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bridesmaid not attending bachlorette party

mintycjmintycj
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in Wedding Party
I have a bridesmaid who told me last minute that she cannot make it to my bachlorette party because her daughter is being baptized that day. The baptism is at 4:30 and were not leaving until 8. I asked her if she could come later or try to change the date and she got really upset. She started going off on how much work and money that she is putting into the bridal shower. She is pregnant so Im thinking she may not want to go for that reason. Ive already told her numerous times if she is not comfortable going because of her pregnancy that is 100% understandable.She assured me that that didnt bother her. I dont know....now she is upset and Im upset. Im not sure if Im wrong or if she is. It just means a lot to me for all my bridemaids to be there. I was planning on doing something special for them that night but now she wont be involved.I would appreciate your advise
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Re: bridesmaid not attending bachlorette party

  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaid-not-attending-bachlorette-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:bbda37f3-aafb-4317-a6db-acf1ba8fdb6bPost:cc1f81d7-394b-45ff-a97f-bbfc418c897c">Re: bridesmaid not attending bachlorette party</a>:
    [QUOTE]Ok, thank you everyone. I will take you advise and apologize to her and let her know that I understand why she cant make it. I dont want to be selfish or rude. I really appreciate your advise. It has helped me a lot!
    Posted by mintycj[/QUOTE]

    minty, congratulations on listening to the advice you were given.  Good for you!  Come back and play again....you're okay with me.  =)
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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  • krmabojokrmabojo
    100 Comments
    Try to change the date of her daughter's Baptism? WHAT?!

    You asking her THAT may have lead her to say that she is not coming to your party at all.

    Baptisms in my family are huge. After the ceremony people will either come over to the house where we supply food or we will go out to eat with the family afterwards.

    Your party is NOT as important as a Baptism
    Report Reply
  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaid-not-attending-bachlorette-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:bbda37f3-aafb-4317-a6db-acf1ba8fdb6bPost:00d18306-d8ad-4849-b814-19143c52b75d">Re: bridesmaid not attending bachlorette party</a>:
    [QUOTE]Try to change the date of her daughter's Baptism? WHAT?! You asking her THAT may have lead her to say that she is not coming to your party at all. Baptisms in my family are huge. After the ceremony people will either come over to the house where we supply food or we will go out to eat with the family afterwards. Your party is NOT as important as a Baptism
    Posted by krmabojo[/QUOTE]

    The reason it's a good idea to read the threads before your post is that OP has already reached that decision and thanked pps for their advice.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
    Report Reply
  • CTGirl30CTGirl30
    1000 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaid-not-attending-bachlorette-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:bbda37f3-aafb-4317-a6db-acf1ba8fdb6bPost:cc1f81d7-394b-45ff-a97f-bbfc418c897c">Re: bridesmaid not attending bachlorette party</a>:
    [QUOTE]Ok, thank you everyone. I will take you advise and apologize to her and let her know that I understand why she cant make it. I dont want to be selfish or rude. I really appreciate your advise. It has helped me a lot!
    Posted by mintycj[/QUOTE]

    <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-smile.gif" border="0" alt="Smile" title="Smile" />  Sounds like a good plan, mintycj. I'm sure your friend will appreciate your understanding.
    The Bump ate my signature. DD - Apr 2011 DS - expected June 2013
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  • mintycjmintycj
    First Comment

    So, I met with my bridesmaid on my lunnch break. We talked and hugged it out. She was very understanding. I feel very grateful! Thank you to those who sent good advise

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  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 25000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers

    Mintycj, so glad things worked out!

    Yay WP Ladies! 

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  • stina93446stina93446 member
    2500 Comments
    I am glad it all worked out. And just remember what pp said, her child will ALWAYS trump your wedding and your friendship. It doesn't mean she's a bad friend though. She's being a good mommy.

    And you won't even notice that she's not at the party....I saw a really fun idea that someone posted on here for a B party. One of the bms couldn't come so they stuck her picture(her face) on a stick and took it with them to the bars and such and posed with it....that way she was in all the photos while not physically being there. It sounds silly, but it'll be great to show her afterwards.
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  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    stina, that's a great idea.  It's just such a hoot, and I'll bet everyone they encounter would love it!
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
    Report Reply
  • bablingbrookebablingbrooke member
    5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaid-not-attending-bachlorette-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:bbda37f3-aafb-4317-a6db-acf1ba8fdb6bPost:a28b175a-1687-4e9c-9590-e2a1b50e424c">Re: bridesmaid not attending bachlorette party</a>:
    [QUOTE]So, I met with my bridesmaid on my lunnch break. We talked and hugged it out. She was very understanding. I feel very grateful! Thank you to those who sent good advise
    Posted by mintycj[/QUOTE]

    <div>Yay!</div>
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