Best Man issue

angieandjames

I know it's not my place to decide, so I'm just getting some advice here.

My fiance has already decided who his groomsmen will be, but he hasn't asked any of them yet.  (Engaged 2/11, wedding 11/6)  He is waiting because he can't decide who will be his best man, and wants to decide before he asks anyone...  So on to the advice part. 

Two groomsmen are his brothers - J is same age, B is about 5 years older.  He's always been close to the same-age brother, but has gotten really close to the older brother in the last few years.  I('m a little nervous about picking one and hurting the other one's feelings.)

One groomsman, C, has been his very close friend since at least middle school, and he even lived with him for a year or so during high school.

One groomsman, M, he has been friends with since high school (so ~10 years), and lived with for a year or so during college... still good friends, but we live several hours away from him, so they've drifted apart somewhat...

The last groomsman, G, he has been friends with for 5 or so years.  They were roommates for most of college, and they are probably closest of the three friends.

Any thoughts on the issue??

gottahavashorti

Having one be best man and the rest groomsman isn't his only option.  He can have 2 best men or they can all be groomsmen, if either of those options helps him in making a decision.

angieandjames

He has brought it up a couple times asking for advice, and I have been stumped on what to tell him... so I thought I'd get some outside advice.  I love the idea of two best men, so next time it comes up, I'll suggest that... Thanks for your help!  And any more ideas are also welcome

mags0607

I think the two best man option would probably be the best here. I think it would just be the best thing for him to decide.

cukimerrydoll

I like the 2 bestmen option, espeically since they are both his brothers.  It is ultimately up to him, so he can go with whoever he's most comfortable with.

I know my FH chose his cousin who has lived with him... I don't mean to throw you off though!  He doesn't have any brothers, so his cousin is basically like a brother to him.

bablingbrooke

Then I'd suggest the two BM option since he really can't choose between them.  But if he wants to hold off for awhile and think it through before deciding he isn't under the gun.  

suz62984

2 best men is a good idea. My FI had a similar situation. He is really close with a friend and brother 1. Brother 2 is a little older so they aren't close. He didn't want brother 2 to feel left out so he spoke to brother 1 and explained why he chose the friend as best man. The brother totally understood; he didn't want brother 2 feeling left out either.

CTGirl30

Nothing wrong with having 2 Best Men if he can't decide between his brothers and there's also nothing wrong with having all of them simply be Groomsmen.

I don't have a Maid of Honor since I couldn't choose between my 4 dear friends so everyone is a Bridesmaid.

Hope that helps - sounds you realize it's ultimately his decision but are just trying to help him get some additional perspectives on options by asking the wise ladies of the WP board.

krmabojo

You pick the BM. FI picks the GM.