FI wants even sides...

cookiesandwine

Ok backstory... we just got engaged on Easter Sunday, and on Monday afternoon he had already asked 5 guys to be gm's!  We're not getting married until May 2011 and haven't acutally booked anything yet and, after reading posts here, I wanted to wait to ask my bm's until later this summer.

The issue of "even sides" came up because one of his friends is in the armed forces and obviously can't predict where he'll be next year, so we're not sure if there will be 4 or 5 on his side.  I am ok with just asking 4 girls and then possibly having two guys escort one girl but FI and my parents (who are paying) are pretty insistant that sides match.  How can I convince them it's not the end of the world? I would love to compromise but can't think of anything that doesn't involve back-ups (which I think is so rude!)  TIA for any advice

xoxob

You should calmly explain to your parents and FI how rude it would be to have a last minute addition to your WP.  Say, "This isn't the superbowl, there are no flippin' bench players, guys! These are our friends, not accessories!!"

saxy414

I remember someone saying a little while ago somewhere that with even sides it still looks uneven--because presumably the groom is dressed similarly to the GM, so the bride is the center who really stands out, and if you're really freaked out about sides looking even, you need an extra BM.  Which would be a ridiculous thing to do--you could explain it that way.  It's not going to be perfectly symmetrical anyway, so you might as well not worry about it and think of your WP as your best friends to stand up with you, not as props to accessorize your wedding. 

And yes, back-ups are really rude, so I think it's best that you ask who you want to ask and not worry about it.  Two GM walking one girl downt the aisle will look just fine, or you could have the GM up in the front to begin with so no one will notice the uneven-ness during the processional.  No matter what, none of your guests will really care (or even notice, probably) that it's uneven to begin with, and I think your parents and FI are way overthinking this.

trix1223

Send them here.  We'll explain it to them. 

aerinpegadrak

Just tell them you'll post an ad on Craigslist to fill the extra slot if necessary, and then bean dip the hell out of them.

banana468

Just say, "Honey, would you rather be surrounded by even #s, or by the people we love the most?"

suz62984

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_fi-wants-even-sides?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:aeb67970-6c00-4207-9ddc-2775e43e3cc3Post:6471494a-9ba8-4c97-864e-3e349b0cad37">Re: FI wants even sides...</a>:
[QUOTE]Just tell them you'll post an ad on Craigslist to fill the extra slot if necessary, and then bean dip the hell out of them.
Posted by aerinpegadrak[/QUOTE]

LMAO.

I'd tell them not to worry about it and that I'll take care of it...then i'd ask whom ever I wanted. You can always tell you FI to drop someone and see how he feels about that(jokingly of course).

megk8oz

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_fi-wants-even-sides?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:aeb67970-6c00-4207-9ddc-2775e43e3cc3Post:aa9c5834-cdc5-4f84-8dd5-b21784f67d1d">Re: FI wants even sides...</a>:
[QUOTE]You should calmly explain to your parents and FI how rude it would be to have a last minute addition to your WP.  Say, "This isn't the superbowl, there are no flippin' bench players, guys! These are our friends, not accessories!!"
Posted by xoxob[/QUOTE]

This exactly.

Xoxo, I love you more and more every day.

megk8oz

FWIW, there was a last minute possibility of our Best Man dropping out (Like 3 days before the wedding last minute) ... mainly because he's an idiot (Long story).

Our sides where even at that point (Just worked out that way, we didn't try for it), but when my mom heard that he might not show, she completely flipped out saying I needed to find a back up guy, like, that night. She actually asked me if I knew somebody who was the Best Man's size.

I told her point blank "Wedding's in 3 days. I'm not finding a new guy. I'm finding another glass of wine", and then I hung up.

gottahavashorti

"Hold on, let me call the courthouse to see if they're willing to process our marriage license if we have uneven sides."  If they persist, pick up the phone and call and ask.

cookiesandwine

thanks ladies!  a glass of wine sounds pretty nice right now!!! 

wcvsb3b5

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_fi-wants-even-sides?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:aeb67970-6c00-4207-9ddc-2775e43e3cc3Post:53e7c544-8f09-48f7-9174-637e86433e6b">Re: FI wants even sides...</a>:
[QUOTE]"Hold on, let me call the courthouse to see if they're willing to process our marriage license if we have uneven sides."  If they persist, pick up the phone and call and ask.
Posted by gottahavashorti[/QUOTE]

I vote this!