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Bridesmaid dress DRAMA

My FSIL is driving me NUTS about the BM dresses! I'm not having a MOH and am instead having 4 BM's: my FSIL, 2 cousins/friends, and another friend. I found the dresses at Nordstrom and immediately went on their website and sent the link to all the girls. They were all voted yes and loved that it's a wear-again style (Adrianna Papell Day), pretty color (navy), and on sale ($64!). So everyone ordered them and I ordered my FSIL's in the size *she asked for* and paid upfront for it since she has been low on cash.
Well.... now she says the dress is "too snug" and it'll "never happen," even though it's only a size at most too small.I told her that I got a hold of extra fabric in case we have to do any alterations. While she agreed to my face, she also told me "Well, your colors are navy, purple, and pink, so instead of navy I saw this pink/purple dress at JCPenney that I was thinking about..." Ok, REALLY?? I politely told her I'd prefer to keep the dress as is for now, and if alterations aren't possible then we'll go from there.
She also has been blasting my choice to everyone but me (including my FMIL) that I'm making them all wear this ugly, horrible dress that doesn't fit any of them (even though I asked the other 3 BM's and they all like it, correct size and all). She's even trying to rally up the other 3 BM's to pick a replacement dress!
What should I do...? She has a history of being difficult and attention-craving. Should I ignore her, should I confront her?

Re: Bridesmaid dress DRAMA

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    Ignore her to a point.  Since your other 3 BM's are going along with your plan, there is no need to bend for her, especialyl since she is clearly being unreasonable.  I would treat her as though she never made those comments at all.  Simply  continue on in your wedding planning and make things happen, if she's being difficult, she'll end up looking the fouler. 

    Best of luck!
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    edited September 2010
    Yes, just ignore her. If she says anything to your face, or in front of others, just calmly say "I'm sorry that you feel this way. I wish you would have said so in the beginning. I asked if you liked the dress and you said you did. Now the dresses have been decided upon and purchased. We will not be replacing them. Thank you for respecting my wishes."

    Please don't consider changing your colors/dresses just for her. You said she is trying to get the other girls to switch dresses too? How do they feel about this? Do they think she is crazy or are they considering this?

    I will say that you choose your dresses freakishly early. One of your BMs could get preggers and won't fit in the dress. Someone could lose or gain tons of weight and not fit. You are just going to have to go with the flow but be prepared to give in if everyone starts needing different dresses.
    Anniversary
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    bablingbrookebablingbrooke member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited September 2010
    It's up to her to find something that works, so extract yourself from the situation.  Just say, "this is the dress we all agreed on, so in fairness to everyone else, I'd ask that you get it altered so it fits."  Then entertain no further conversations about BM dresses.  If she shows up in a sparkly pink/purple number, it's up to you then to decide if it's more important to have her up there with you no matter how ridiculous she looks, or if you want her to sit out.  But fighting her over this is what she wants, because it brings her attention and thinks makes her seem sympathetic, so don't give it to her. 
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaid-dress-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:b4292532-639f-4352-8638-1ca3e2d4a180Post:dd9ceea7-a5db-4b43-8ec1-9fa99e4ccdc1">Bridesmaid dress DRAMA</a>:
    [QUOTE]My FSIL is driving me NUTS about the BM dresses! I'm not having a MOH and am instead having 4 BM's: my FSIL, 2 cousins/friends, and another friend. I found the dresses at Nordstrom and immediately went on their website and sent the link to all the girls. They were all voted yes and loved that it's a wear-again style (Adrianna Papell Day), pretty color (navy), and on sale ($64!). So everyone ordered them and I ordered my FSIL's in the size *she asked for* and paid upfront for it since she has been low on cash. Well.... now she says the dress is "too snug" and it'll "never happen," even though it's only a size at most too small.I told her that I got a hold of extra fabric in case we have to do any alterations. While she agreed to my face, she also told me "Well, your colors are navy, purple, and pink, so instead of navy I saw this pink/purple dress at JCPenney that I was thinking about..." Ok, REALLY?? I politely told her I'd prefer to keep the dress as is for now, and if alterations aren't possible then we'll go from there. She also has been blasting my choice to everyone but me (including my FMIL) that I'm making them all wear this ugly, horrible dress that doesn't fit any of them (even though I asked the other 3 BM's and they all like it, correct size and all). She's even trying to rally up the other 3 BM's to pick a replacement dress! What should I do...? She has a history of being difficult and <strong>attention-craving</strong>. Should I ignore her, should I confront her?
    Posted by lara9143[/QUOTE]

    She wants attention. Ignore her and try not to let her upset you. Just continue on the path of polite but firm, and if you really can't make the dress fit then consider an alternative.
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    You've done all you can do by asking them all their opinions and getting their positive feedback on the dress.  It sounds like she's just being difficult.  I'd give her the extra fabric and a number for a tailor and then leave it up to her to do the rest.  Hopefully she'll get the message that you're not budging on this.
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    Nordstrom is typically great with exchanges...is it possible to exchange the dress for a larger size?
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    Unfortunately wegsmom, the dress style only goes up to a size 14 (what was ordered), my first step was toI try to find a larger size and when I couldn't I just bought extra fabric.
    suz62984, my other BM's are the ones who came to me with this because they are upset that she keeps trying to get them to change. One told me, "If you want us to change dresses I will, but if it's just her opinion then why won't she drop it?" The BM even pulled the other 3 aside at the engagement party, trying to get them to confront me. :(
    You're right, I actually wish I had waited until later to buy them because of the potential fitting issues, but our wedding date was originally set for February 2011 and now it's been pushed back to November 2011. Fingers crossed there are no unfixable issues!
    Thanks for all the advice! :)
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    Does your FSIL normally wear a 14, or a larger size?  Did you have the girls try on the dresses to see if they would actually fit all of them before telling them to buy?



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