Sister-in-law at Bachelorette Party?

rwill72

So, I used to get along with my future SIL, but some events have occurred where I don't trust her, nor do I get along with her. Unfortunately, she is a bridesmaid and should be at my bachelorette party. How do I get out of her being there? She WILL be 21 and the party is in New Orleans four days before my wedding. I just don't want her there, and I don't have a good excuse as to why she won't be invited. HELP!

bablingbrooke

Need more details before I can really say one way or the other.  However, I don't think there's any easy way to get around inviting her w/o you looking bad, especially to your FILs.

How do you know she'd even want to go?  My sister and I don't get along at all.  She didn't come to my OOT bach party, even though she was invited, so crisis averted.  

Keep in mind that this girl you dislike and distrust so much WILL be your family soon so you might as well learn to get along with her.  

aerinpegadrak

Suck it up.  If the feeling is mutual, she'll probably skip it.  It's not worth the family drama that excluding her WILL start.

rwill72

I appreciate the input. And, I realize I am going to have to suck this up. The good thing is that my fiance has had my back all along and even said something to her. She is his younger sister and a bit spoiled. My wedding is in New Orleans, and the party will be Wednesday night before the wedding. She will be in town for the full two weeks leading up to the event.

I was so afraid you were going to confirm my thoughts on the subject. She once accused my fiance of carrying drugs in his wallet in front of my parents. Needless to say there were no drugs in his wallet or in his possession. She likes to fabricate lies and make others around her look bad in order to make herself look good.

bablingbrooke

Yikes.  At least FI is on your side.  Surely she doesn't have any credibility with anyone anymore, so you can all have a good laugh about Jane's latest story.

aerinpegadrak

She sounds like a real winner.  Is there someone else who will be at the party who you can trust to run interference?  So if things start getting out of hand, she can redirect one of you to keep the peace?

rwill72

Oh yeah! I have nine, yes 9, BMs, and my sister and my three childhood bfs are putting a plug in her

I'm sure I'm making a bigger deal out of it than usual, but I know myself, and if I have any sort of alcohol and she says one thing, I will not hold back my opinion of her. This will be a test I have for the rest of my life! Hopefully she grows up

LarissaAnn

Wow, she sounds like fun.  So she accused her OWN brother to make him look bad?  That's pretty obnoxious... then again, it'd be obnoxious no matter who she accused.  But that makes it a bunch more weird.

You'd be surprised how easy it is to ignore someone at a party.  I was a guest at my sister's best friend's bachelorette party.  The brides sisters (MOHs) were obviously there, and there's one neither my sister nor I can stand AT ALL.  She was a hostess of the party and I was able to ignore her and keep it all civil!  It can be done.  Just have fun despite this chick.

mwhitson14

Definitely just ignore her. If you've got a bunch of girls coming, and you get a few drinks in you, I doubt you'll even have to pay her any attention! It will be fine. Besides, she's going to be your FSIL, regardless of her annoyingness, and I think it's better to just let this one go and try to get along with her.

honeybee724

I second/third/whatever everyone saying you have no idea if she'd even come and that it'll cause a lot more drama to no invite her.  My SIL and I don't really get a long and I think I was an "obligation" bridesmaid- but I got invited to her party.  And didn't attend. 

aerinpegadrak

If you go in worrying about what she's going to do, her little slights are going to be a lot more noticeable.  Just let it go, forget that she'll even be there, assure yourself that you won't even notice her.  Focus on all the other great things that will be going on at your party, and basically prep yourself to tune her out.  If you can get your low-key attitude geared up before you go in, you'll be less likely to blow up at her and better able to just have a good time.

banana468

Just make sure that you don't actually speak your mind if you're drinking!

And as Larissa said, while she'll probably be there, it's so easy to ignore someone.  If she does say anything, you can create a new situation so that you don't need to answer her.

Don't give her the satisfaction of a blow up - it sounds like that's what she wants.