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Wedding Party
saya0001
member
New Name for Honorary Bridesmaids
I have a big family which means a big wedding party.. And not many friends are included in it. I have a few friends that I would like to feel special and set apart from being just a guest. I want these girls to wear a lighter shade from my bridesmaids, will be included in the program, I have made gifts for them, they are getting ready with us on the wedding day... And may even walk down the aisle their choice. I don't know what to call them though..
I don't like the term honorary bridesmaid... It seems like they are second choice, and they aren't.
My bridal party is already 13, and my fianc has no one else to ask. Any suggestions?
I don't like the term honorary bridesmaid... It seems like they are second choice, and they aren't.
My bridal party is already 13, and my fianc has no one else to ask. Any suggestions?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: New Name for Honorary Bridesmaids
2) A bridal party of 13 is absurd. Sorry, I can't.
3) There is no such thing as an honorary (or by any other name) bridesmaid. It WOULD be you telling them they are second best.
Leave your bridal party alone. I doubt they really want to be #14 anyway.
THIS! There's not any 'public' recognition that would make me feel more special to a friend on her wedding day more than the simple 'behind the scenes' type involvement you already plan on including them in.
[QUOTE]I have a big family which means a big wedding party.. And not many friends are included in it. I have a few friends that I would like to feel special and set apart from being just a guest. I want these girls to wear a lighter shade from my bridesmaids, will be included in the program, I have made gifts for them, they are getting ready with us on the wedding day... And may even walk down the aisle their choice. I don't know what to call them though.. I don't like the term honorary bridesmaid... It seems like they are second choice, and they aren't. My bridal party is already 13, and my fianc has no one else to ask. Any suggestions?
Posted by saya0001[/QUOTE]
Ditto Retread.
[QUOTE]I have a big family which means a big wedding party.. And not many friends are included in it. I have a few friends that I would like to feel special and set apart from being just a guest.<strong> I want these girls to wear a lighter shade from my bridesmaids</strong>, will be included in the program, I have made gifts for them, they are getting ready with us on the wedding day... And may even walk down the aisle their choice. I don't know what to call them though.. I don't like the term honorary bridesmaid... It seems like they are second choice, and they aren't. My bridal party is already 13, and my fianc has no one else to ask. Any suggestions?
Posted by saya0001[/QUOTE]
If you're forcing me to wear specific clothing, I damned well better be a bridesmaid.
[QUOTE]I personally was thinking of doing the same thing, but calling it my house party. I have read that some people use house parties to pass out programs, greet, etc. I don't necessarily want to do that. I can only have 5 bridesmaids. I have 10 people I want in the wedding party that all mean so much to me. The girls in my life are the type to completely understand that they aren't runner-ups, just that I really want them included and it's the only way in my situation. They will have their own dress (I choose color, they choose dress), be involved in everything the bridesmaids are, have their own row for seating- literally the only difference is their dress and where they sit. Anyway, some people may look down upon it, <strong>but it really depends on the girls you will be asking and whether or not they would be offended.</strong> Good luck!
Posted by TheFutureMrsCromer[/QUOTE]
No it doesn't. Poor ettiquite is poor ettiquite even if the people affected by it say it's fine.
[QUOTE]I personally was thinking of doing the same thing, but calling it my house party. I have read that <strong>some people use house parties to pass out programs</strong>, greet, etc. I don't necessarily want to do that. I can only have 5 bridesmaids. I have 10 people I want in the wedding party that all mean so much to me. The girls in my life are the type to completely understand that they aren't runner-ups, just that I really want them included and it's the only way in my situation. They will have their own dress (I choose color, they choose dress), be involved in everything the bridesmaids are, have their own row for seating- literally the only difference is their dress and where they sit. Anyway, some people may look down upon it, but it really depends on the girls you will be asking and whether or not they would be offended. Good luck!
Posted by TheFutureMrsCromer[/QUOTE]
<div>You shouldn't be "using" your friends for anything. </div><div>
</div><div>ETA: I'm sorry I can't leave this out...OP you are actually planning on having a VISUAL REPRESENTATION of how your "honorary BM" are less important than the "real" bridesmaids by having them wear the same color in a lighter shade? Really?</div>
[QUOTE]House party is a great way to include them! I understand your struggle and I have been an honorary part of several weddings where they had sisters as bridemaids or only had one bridesmaid and all the friends were able to get ready with the bride and helped at the reception. We loved being able to be a part of the wedding no matter how small of a role it was! If these woman really are great friends and love you, they won't get offended as most people above believe! Good luck!
Posted by AggieColey[/QUOTE]
But a bride can ask any friends to get ready with her and a friend can offer her assistance to a bride without the friend having a crappy title or being a BM.
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_new-name-for-honorary-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:a2bb86f9-624b-4a92-bc49-5e4fe9df1ebbPost:1893cf26-5c93-4cae-abd3-7f873d865936">Re: New Name for Honorary Bridesmaids</a>:
[QUOTE]I personally was thinking of doing the same thing, but calling it my house party. I have read that some people use house parties to pass out programs, greet, etc. I don't necessarily want to do that. I can only have 5 bridesmaids. I have 10 people I want in the wedding party that all mean so much to me. The girls in my life are the type to completely understand that they aren't runner-ups, just that I really want them included and it's the only way in my situation. They will have their own dress (I choose color, they choose dress), be involved in everything the bridesmaids are, have their own row for seating- literally the only difference is their dress and where they sit. Anyway, some people may look down upon it, but it really depends on the girls you will be asking and whether or not they would be offended. Good luck!
Posted by TheFutureMrsCromer[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]Wow, I see a lot of people saying not to do it.. I didn't ask that. I asked for another name. Let me explain a little more.. my bridesmaids are only family sisters, nieces, in laws NO FRIENDS. My friends know my situation and are okay with the term "honorary bridesmaid"... Whether it be bad etiquette or tacky.. And yes having them set in a lighter shade is to separate them from my family.. It was actually an "honorary bridesmaid's" idea. The lighter color are the people who I choose by friendship, not blood. And they are excited about getting their dresses... It's been a fun hunt that I've attended with each girl value ranging from 1570... So no complaints This post is because I am not okay with term "honorary bridesmaid". I am asking for other names, not your negative opinion. Thanks!
Posted by saya0001[/QUOTE]
<div>If you're telling them what to wear, they're in the wedding party, and that makes them bridesmaids. There is no other title that is not inherently insulting.</div>
[QUOTE]Wow, I see a lot of people saying not to do it.. I didn't ask that. I asked for another name.
This post is because I am not okay with term "honorary bridesmaid". I am asking for other names, not your negative opinion. Thanks!
Posted by saya0001[/QUOTE]
You must be a preschool teacher as you seem to believe you have the right to tell people what to say.
How 'bout calling them first class guests? That way every other guest won't have to know they are second class.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: New Name for Honorary Bridesmaids : Oh please, protect me? Call it what you want. And just because you and 10-20 people don't agree with me means I am wrong? I can EASILY find 40 people that say your wedding dress is horrible and those scarves on your bridesmaids are so UGLY... does that mean that I'm right then? Would you have changed it? I doubt it.. I know my friends and I know them well... YOU do NOT! Once again, like I said on my thread, if you didn't have helpful words then don't respond. And really WHY are you still on a wedding forum? It's been almost a year since your wedding.. maybe you should stop being a wedding junkie... yours is OVER, let people have theirs the way the want :)
Posted by saya0001[/QUOTE]
<div><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:12px;background-color:#ffffff;">You're right. I shouldn't be here. Having planned a wedding, I clearly have no advice to offer people who are currently planning their weddings. It's best to take advice from someone who has never done this before. When I get pregnant, I will be sure to know to ask advice only from people who have never had a baby since you have shown me that asking people who have already had an experience is not the way to go.</span></div>
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: New Name for Honorary Bridesmaids : Oh please, protect me? Call it what you want. And just because you and 10-20 people don't agree with me means I am wrong? I can EASILY find 40 people that say your wedding dress is horrible and those scarves on your bridesmaids are so UGLY... does that mean that I'm right then? Would you have changed it? I doubt it.. I know my friends and I know them well... YOU do NOT! Once again, like I said on my thread, if you didn't have helpful words then don't respond. And really WHY are you still on a wedding forum? It's been almost a year since your wedding.. maybe you should stop being a wedding junkie... yours is OVER, let people have theirs the way the want :)
Posted by saya0001[/QUOTE]
<div>1. If you are so confident about your friends being fine with this situation, why don't you just ask them what they want to be called? Why come here for advice?</div><div>
</div><div>2. Addie is the nicest reg you will find on these boards. She knows what she's talking about and attacking her is just mean and will get you nowhere.</div><div>
</div><div>3. Some people are thankful for the advice of women who have been through this before and made mistakes that we can learn from. If all the married women left it would be "the blind leading the blind" and that would be helpful for no one. </div>
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: New Name for Honorary Bridesmaids :Addie is the nicest reg you will find on these boards. She knows what she's talking about and attacking her is just mean and will get you nowhere.
Posted by Salsera29[/QUOTE]
<div>A<a href="http://www..thanks," rel="nofollow">www..thanks,</a> Salsera!</div>
1.) Less Important Person
2.) Second Class Citizen
3.) Pity Prize
4.) "um... who are you again?"
5.) Catty Underhanded Remark on Our Relationship
6.) Whatever, I don't Care Enough to Try
There, I answered your question. Aren't you excited? Also, lay off of Addie, for reals. You'll make all the regulars VERY interested in ALL of your posts if you keep being a bully to her.
Hugs and kisses!
guys, guys, relax. It's okay. Didn't you read her update? She's not telling these girls they're second rate bridesmaids. She's telling her bridesmaids that THEY'RE second rate; since clearly she wishes she could have her friends instead of her family. Because if she truly wanted them in addition to her family they wouldn't need separate titles or different dress colors.
Unless, you know, there's some rule that none of us have heard of that says cousins and friends can't wear the same dress color...
That smiley face at the end of your post makes everything rude you wrote SO much less rude:D
/sarcasm & sarcasm with smiley faces
You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.