know that she was talking about me.....So what should I do?? I still talk to her but not as much I used to!!
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Re: Should have been MOH

  • bablingbrookebablingbrooke member
    5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    I think you need to stop acting like you're in high school and try to work out the problems in your friendship before you boot someone from the WP.  It's not a all uncommon for friendships to ebb and flow, especially a year or two after college or high school when you no longer have that tying you together.  But a knee-jerk "you're out of the WP" isn't the way to go.
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    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

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  • bablingbrookebablingbrooke member
    5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_should-moh-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:9f79f2de-92c3-4937-af41-66e5913033b4Post:d807fc9a-0ace-4e7d-83af-307be42c2bc8">Should have been MOH</a>:
    [QUOTE]So i wanted a close friend of mine to be one of my MOH, we considered each other to be each other's best friend (I don't anymore). Well now i don't think i want her in my wedding because I over heard her talking about me behind my back with another friend, but she doesn't know that I know that she was talking about me.....So what should I do?? I still talk to her but not as much I used to!!
    Posted by Findlay and Williams[/QUOTE]
    Courtesy of megk8oz
    image
    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

    A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
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  • Findlay and WilliamsFindlay and Williams
    First Comment
    Thnx bablingbrook.....but i think she is being fake with me i never really officially asked her to be my MOH, but we always talked about it.....so when this happened i started to think twice about her. Not to mention she was tlkn about my relationship!! 
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  • bablingbrookebablingbrooke member
    5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Is this one incident enough to end the friendship over?  Would you have done so if there was no wedding involved?
    Courtesy of megk8oz
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    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

    A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Stop acting 12 and call your friend and have a conversation with her.

    If you hear that she is talking about you behind your back, ask her about it.  If something else is bothering you, ask her about it.

    If you don't want to continue the friendship, man up and end it.  If you do, then figure out what you need to do to fix it.  This is about your friendship, not your wedding.  
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  • janedoe1113ajanedoe1113a member
    5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Sounds like high school drama to me.  How old are you?

    Try having an ADULT conversation with your friend.  Ask her why she would say something like that.

    If you still feel this is a friendship ending move, then kick her out of your wedding party. 
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  • mbcdefgmbcdefg member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    If it's all hearsay information, don't go around accusing her of something. Information may have gotten twisted along the grapevine. The "I heard you were talking crap behind my back so we're not friends anymore" thing is so middle school.

    If she's always been a good friend, and is suddenly talking shiit about you (supposedly), TALK to her about it. Obviously something's going on. People don't just turn into two-faces overnight.

    Unless she was ALWAYS a gossip. In which case, why'd you think she'd do it about everyone except you?
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  • bablingbrookebablingbrooke member
    5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Again, would this have been a friendship-ending move if there were no wedding involved?  If you just happened upon her talking about your relationship while you were dating, would you feel the same way?

    Also, if she completely changed, that's the cue for you to ask her what's going on.  I don't like people throwing away friendships now that a wedding is involved, because you need your friends just as much after you get married as you did before.  If she said something that offended you, don't just drop her as a friend.  As a 16-year-old I might have done that, but I definitely would not as a 26-year-old.  So talk to her.  Hash it out.  If you can't move past this, you can't move past this.  But you owe it to her and to yourself to try.
    Courtesy of megk8oz
    image
    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

    A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_should-moh-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:9f79f2de-92c3-4937-af41-66e5913033b4Post:725a1b0c-d169-4831-b276-f08829e0ddfa">Re: Should have been MOH</a>:
    [QUOTE]This was not hearsay I saw this with my own eyes(on accident).... felt really hurt about it and dnt really know how to approach her with it. But she just started acting weird after my engagement...we have always been good friends but its just not the same anymore
    Posted by Findlay and Williams[/QUOTE]

    <div>So talk to her!</div><div>
    </div><div>Why is this so foreign?</div>
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  • mbcdefgmbcdefg member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Talk to her, then.

    Either something's up in her life, or maybe you said/did something to upset her without knowing it.
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  • frogurt814frogurt814
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    This makes my head hurt.  Are we in high school?
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  • fyrefairiefyrefairie
    100 Comments
    "But she doesn't know that I know"...this is the problem in any troubled relationship...people get hurt angry sad and crazy over something they haven't bother to take the time to understand.So you "saw" it....maybe she was having a horrible day, maybe she is feeling down on herself for not being engaged and made a bad choice to be snarky...maybe she thinks you've been a wedding obsessed jerk lately and have no idea what's going on in her life or maybe she is a hag?  Who knows?  Not you because you haven't asked her.  If she is such a good friend who you have always pictured I should hope you could have a direct and honest conversaton with her....and I hope to God you have a stronger relationship wtih your FI for the sake of your upcoming union....Avoidant behavior never solves anything.
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  • hlq2011hlq2011
    1000 Comments
    edited October 2010
    You said things changed with her after you got engaged.  I don't want to say definitely that she's jealous, but it's a possibility.  It's also a possibility that you've gotten caught up in your wedding planning and she doesn't feel there's been any time for your friendship on non-wedding grounds.

    As PPs have said, talk to her.  See what's going on.  Maybe you've done something that hurt her that you're not aware of.  Maybe she just has some stuff going on in her life and you became the target.  You never know until you ask.
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