Majority rules, right?

glramos2007

Ok. So I went bridesmaid dress shopping this weekend with my BM's and all were present except one so I wanted it to be as productive as possible which means, find and order dresses!  So we find a dress that majority are happy with except one BM who says she could find a dress for less at another bridal store!  I was very surprised and thought that the BM's dress was about the BM's but also what the Bride likes, right? Anyhow, so we all tell her that the dress looks great on her (but in the right size) and she insists on getting the smallest size she can fit in!  I don't understand and then she only wants to pay for 3/4 of the price of the dress!  IDK how to tell her to just shove it up her bum and she should be happy I'm not being a bridezilla!  SHE seems to be a potential bridesmaidzilla!! argh!

jagore08

It sounds like the dress you picked is too pricey for her.  Did you talk to all of your BM privately about their budget for the dress?

If she can find it at another store or online, it's not a big deal.  It will still be the same dress, she'll just save some money.  Also, if she decides to order it in the smallest size possible, let her.  When it comes time to wear it and she can't fit in it she'll have to pay more for alterations to let it out.

bablingbrooke

Where do you care where she gets it as long as it's the right dress?  I won't go so far as to say it's bridezilla behaviour to tell her she has to get it from a specific store, but seriously, what does it matter?

If she gets a dress that's too small, that's her stupid decision and she'll have to live with the consequences of it.

Stop trying to micromanage this.  You're creating drama where there needn't be any. She doesn't sound like a peach but you don't need to be equally difficult in return.

emilyinchile

Brooke is, as usual, right on.

glramos2007

@ Brooke: No, she was talking about finding a completely different dress for a lower price and changing up the style/etc. completely to fit her budget even though the budget was already discussed. 

bablingbrooke

My mistake.

Then say "Sorry, Sue, we're going with the one everyone else picked."  But you can't control what size she orders.

mbcdefg

You have the right to say, "Sorry, I want everyone in the same dress, so majority rules and we're going with this one." I would suggest that you let them wear their own jewelry and shoes (specify a neutral shoe color if you want, like black or gold or silver, so they all have the same color) to let them add their own style to the dress.

If she can find the same dress cheaper elsewhere - pearlsplace.com, netbride.com, rkbridal.com, Craigslist, eBay - let her get it from where she wants to. As long as she's in the correct dress on the wedding day, she's fulfilled her obligation to you.

If she says the dress is too expensive, then you need to listen to her. If you did not ask each girl (in private) about her budget before you picked the dress, then that is your own fault, and you either need to find a cheaper dress or help her out with some money. Even if she did originally give you a budget that this dress will work with, consider whether her financial situation has changed since then. How much less money does she want to pay? Is it a matter of wanting to spend $25 less, or $150 less?

If she picks a small size and looks like a stuffed sausage at the wedding, then that's not your problem. It's a reflection on her, not you.

OR, keep the same designer/style/length/fabric that  you picked, and let each BM pick out her own style from there. That way, they all still coordinate, but they can pick individually flattering dresses. But if you want them all in the same dress, then do Majority Rules.

AutumnFair

jagore, is right. DId you ask privately was her budget was or did you ask everyone as a group? Because asking individually vs group is huge. Plus maybe your BM is having some current budget problems. I would ask her (again if you already did it once) privately what she is comfortable in spending. Then work from there, be it looking for the dress currently chosen online or looking for a new dress. If she is just not liking the dress based off certain "taste" then she just needs to deal it because she only has to wear the dress once. But I would talk to her just to see what the deeper cause of wanting a much cheaper dress.  

tidetravel

Did you discuss budget in private, or as part of a group?  If you did it publicly, then she may have agreed to a price that she wasn't actually comfortable paying.  Also, her budget may have changed since you guys agreed on it.  If she is saying that she can only afford 3/4, perhaps you could pay for the rest.