MOH trouble-- Help!!

heymank

When I got engaged, I had my MOH picked out with no question about it.  However, ever since II asked her to be my MOH (she said yes) but has not been acting like a friend to me anymore.  She use to blow me off when ever we were suppose to hang out, and then we slowly stopped talking to each other as much.  I only see her once a month sometimes less than that and I talk to her once every other week.  It has became worse since she became engaged herself a couple months ago.  I still want her in my wedding party but I have other friends I would rather be my MOH at this point. . I don't know what I should do!  Any suggestions?   

Summer2011Bride

It sounds like maybe her getting engaged has taken up her time as of late, and I'm sure you can relate to be overly excited right when it happens. Honestly, this is a friendship issue, not an MOH or wedding one.

I would focus on mending the relationship with her first and foremost. Perhaps she has stuff going on in her life that you don't know about. I'd call her up and try to talk to her over the phone or in person. Let her know you're concerned because she has seemed distant lately. Ask if you can help or if anything is going on. Get the friendship sorted out first. Definitely don't "demote" her as MOH.

ETA: My MOH lived out of town so I only saw her once every few MONTHS and we communicated mainly via FB and text when work got busy. She was still a dear friend and in my wedding; it just got tough when we moved apart. Just the simple fact of not talking weekly or daily doesn't make her a bad friend.

loca4pook

I say this as an older bride...

Sometimes, the quality of a friendship cannot be determined by how often we talk to someone as much as it is about knowing you can call THAT person up in the middle of the night balling your eyes out and knowing that person is there for you. Do you still have THAT feeling for her? I think that is the more important question..

As we get older in life, the frequency of which we talk to our best friends shift due to the obligations of our life...It doesn't mean we don't still adore them and love them....We just get busy..which is why I asked the last question.

I have had the same BF since the first grade, however, we only talk every couple of weeks due to schedules...yet there isn't a doubt in my mind that I couldn't call her up in 5 am crying and she'd listen..

If you have THAT feeling, keep her as your MOH.........If you never had that feeling, she probably should have never been asked in the first place

heymank

RetreadBride, I don't talk to her about anything or see her anymore.

CMGr-- I agree but thats a little to late. . . 

loca4pook-- Thanks for the advice!-- I do feel like i could call her at 4 in the morning and she would listen. However, I feel like a friend should be reliable and she  has stood me up and ditched me several times over the last 3 months.