For Those Who Were Bridesmaids....

ca_surfergirl

Poll: What was the best bridesmaid's gift you were given and why?

  

MyNameIsNot

The best thing I got as a BM was when my friend got me a GC so I could buy a top that I had been drooling over. 

I don't have the top anymore, but I still have the friend.  It was cool to see that even in the midst of wedding craziness, she still paid enough attention to me that she knew what I really wanted.

SarahPLiz

I didnt get a gift for being MOH but I don't care. I still love my friend. I didn't know I was supposed to get a gift and I would never expect one.

For being a BM, my friend knew I collected angels, so she found a cool candle from a home-town candle factory that had 4 angels, back to back aound the candle. Its one of my favorite angels in the collection.

gottahavashorti

I have only been a BM once and received earrings.  They did coordinate with our dresses and most of us wore them for the wedding.  The bride makes jewelry and they were simple but pretty handmade Swarovski crystal earrings.

fishieballerina

My bride paid for our hair, which was really nice. We had beautiful updos and it really made me feel special getting my hair done (I never get my hair done for myself). She also gave us personalized gift bags. Mine had a bunch of foot care stuff (she knows that I am always fussing about my feet). It was really nice because it was clear that she was taking time to focus on each of us individually to get the gifts.

This may sound strange, but the best gift I got for being in a wedding was when I was four. I was the flower girl and I got a little doll. I still have it on my shelf. It reminds me of being so happy that day.

I think little gifts that can be useful are nice (such as if a friend likes to bake get her some cookie cutters, or if she sews buy her some fabric that she would like).

blackfire5th

I know this isn't exactly what you are asking, but I shopped for my girls like it was their birthday.  One of my bm almost cried when she opened her gift because of how personal if was.  So this is probably the best bm gift she has recieved:

[IMG]http://tinyurl.com/yel8xe2[/IMG]

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

Almost none of these are actually gifts. It's nice to pay for hair/accomodations/travel/dresses, but none of that is necessary, unless you "require" it for your wedding. Nor could it be considered a BM "gift." Nor would a TY card be a gift.

I'm paying for my BM's dresses but never in a million years would I think that absolves me from buying them something else.

pooh8402

best gift I got was from my sister--a decorative cross that she chose specifically because it went with my house decor. I love it.

I think stuff that is personalized to each bridesmaid is best, because it shows that you're thinking of THEM and not of how they are helping you. no offense to anyone, really, but when I see people saying that their gift to their BMs is paying for something related to their wedding, I cringe. that doesn't really say, "thank you for being my friend and standing with me." it says to me, "here, let me make this favor that you're doing for me just a little bit easier." I don't consider those gifts.

rainedrop6

The best BM/MOH gift I ever got was also from my sister. She gave me a Tiffany necklace that matched a ring she had given me the previous christmas. I loved it and still wear both pieces often. The necklace was not intended for me to wear to the wedding but just because she knew I'd like it. 

banana468

My favorite gift was a pair of earrings.

That said, that doesn't meant that giving jewelry is the best gift.  Give based on the friend and her likes/interests.

IMO, hair and makeup or travel expenses aren't a gift unless you've come to that agreement with the friend.

deedeedor

I have been a BM twice and received a pearl necklace/earring set (her mom traveled to China often) for the first wedding, and an iPod shuffle for the other wedding.  Both brides gave all BMs the same gift, and all of us loved them.

I disagree with general sentiment on The Knot boards that you should make it a priority to personalize BM gifts.  If it's nice, thoughtful, and useful, they'll love it even if everyone gets the same thing.  I got my girls all the same stuff.  An orange shawl (our college's main color) and a make-up case with CTA stops on it, then stuffed it with a bunch of goodies from Sephora.  They loved everything.

It's a bridesmaid gift, not an engagement ring.  Don't drive yourself nuts.

emilykathleen511

I know I'm in the minority here, but if I was in a friend's wedding and they bought the dress, and paid for hair, makeup, jewelry, and shoes, I would be so freakin' thrilled to not have to pay for that stuff that I wouldn't dream of also receiving a gift! I know, I know, that stuff isn't a gift, but still, it would be more than enough for me...

pandasquishy

I was a bridesmaid once and the gift I got was a heart shaped trinket box with my first name and HER wedding date engraved on it.  I looked at it and in my head was like "WTF?"  Is this so I can remember to send her an anniversary card every year?  It's sitting on my dresser only because I have no idea WTF to do with it.  It's too small to even put anything in it.

So whatever you do, make sure it doesn't have your wedding date engraved on it!

lindseroo

LOL panda, that cracks me up.  I am a poor college student, so I definitely agree that I would be more than happy to just get wedding day things paid for.  It really depends on your wedding party.  If you think they'd go for it, then do it!  Otherwise maybe get something small to go along with it, if that's the path you want to take.

Sand322

One of my friends got all of her bridesmaides Pumas to change into at the reception and it was the best thing we could've asked for! It was so nice to change into such comfortable shoes and enjoy the rest of the evening! And it's a good quality gift, I still wear my Pumas and it's been almost 2 years since her wedding.

blackfire5th

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_those-were-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:a31c2c1f-3b0e-407c-9500-d3449e4b109aPost:f65238c0-6817-4884-bb66-cecc06f8e6c3">Re: For Those Who Were Bridesmaids....</a>:
[QUOTE]I have been a BM twice and received a pearl necklace/earring set (her mom traveled to China often) for the first wedding, and an iPod shuffle for the other wedding.  Both brides gave all BMs the same gift, and all of us loved them. I disagree with general sentiment on The Knot boards that you should make it a priority to personalize BM gifts.  If it's nice, thoughtful, and useful, they'll love it even if everyone gets the same thing.  I got my girls all the same stuff.  An orange shawl (our college's main color) and a make-up case with CTA stops on it, then stuffed it with a bunch of goodies from Sephora.  They loved everything. It's a bridesmaid gift, not an engagement ring.  Don't drive yourself nuts.
Posted by deedeedor[/QUOTE]

I think this quote is funny.  Guess what?  You did personlize your gifts!  No one has ever said that you can't get everyone the same tihng.  If you know everone will love it, then get them all the same thing.  You knew your girls would like that stuff, and that is why you got it.  If that isn't personalizing, I don't know what is.

Now I say that because not every girl would like that stuff.  I know if I got it or most of my bm got that, we would act like we loved it and then promptly get rid of everything.

momofayden

I voted other.  I was in my BF wedding from college and she gave me jewelry and a pair of fuzzy socks.  Based on some of the stuff I see on this board some people would have been really pissed.  But for me it was perfect.  We were both on really tight budgets so the jewelry helped out that i didn't have to buy any and the socks were totally me.  I love socks.  i still wear them 3 years later.

It's not about the gift, it's about being appreciated and the thought behind it.  You don't have to spend alot of money on someone to let them know they are appreciated.  i would buy them something practical and also something that they like and that is unique to them. 

RedGiant

The one time I was a bridesmaid I got a canvas tote/grocery bag (a useful gift, which I love) with moon pies and RC cola (a joke from high school), a t-shirt that said "Palindromes are Rasemordnilap!",  and a book "Be Amazing" both from mental_floss. (I'm a nerd, so I thoroughly enjoyed the book and shirt).  It was nice to get something that meant something to me and the bride, and hilighted some fond memories. 

lu27

My 3 gf's and I go to WI Dells together annually. It was 4 months from one of their weddings (we were all standing up) and she surprised us with spa treatments on our trip. Also, she gave us gift bags each with beach towels, seashell frames, sandals and a bottle of our favorite wine. (her wedding was beach themed) It was so thoughtful and we had a wonderful time together!  

katebh

I've gotten really nice clutches (dooney and burke and coach) for two weddings that I"ve been in. They are great and I use them all the time!

Backpackers

She gave us each a really cute Coach umbrella that matched her wedding colors, just in case it were to rain. I have an obsession with umbrellas so that was an awesome gift!

sms274

I have only ever gotten a gift that was for their wedding, a bracelet for one, and hair clip, bracelet, and pedicure for another. I still wear everyhtign I was given and the one came with a really nice thank you card. I didn't agree to be in their weddings for the gifts I did it because it meant something to them to have me in it and I wanted to be theri for my friend.

Items for the wedding are a nice gesture and a way to give them something of value as long as it isn't somethign they will obviously never wear again. I am giving my girls a whole basket of little stuff, stuff that represents me, them and our wedding. Plus an emergency bridesmaid kit with a card. I just hope that my girls don't complain about my giftsthe way some people on here have. (Which I know my girls won't) I just think that the girls who complain are missing the point of being in the wedding party. It's not for the gift, that woudl be like saying you are having a wedding so you can get gifts from your guests. It's a nice added bonus, but certainly not the reason to do it.

Although I will say that the jewelry box with your name and her date is kind of funny and I wouldnm't really want htat sitting around my house either

hildeedee

i've been a BM twice. the first time, my friend had a friend of theirs that made very nice jewelry make each of us a necklace to wear. it was a beautiful necklace and i'm sure cost a fortune. unfortunately, it has sat in my jewelry box since that day. the second wedding i was in, we had a spa day and got massages and our nails done and had a private room with food and wine and all hung out in between services. it was the most wonderful, relaxing, fun day and i loved it! we also were given some fun little things at the bridal luncheon...calendars, a mix CD, a jewelry holder, nothing extravagant, but a lot of fun and after the spa day, i was surprised to get even more stuff!

Sparkles1985

I got jewelry from Claire's for the wedding I was a BM in (to be worn in the wedding, of course).  The only problem was that it broke that morning when I put in on after less than 5 minutes.  Whatever.  The Bride was done getting her hair done and ran up to the mall to exchange it.  She got back, I put it on, and it broke again.  She said she would exchange it after the wedding, but never did.  So basically, I didn't get a gift.  Whatever.  It just sucked that I didn't have any jewelry to wear that day!

So I guess, basically, just make sure its not a cheap-o gift that is going to fall apart on your BMs within 5 mins of having/using it.  That doesn't make for much of a gift if the gift has to be returned, or is unusable (and not in the "I would never use it" sense, but the it can not be used because its busted, sense...)
 

mags0607

I have been in a few weddings, and the gifts have ranged pretty widely.

The first wedding I was in, my friend got us all necklaces to wear in the wedding and made each of us artwork to put in our apts. (she is wildly talented, so we all loved the things we were made). She also was a doll, and paid for our shoes/hair/makeup/nails. I was a broke college student at the time, so I loved it.

The next wedding, my friend got us all matching jewelry boxes with ballerinas on them. I never really understood that gift because 1) I am not a ballerina, and 2) neither is she.

My favorite however, was for my friend that I was MOH for. I threw her a shower and she got me a set of wine glasses that matched the set I was collecting. They had been discontinued and she went to a whole lot of trouble finding them. Then she gave me another gift for the wedding that was fantastic. I love Mignon Faget jewelry ( a local New Orleans Designer) and she got me the fleur-de-lis earnings. They weren't for the wedding but are one of my favorite pieces of jewelry.

jma1983

I have stood up in 3 weddings...for 2 of them I got necklaces and for 1 I got necklace and earrings/hair/makeup.  I loved every single one of them.

KimM0915

I've been in two weddings.  For one I got a bracelet and purse that matched the bridesmaid dresses that we bought, plus a notepad with my name on it, mascara and mints.  Honestly, none of it thrilled me (except the mascara, which I use daily!).  I would never use the purse or bracelet again and didn't know what to make of the notepad or mints, which weren't a flavor I liked.  For the other wedding, I got the same necklace as the bridesmaids, plus a ring for being the MOH.  We all wore the jewelry to the wedding, but it was nice stuff, nothing costumey, so I've wore it a lot since....

In general, I think personalized things that can be reused are very nice, but I also feel strongly that paying for things that are part of the wedding is not tacky.  I paid for my own hair, nails, dress, etc. for both of the weddings I've been in and never once felt like I should have expected otherwise even if they were "required."  I felt like that was part of the role and being involved in those things alongside the bride was part of what made it fun.  However, I would have loved having some of that covered for me as a gift, especially since I was in college/grad school for both weddings!

For my wedding, I've asked my bridesmaids flat out what they would like.  I know that money is tight for some of them, and would much rather pay for something than have them skip it to save money, but I also like buying gifts!

The bottom, in my opinion, is that conveying to your bridesmaids how much they mean to you and why you've chosen them and how grateful you are for their contributions to your life and your wedding is the most important thing.  The girl who gave me a cheap bracelet and ugly purse also wrote me a really nice card.  A few years down the line, I'll have forgotten the gifts, but will remember her words!