What to do with a wayward bridesmaid?

kwest714

One of my bridesmaids has been MIA for a while. I saw recent pictures of her on FB so I know she's alive, but when I commented about it, I was told (through a 3rd party) that her phone was broken and blah blah blah, which is why I haven't heard from her.

My wedding is in July and I still don't even know if she for sure has her dress. I'm pretty much over it at this point but we've been friends since 7th grade and I don't want to be rude. So I'm wondering if I should just let it play out and see what happens because if she hasn't ordered it by May, it won't be here in time anyway, or if she needs a "sorry but you're fired" phone call...... (not using those words, obviously LOL)

banana468

If she doesn't have the dress then she's removed herself.  It's not for you to do unless she does something drastic.

You have plenty of time - relax.

em01092

Just let it ride. Tell her the date she must have her dress ordered by and then leave it alone, as far as wedding related stuff goes. If she doesn't get the dress, you're off the hook as she has removed herself from the WP. 

Have you been trying to talk with her about NWR things, things in her life, etc? Have you/has she moved away/started a new job/etc? See if she can meet you for coffee or just have a phone/skype date. Try to look at this as a friend issue, not a BM issue. 

littleluckypenny

Never harass people about being in the wedding.  They are all adults, and if she gets the dress in time, great.  If not, she has taken herself out of the BP.  My wedding is in June and my sister has yet to order her dress.  She was told to order the dress by February.  It's on her if she doesn't get the dress; she'll just be a guest.

meganpow87

Like everyone else, give this a little time. Find a way to reach her if it will make you feel better and she does need to know the date by which she is required to have her dress. If she hasn't by then, she is an adult and has made her own decision to remove herself. No worries.

kwest714

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_what-to-do-with-a-wayward-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:b56d68ce-acf4-4186-87c7-6cc08d356aebPost:0d5ab7be-07fe-462d-8e55-43b1f02df746">Re: What to do with a wayward bridesmaid?</a>:
[QUOTE]If she doesn't have the dress then she's removed herself.  It's not for you to do unless she does something drastic. You have plenty of time - relax.
Posted by banana468[/QUOTE]

Well, I don't really have plenty of time. I've already talked to DB and they were clear about the dress being ordered by May. Which is in about....7 days.

kwest714

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_what-to-do-with-a-wayward-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:b56d68ce-acf4-4186-87c7-6cc08d356aebPost:53ebadf9-a5c8-474a-b0c9-8455729e119e">Re: What to do with a wayward bridesmaid?</a>:
[QUOTE]Just let it ride. Tell her the date she must have her dress ordered by and then leave it alone, as far as wedding related stuff goes. If she doesn't get the dress, you're off the hook as she has removed herself from the WP.  Have you been trying to talk with her about NWR things, things in her life, etc? Have you/has she moved away/started a new job/etc? See if she can meet you for coffee or just have a phone/skype date. Try to look at this as a friend issue, not a BM issue. 
Posted by em01092[/QUOTE]

I did try talking to her about regular life things, but still not getting a response <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-cry.gif" border="0" alt="Cry" title="Cry" />

kwest714

Thanks everyone!