awful color!

l+charles12

my cousin has asked me to be in her wedding, which is wonderful and i'm very happy for her.  however, the color she's chosen for the bm dresses are baby blue, which looks terrible on me and definitely won't work for the other girls also. 
is it ok for me to suggest something else, or should i grin and bare it?  i understand it's HER big day and we're there to support her and carry out her vision, but i'm not thrilled at the thought of looking pasty and being pitted out!  the wedding's in july in a church that more than likely won't have ac. 

Maggie0829

I am in a wedding this April and the BM dresses are cotton candy pink.  Needless to say it does not look good on me or half of the bridal party.  But when it comes to her colors you really don't have much say.  I do think it is ok to state your opinion when it comes to the style and shape of the dress but as far as color goes, you just need to grin and bare it.

And what in the world does the color have to do with the fact that her wedding is in July in a church that does not have AC?  The color will have no affect on how warm you are going to be.

l+charles12

if she chose a darker color, it wouldn't show sweat! 

l+charles12

i know i'm reaching w/ the sweating thing, loll, i just don't want to wear this color! 
going to mull over this some more.  thanks ladies!

StephJean83

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_awful-color?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:b7ff6f83-1a29-4f5c-9b20-2ce6dccc902cPost:709a3c1f-7e58-49bb-8136-c0d43f0e7224">Re: awful color!</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>if she chose a darker color, it wouldn't show sweat! 
</strong>Posted by l+charles12[/QUOTE]

My sister was married in August in Wisconsin(our super hot season) in a church without A/C. We were in eggplant purple dresses and you could still see the sweat on us.

vanityink

I might be biased since I have my girls in sky blue, and I think they'll all look lovely (I know I love wearing pale blue myself...) but is it that none of the girls like it, or you just don't like it? If all the BMs aren't happy, yeah I'd raise it with the bride. If it's just you don't like it, I'd say you're not a fan, but suck it up if she still wants it.

Maggie0829

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_awful-color?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:b7ff6f83-1a29-4f5c-9b20-2ce6dccc902cPost:5502e1af-6fa4-402f-b9b1-7e32c29676a2">Re: awful color!</a>:
[QUOTE]i know i'm reaching w/ the sweating thing, loll, i just don't want to wear this color!  <strong>going to mull over this some more</strong>.  thanks ladies!
Posted by l+charles12[/QUOTE]

Can I ask you a question?  What if you do say something about the color to your friend?  What if she says that she still wants everyone to wear baby blue?  What will you do?  Will you not be in her wedding because of a color?

I understand that BMs pay for the dresses so they should have some say in them but in the end it is the brides decision on what dress and what color you wear.  That is something that BMs just accept when they accept a role in the wedding.  Trust me when I say that I have worn some hideous dresses in my time but it didn't kill me and my friends (brides) were happy with how everything and everyone looked.  In the end, even if I hated the dress I wore it because it made my friends happy and really that is all that matters.

I would honestly give up the fight in regards to the color and just work with the bride to make sure that the dress you wear flatters you and everyone elses body.  Because even if it is a color that looks great on you the style of the dress matters even more then the color.

QueerFemme

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_awful-color?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:b7ff6f83-1a29-4f5c-9b20-2ce6dccc902cPost:3527bcae-1fe4-4474-8b3b-dc64129c6661">awful color!</a>:
[QUOTE]my cousin has asked me to be in her wedding, which is wonderful and i'm very happy for her.  however, the color she's chosen for the bm dresses are baby blue, which looks terrible on me and definitely won't work for the other girls also.  is it ok for me to suggest something else, or should i grin and bare it?  i understand it's HER big day and we're there to support her and carry out her vision, but i'm not thrilled at the thought of looking pasty and being pitted out!  the wedding's in july in a church that more than likely won't have ac. 
Posted by l+charles12[/QUOTE]

if ALL of the BMS hate it, then maybe say something to her that the BMs don't think it's a very flattering color, and would she reconsider. But, if she says no.  Let it go.

StephJean83

As far as color of the dress, you can talk to her about it but I tend to agree with Maggie that the color is bride's decision. Do you know for a fact(not just speculating) that the other BMs won't like the color dress?

I'm in the camp that bride gets final say in the color since it is her wedding and she only gets one day. I personally think that too many people today feel entitled and that they can control every event they're in or invited to. My sister has sent me links for dresses she wants to wear and had given me a list of colors she will wear. I emailed her back and told her she will wear the color I pick out or she sit next to our mom. I wore the color and dress she picked out for her wedding and she can do the same for mine.

melb2013

I don't think there's anything wrong with saying that you don't think the color is flattering.  If she's set on it, drop the subject.  

I just wore a gold dress with candy apple red embroidery and rhinestones- it was hideous and guests knew that the bride had bad taste.  Oh well.  The bride ordered the dresses without consulting a single bridesmaid (oh this was treat of a wedding) so by the time I actually saw it in person, it was too late to do anything.  The bride flat out asked me if I "loved it" and I said that it was important that she liked it, which she did.  She got the hint that I didn't like it, but there was nothing to be done about it by that time.

Simply Fated

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_awful-color?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:b7ff6f83-1a29-4f5c-9b20-2ce6dccc902cPost:3527bcae-1fe4-4474-8b3b-dc64129c6661">awful color!</a>:
[QUOTE]my cousin has asked me to be in her wedding, which is wonderful and i'm very happy for her.  however, the color she's chosen for the bm dresses are baby blue, which looks terrible on me and definitely won't work for the other girls also.  is it ok for me to suggest something else, or should i grin and bare it?  i understand it's HER big day and we're there to support her and carry out her vision, but i'm not thrilled at the thought of looking pasty and being pitted out!  the wedding's in july in a church that more than likely won't have ac. 
Posted by l+charles12[/QUOTE]
My friend wanted baby blue for her bridesmaids dresses, too! Guess what... once she saw us in the color, she changed her mind and went with a completely different shade of blue, instead. We all looked washed out and 12 years old. We all had different skin tones and hair color, too. SHE looks great in light blue, so it didn't occur to her that so many other girls would look bad in it, I guess.

It can't hurt to mention it to her, especially at the fitting. But don't push it. If her mind is made up, she'll just get annoyed at you for making her second guess her choice.
If she says she still wants light blue and everyone looks washed out in her pictures, it'll be her pictures and something she chose, ya know?

As for the sweating thing, I hear ya. Try Certain Dry or talk to your doctor about your concerns. Dark colors tend to sometimes show sweating, too, but it's not nearly as noticable. It's worth mentioning to her, but then drop it if she doesn't budge right away.

Also... what about suggesting dresses that have two tones? Like a second color sash or something? This way she can still incorporate her baby blue. Or maybe suggest a shade of blue slightly darker than "baby blue." I don't know your cousin at all, but if you know her, you'll probably know the best way to casually mention another option to her.

Just to stress, though, if she's set on baby blue, just drop it. It's not a deal breaker is it?

SJM7538

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_awful-color?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:b7ff6f83-1a29-4f5c-9b20-2ce6dccc902cPost:3527bcae-1fe4-4474-8b3b-dc64129c6661">awful color!</a>:
[QUOTE]my cousin has asked me to be in her wedding, which is wonderful and i'm very happy for her.  however, the color she's chosen for the bm dresses are baby blue, which looks terrible on me and definitely won't work for the other girls also.  is it ok for me to suggest something else, or should i grin and bare it?  i understand it's HER big day and we're there to support her and carry out her vision, but i'm not thrilled at the thought of looking pasty and being pitted out!  the wedding's in july in a church that more than likely won't have ac. 
Posted by l+charles12[/QUOTE]

I don't think its wrong to voice your opinion but personally I would just suck it up. I've worn some pretty awful bridesmaid dresses (inlcuding a sparkly, lime green number with giant hole right in the middle of my boobs that clung to every "problem area" you could imagine, for my cousins wedding.) But I love her and wanted her to be happy so I bought some spanx and sucked it up for a few hours.

kmmssg

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_awful-color?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:b7ff6f83-1a29-4f5c-9b20-2ce6dccc902cPost:02349f02-3b8e-4094-9ece-4bcfd7e4b529">Re: awful color!</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't think there's anything wrong with saying that you don't think the color is flattering.  If she's set on it, drop the subject.   I just wore a gold dress with candy apple red embroidery and rhinestones- it was hideous and guests knew that the bride had bad taste.  Oh well.  The bride ordered the dresses without consulting a single bridesmaid (oh this was treat of a wedding) so by the time I actually saw it in person, it was too late to do anything.  The bride flat out asked me if I "loved it" and I said that it was important that she liked it, which she did.  She got the hint that I didn't like it, but there was nothing to be done about it by that time.
Posted by melb2013[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>My, that dress sounds....um, lovely?  You mentioned it was a treat of a wedding.  Care to share anymore details?  It was a long, yucky day and I would love some entertainment.

</div>

SJM7538

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_awful-color?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:b7ff6f83-1a29-4f5c-9b20-2ce6dccc902cPost:02349f02-3b8e-4094-9ece-4bcfd7e4b529">Re: awful color!</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't think there's anything wrong with saying that you don't think the color is flattering.  If she's set on it, drop the subject.   I just wore a gold dress with candy apple red embroidery and rhinestones- it was hideous and guests knew that the bride had bad taste.  Oh well.  The bride ordered the dresses without consulting a single bridesmaid (oh this was treat of a wedding) so by the time I actually saw it in person, it was too late to do anything.  The bride flat out asked me if I "loved it" and I said that it was important that she liked it, which she did.  She got the hint that I didn't like it, but there was nothing to be done about it by that time.
Posted by melb2013[/QUOTE]

Do you by any chance have pictures of this dress? lol I could use some entertainment as well!

melb2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_awful-color?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:b7ff6f83-1a29-4f5c-9b20-2ce6dccc902cPost:f2792d20-3d7f-46f5-90ae-f759fbaefbfa">Re: awful color!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: awful color! : Do you by any chance have pictures of this dress? lol I could use some entertainment as well!
Posted by SJM7538[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Haha there is one fuzzy pic of me in the dress. I didn't let anyone take a picture of me and we haven't gotten the pro pics back yet.  It was truly horrible.  I thought I looked terrible in the dress, but the other girls actually looked worse and were miserable.  BTW this dress had matching red leggings and we carried red and green flowers that looked very Christmas-y.  We were required to wear gold shoes with it.</div><div>
</div><div>Okay, some other details... The bride is my FSIL.  I tried very hard not to tell her any details of our wedding, but a few things came out- things which she copied exactly.  Like she had the exact same vases with the same acrylic ice and led lights.  I would say it could have been a coincidence, but when I showed her our centerpiece, she commented how unique it was and how she had never seen anything like that.  That's just an example.  </div><div>
</div><div>She called us and informed us that we would throw her a shower and which restaurant it would be at.  She designed her own shower invites.  The other girls had made it clear that they didn't have the time or money for the shower, so my FI and I ponyed up the money and paid for it with her mother.  The bride kept asking about every detail of the shower and basically planned it all herself.  A few weeks before the shower, the groom emailed me saying that I was telling the bride too much about the shower and it was stressing her out and I needed to stop. I flipped my sh*t!  </div><div>
</div><div>On the day of, the MOH had to check on her baby before the time we thought we were starting the ceremony, but the priest started without telling anyone, and the bride flipped out on her MOH just before she walked down the aisle calling her "selfish" and saying she was going to "walk the f*ck down the aisle without her"  That's just a sampling of the loveliness of the wedding.</div><div>
</div><div>

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Jessa617

Is she having a secondary color for her theme? Or is everything going to be baby blue? If she is having other colors incorporated into the theme and you all like one of those colors better, maybe suggest one of the other colors. My colors are black and red and I really wanted my girls to wear red but then I realized that black is more flattering on everyone. Who would ever wear a red dress again anyways?!