MOH and BM not able to be at wedding

ecribelin

I need assistance with the wording for my wedding program.
First issue, our best man will not be at the ceremony because he will be serving our country in the US Army in Kuwait.  His name is going to be in the program but is there wording I can put under his name stating what I have said above?

Second issue, My MOH passed away in April and I am not replacing her.  Should I put under neither her name in memory? in memorium? (On the back of my program is a poem about her)

Thank you all for your help!

mm45737

I would maybe put something on the back of the program about both of them. That way there's not too much going on underneath their names. I would just list them as BM and MOH and then on the back something about thanking BM for serving our country and thats why he cant be there and then a section that has an "in memory" of your MOH. 

By the way, I am SO sorry for your loss of your MOH!!!!!  = ( 

SarahPLiz

Hmmm. That's a hard one. Maybe for the BM, put Best man- Title First Name  Last Name, US Army, in absentia. People will get the idea that he is deployed.

FOr the MOH, If the poem is about her, then maybe in the listing of attendants, just lis her as " the late FirstName LastName"

I dunno. Im not so creative on these things.

irishxmyst

For BM, you probably could put his military branch and rank then where he is stationed (ie Capt. US Army; Stationed in Kuwait), or if you have room to write a sentence about him perhaps say, "As much as we wish (bm's name) could be here today, we are so lucky to count among our friends such a courageous/brave/(whatever adjective you want) soul, who is serving our country in Kuwait".

For MOH, I would just put "In memory of a loving friend" or something to that effect.

I am so sorry for your loss.

banana468

I think I'd list the BM as "honorary".

And perhaps the MOH can be listed as "in loving memory".

Annnek79

we are acknowledging my bridesmaids husband (my fiance's brother in law) in our prayer to the faithful like this- For Erik Anderson who is with us today in thought as he is serving our country in Afghanistan.  For our family memebers that have passed, we use the word spirit instead of thought.  I'm Catholic so it was easy to incorperate into our ceremony.  However if you not having the ceremony in a church you could always light a candle on either side of you in their honor and have your officient explain that at the begining of your ceremony.  If you are having other bridesmaids as they walk up you could have them light a candle and place a flower infront of it or even her photo. Maybe something similar for the BM.

psichick

did you know that he was going to be deployed? i only ask because we actually had a similar issue. the guy who my FI was going to ask to be his BM we had found out about a month before getting engaged that he was being deployed to Iraq. he is currently there now, and is scheduled to be back for the wedding. however we know that this can change. this is his second tour in Iraq and his last tour was extended for six months about three days before he was scheduled to come home (how horrible!). he understood why we could not include him in the wedding party, as he cannot control what the army does to him. it sucks though as we did want him to be a part of it.

since he's over there, i would just say something like "currently deployed protecting our country" or similar on the program, and be sure to mention it during the speeches.

for your MOH, first off i'm so sorry to hear about her passing. you can do a small memorial to her during the service, and again mention her during the speeches. don't go over board on this though, as you don't want it to turn into a memorial rather than a celebration. we too are walking a tight line on this one, doing memorials for my mother and my FI's father. as much as you want to honor her memory, remember that this is a happy day for you two and try to maintain it as such.

ecribelin

We had no idea he was even considering being deployed.  He randomly came out with it one day saying he had the option to go and he was thinking about it.  He is being shipped off the week before the wedding so its alittle bit much to handle.  Considering my MOH passed away and his BM is gone its going to be a hard day for us.