Forget it

susuq33

This is why I've never posted on here.

frogurt814

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaid-ettiquete?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:b4c678ca-6013-4724-8844-ae71615f307ePost:61fedbfd-0dfe-4d97-8ca1-0a7d220ec598">Bridesmaid Ettiquette</a>:
[QUOTE]I have seven bridesmaids...I think. One of my bridesmaids and I had a small falling out a few weeks ago--though I thought it had since been resolved. She was my roommate, of about six months--though I haven't even known her very long. (Let this be a warning as to who you choose to be a bridesmaid. If you doubt it, don't do it). She happens to be the girlfriend of one of my fiance's groomsmen, and we had gotten close while the two of them had been dating so we decided to become roommates when my other roommate (also a bridesmaid) got married and moved out. Anyway, I quickly found out that she hated my cat, whom she endearingly referred to as "your animal," and while I can easily admit that he's no angel, he's never really done anything to her or her things to warrant such an extreme amount of hatred. So this became a great source of contention. She also blamed me for moving out and breaking the lease on her when my fiance and I bought a house, though I talked to her throughout all of it, making sure that she was okay and had a roommate lined up and was going to be fine. I even gave her many of my own things to help her stay on her feet when I left. I even paid the last month of rent, water, and electricity without even staying in the apartment because she wanted me out as soon as possible because Christmas would be coming up. She's Jewish. Anyway, to make a long story short: she is now talking to her boyfriend (not me) about whether she is still in the wedding or not. Her boyfriend is consequently talking to my fiance about it, and I'm like: if you don't want to be in the wedding, you need to talk to me. I know well enough to not unask her, as much as I am regretting ever asking her in the first place. She is passive aggressive, unreasonable, and has lied or stood me up numerous occasions when I have counted on her word. I know I can't avoid her because her boyfriend is my fiance's close friend, but I'm also not sure how to handle this situation either. Right now I am just waiting for her to make the first move, and I'm playing like I know nothing.<strong> Should I do any more?</strong>
Posted by susuq33[/QUOTE]
No. Don't go to her and say "so and so said this and that, and if you don't want to be a BM then you can drop out."

If she wants to drop out, she needs to come to you and tell you that.  That is up to her. 

bablingbrooke

What is with the defensiveness?  I guess you answered my question with a big fat YES.

frogurt814

?  I really didn't think my advice, or Brooke's for that matter, were deserving of such a quick DD.

Manwaithiel

The only being unreasonable here is you.

susuq33

Right. It wasn't just the cat thing. I'm not that crazy. I just don't have a lot of time to get into details. She's scoffed when I mentioned how upset I am that my mom (who passed away not too long ago) won't be there and that my dad is disowning me for my choice of husband simply because he's another faith.

mkrupar

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaid-ettiquete?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:b4c678ca-6013-4724-8844-ae71615f307ePost:2170f560-9882-4f82-8bf9-a98091b32bc1">Re: Forget it</a>:
[QUOTE]Right. It wasn't just the cat thing. I'm not that crazy. I just don't have a lot of time to get into details. She's scoffed when I mentioned how upset I am that my mom (who passed away not too long ago) won't be there and that my dad is disowning me for my choice of husband simply because he's another faith.
Posted by susuq33[/QUOTE]

You wrote a long a** post and that was just skimming the details? Like PP's said, we can only respond to what you post. Neither Brooke's nor Frogurt's advice warrented a DD. You were quoted anyway so DDing doesn't really do you any good.

mbcdefg

If all these little details were so important, then you would've posted them in the first place.

Otherwise, people can't read your mind. Either tell us the real story (and accept whatever you might get), or post whatever you want and then accept the fact that everyone might not agree with you.

And a quick delete, followed by "You don't know me and you don't know the whole story," pretty much confirms for us that you know you're in the wrong. It happens here all the time. You're not unique or special and neither is your situation.

bablingbrooke

No one called her a bad person!  

lalap69

I feel like the DD was a huge over-reaction.

No, there's nothing more for you to do.  Just wait and see how it plays out.  Either she'll be a BM or she won't.  It sounds like it won't really matter either way.