Wedding Party Seating question

KMSoprano

We plan to have a head table for the wedding party at our reception, with immediate family at round tables on either side. We have a total of twelve attendants, four of whom are family and will sit at the family tables.

Two of our groomsmen are married to very close friends that are not part of the wedding party, and our BM is engaged to another very close friend. Is it traditional to let them sit with their significant others at the head table, or would this more normaly be actual wedding party only? 

We are not married to (ha ha)  being perfectly traditional, but would like to have a gauge on what is the norm.

Thank you!

trix1223

I'd skip the head table unless you can seat all of your WP together with their dates.  Actually, head tables are pretty passe now.


What is more typical is a sweetheart table where you both can get a little (well needed) private time and your WP is then seated at other tables with their dates and friends/family.

At DD's wedding last July, she and our SIL sat at a sweetheart.  Each set of parents then hosted a table on either side of the sweetheart table.  Their WP sat at completely different tables. 

We had the same thing at our son and DIL's wedding.

emilykathleen511

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_wedding-party-seating-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:a57a97b7-d6c0-45e4-ba6c-c0a53c23c3d9Post:fe42e36e-e0ab-49d1-ba29-66a21c770421">Wedding Party Seating question</a>:
[QUOTE]We plan to have a head table for the wedding party at our reception, with immediate family at round tables on either side. We have a total of twelve attendants, four of whom are family and will sit at the family tables. Two of our groomsmen are married to very close friends that are not part of the wedding party, and our BM is engaged to another very close friend. Is it traditional to let them sit with their significant others at the head table, or would this more normaly be actual wedding party only?  We are not married to (ha ha)  being perfectly traditional, but would like to have a gauge on what is the norm. Thank you!
Posted by KMSoprano[/QUOTE]

<div>Whatever you do, please don't separate couples at an event celebrating couple-hood! Either seat all the SOs at the head table, or do as PP said and do a sweetheart table.</div>

mbcdefg

I've never heard a good reason to support splitting the wedding party up from their dates ... the only reasoning I've ever heard was, "Well, that's the way it's 'supposed' to be!" or "It looks nicer in pictures."

Also think of how practical that is ... why invite someone with a date only to forbid them from sitting together for dinner? What's the point of having the wedding party up on display ... as a wedding guest, do you honestly care who's at the head table? Do you spend your time eating and chatting with people at your own table, or are you staring at the head table all night? As a wedding party member, would you want to sit with your FI or would you want him at a completely different table?

We had four attendants, three of whom brought a date, so there were nine of us at the same table. We thought we'd be at the standard ten-person table like the other guests, but the hall set it up as one long table where we were all sitting on the same side like The Last Supper.

From left to right, the seating was: Bridesmaid, Best Man's Fiancee, Best Man, Me, DH, Maid of Honor, MOH's boyfriend, Groomsman, Groomsman's girlfriend. Everyone seemed to enjoy themselves and liked being able to sit next to their date. And of course, we all got up to dance and talk to other friends throughout the night.

banana468

Seat the WP w/ their significant others.

That can mean a head table, sweetheart table for you and other seats for the WP, a king table, or other options.  But no people should be split from their partners.

vtbd26

i feel the wedding party should sit with the bride and groom sitting at the head table is ment to be a oner for helping you plan the wedding if the wedding party has guest then the guest will have to wate till after dinner to spend time with the person thay came with . at the after party thare will be lots of time for them to spend to gether its the bride and grooms day rember you should not need your bf r gf that bad you cant sit 2 h with out them

banana468

[QUOTE]its the bride and grooms day [/QUOTE]

NO.  Once the couple involve others, it stops being THEIR day.

vtbd26, read a bit more on the subject.  It's highly rude to split up your WP from their significant others.  The reception is FOR them and they're OFF duty there. 

trix1223

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_wedding-party-seating-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:a57a97b7-d6c0-45e4-ba6c-c0a53c23c3d9Post:8e17d689-691e-44c7-9b75-f52ff5955def">Re: Wedding Party Seating question</a>:
[QUOTE]i feel the wedding party should sit with the bride and groom sitting at the head table is ment to be a oner for helping you plan the wedding if the wedding party has guest then the guest will have to wate till after dinner to spend time with the person thay came with . at the after party thare will be lots of time for them to spend to gether its the bride and grooms day rember you should not need your bf r gf that bad you cant sit 2 h with out them
Posted by vtbd26[/QUOTE]

Well, no.  The "duties" of a WP start and end with the ceremony.  Their ONLY duties are to wear the dress, walk down the aisle, stand respectfully during the ceremony, and smile for the pictures.

They DO NOT have any role in the reception, which is, essentially a party.

Further, a head table doesn't really mean that people ARE sitting with the WP.  They see only the people on either side of them if they're at a typical long, rectangular table on display in the front of the room.

vtbd:  you are completely wrong on this.  Don't be a bad friend and make your closest friends be separated at dinner.  It's just rude.  And unneccessary.  And old, old school.  It was a bad tradition in the 50's, and it's still bad 60 years later.

emilyinchile

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_wedding-party-seating-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:a57a97b7-d6c0-45e4-ba6c-c0a53c23c3d9Post:8e17d689-691e-44c7-9b75-f52ff5955def">Re: Wedding Party Seating question</a>:
[QUOTE]i feel the wedding party should sit with the bride and groom sitting at the head table is ment to be a oner for helping you plan the wedding if the wedding party has guest then the guest will have to wate till after dinner to spend time with the person thay came with . at the after party thare will be lots of time for them to spend to gether its the bride and grooms day rember you should not need your bf r gf that bad you cant sit 2 h with out them
Posted by vtbd26[/QUOTE]

I think it's probably for the best that this is almost unintelligible.

lalap69

Definitely seat your WP with their SO's.