bridal party problems (LONG)

Kristeno2012

Ok so here it goes. I have been married once before I had my bff as my MOH because I didnt want to pick between my sisters. One of my sisters had a fit about that but again I wasnt ok picking between the two. Fast forward....I am not getting married again and my FI and I decided not to have siblings in the wedding my one sister and I always fight she found out I wasnt going to have her in the wedding and started threatening to not let me see my nephews and talking about how when no one does anything for me dont come to her crying. Mind you she has no job and has 2 babies so I wil have to pay for all of her stuff which we are already on a tight budget. My FI is close with one of his brothers but not the other and he decided the same thing not to have his in the wedding well everytime I turn around we are getting guilt trips and I feel like this is our day and it should be our choice. Are we wrong here or what? IDK what to do I feel so torn Even if I decided to change my mind and have my sisters after the way she treated me I have no desire to have her in the wedding at this point. I was discussing this with my FMIL and I could tell she was a little upset to PLEASE HELP. Any advice is welcome

Summer2011Bride

I think it's possible for you to not have siblings on your side but for H to have them on his side if he wants. You say he is close with one of his brothers. I don't think he should not ask siblings just because you aren't asking yours. He should get to pick his side independent of yours.

If you are concerned about picking between your sisters for MOH, that's a non-issue. You can ask them both and have two MOH's. I know you say you are having issues with one of your sisters, and I have no idea just how bad things are, but I would just ask yourself if down the road, if/when the relationship is repaired, will you regret not asking her to be in your WP? And will not asking her make your relationship even worse?

Kristeno2012

I agree he can choose whoever he wants but he doesnt want his siblings in the wedding he feels like the more people the more troubles I have been encouraging him to have both of them because even after everything I was thinking of still asking my sisters. I dont want to push him into having his brothers though if he really doesnt want to I just know that its going to cause us so many problems. I dont get why people cant just be supportive!

OliveOilsMom

You are well within your rights to not have your sisters be in your WP.  As well as FI can say no to his brothers.  What I would suggest is to stop talking about the WP with anyone other than your FI.  If someone brings it up just simply say: We have already decided on our WP, thank you.  And then change the subject.  Just keep repeating this until everyone stops bringing it up, they will get the hint eventually that the WP are set and not changing. 

Leenie10

OP, I sent you a PM.