Flower girls-changing dresses for the reception?

Dani0203

Ok, this is going to sound silly, I know it already, but please bear with me.

So our flower girls are going to be 22 months and 21 1/2 months old by the time our wedding comes around. I'm looking around for dresses for them, but would it be weird to change them into something less DRESSY for the reception into something more casual and comfortable? I have adorable pageant flower girl style dresses that I think I want for the ceremony and pictures, but I also LOVE tutu dresses. If you haven't seen them, they literally look like tutus that are whole dresses- layered, tulle fluffy dresses that look like little garden pixies. They are ADORABLE and would be very comfortable for the babies, but do you think it would be weird to change them into something else after the ceremony? I know if I leave my daughter (one of the girls) in any dressy dress for too long she gets uncomfrtoable and tries to take it off or pick at the details or just throws a fit.

So, do you think it matters? Do you think it's weird? Any thoughts, please be nice, I know it's a silly question!

bablingbrooke

I think if the girls are too young to wear the outfit for the whole wedding, they're probably too young to be FGs.  

gottahavashorti

I would ask the other girl's parents about the outfits.

For your daughter, is there anything she'd be willing to wear without a fuss for the ceremony?  I feel like a wedding with all eyes on her in a new location could make a toddler feel out of her element.  Combined with a dress she doesn't like, that could lead to bad behavior - which you probably don't want to deal with during the ceremony.

I don't see any issue with the outfit change though, particularly if it will be more comfortable for them.  The flower girls don't need to match for the reception, though.

blackfire5th

My aunt changed one of our flowers girls into a different dress for the reception because she knew that she would mess it up will all her dancing and she is using the dress again for her first communion.

DH Aunt left her daughter in the dress because she wasn't spinning on her butt (like my cousin) and had been very excited about wearing it.

If you do specify a second dress, you need to be the one to pay for it.

SarahPLiz

I think the only reason I would make them change is if they were changing into something you wouldnt mind them getting dirty (spinning on the floor with the strobe lights, eating, bumping into people holding drinks, sticking their fingers in the cake, etc.). I really don't think a tulle dress would fit that criteria.

stina93446

Both of those girls sound too young to be flower girls. I wouldn't even worry about the dresses since I doubt they'll make it down the aisle. Kids are unpredictable. Usually fgs and rbs are between 3-8....but even 3 is pushing it. Our 3 year old rb was all psyched to do it and as soon as he got to the ceremony site, he threw the pillow and it started blowing away in the wind.

laurenclaire1386

I'm all about people (even almost two year olds) pick their own clothes. If you think they'd be more comfortable in a different dress for the reception, then by all means, let them change. If they want to keep their pretty tutus or pagaent dresses on (I'm just remembering back to when I was three and I was a ham and loved to show off a good dress. Not much has changed then let them keep the ceremony dresses. Honestly, I'd leave it up to the little girls.

But ditto PPs on maybe they might be too young for FGs.

trix1223

ditto pps who said they're really too young to be an fg in the first place.  I'm of the opinion that unless someone can use words to explain what their role is in a wedding and why they are doing it, they are not old enough to have a part.

If it were my call, I'd dress the little girls in something cute, and let them sit with someone through the ceremony.  Then I'd be sure to have some lovely photos taken with them.

The single only function of fgs is cute anyway.  So skip the two dresses, which is overkill IMO, and let them be little kids at a party.

lyndausvi

Personally I think they are too young to be FG.

But to answer your question as a guest I doubt I would even notice let alone care.  If I did notice, because of their age I would assume the reason was an accident or something.

aerinpegadrak

Well, my sister's two-year-old ring bearer came to the reception in his jammies... because he puked all over his tux after the ceremony.

Food for thought, before you shell out for formalwear for an infant.

banana468

I have to agree with PPs.  I think they're just too young to be FGs.

However if you insist that they be FGs, keep them in one dress unless the parents want to change them into something else.  I wouldn't want to buy different attire for my child when she's probably not going to fit into it for very long at her age.

banana468

Well, the attire is actually for the reception and not for the wedding ceremony although you do need to dress appropriately for the ceremony as well.

The flower girls may not be old enough to even get down the aisle or be in the ceremony without a temper tantrum or other child-prone scene.  That's just the issue with them being FGs in the first place.   No, they don't have to "do" anything in particular except to get from point A to B...and that's asking the world of two girls at that young age.

However if you want them in the wedding, just make sure you have a plan in place should they act up and need to be removed.

Beyond that, a 2nd dress is OK if the parents are into it only.  It doesn't really matter if the dresses are inexpensive.  It's a procedure to dress a child and that may not be the procedure, time investment or financial investment that the other parents want.

aerinpegadrak

The problem is that kids at that age are too young to understand even simple instructions like "Go that way" or "Look over here."  The couple of weddings I've seen that include a child attendant that young, both times the kid didn't make it five minutes through the ceremony before they had to be taken out by someone else.

It's not like the kids are going to feel left out.  They're too young to know what's going on, and way too young to have any memories, distinct or otherwise, of the wedding.  I understand that you want to include them, but for many kids that age, even getting them into just one nice outfit and getting them to pose for pictures is an unrealistic expectation.  By far the most excruciating part of my sister's wedding was the unholy tantrum that the normally quite agreeable ring bearer threw when he had to put on his tux.

trix1223

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_flower-girls-changing-dresses-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:a81ff11a-0e99-4b72-96e8-61570f46e8afPost:dd62894f-9b6c-468d-bdd2-7becf6e3f2ac">Re: Flower girls-changing dresses for the reception?</a>:
[QUOTE]They are my daughter and my neice, who I watched the first year of her life full time and we are close with. It's not like flower girl's are supposed to do anything other than be visbile to the people at the wedding and take pictures, so it's a litte crazy to me to suggest they not be involved.
Posted by Dani0203[/QUOTE]

I'm a parent and an aunt.  I get that you love your daughter and niece beyond measure.  But that has nothing, NOTHING to do with them being in the WP.  They're not going to feel left out if they're not in it.  They're not going to feel included if they are.

So this isn't for them at all.  It's 100% for you.  And I'm going to tell you that on your wedding day, the last thing you're going to be thinking about is the level of "formality" of your FG dresses during the ceremony.  What exactly does that mean anyway:  the dress on a two year old won't be formal enough? 

See, there it is again:  the wedding industry making you believe that such a silly statement is actually worth worrying about.  Will you be less married if your dtr. and niece wear a "less formal" dress for the ceremony or a too formal dress for the reception?

Will your guests care at all about the level of formality of your FG dresses?  Will anyone make snide comments in the receiving line about the formality of your FG dresses?

You're so completely overthinking this.  Get the kids one dress and be done with it.  Because the other thing you're not going to want to do on your wedding day is to try to wrangle a kid into clothing, not once, but twice.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

I'm not sure how uncomfortable a dress for a 2 year old can be. FWIW, I wore a FG dress when I was 2 for the entire wedding. I got chocolate cake on it, but that wasn't a big deal to my parents.

Though honestly, by the end of the reception, you probably won't care if they end up in pajamas.