MOH OMG

aintmeamanatee

My MOH didn't show to my bridal shower!!! My mom was the one who put the shower together and did everything at her house. The invite went to all guests incl. MOH weeks ago. She RSVP'd yes, but the shower started and ended and i didnt hear a peep from her, no call no text. She showed up for 15 min after every guest was gone, every gift was loaded in the car, and the food was being cleaned up. She bolted out after arriving 3 hours late because she had to be to a wedding in an hour.

I am so upset bc my FI didnt really want her in the wedding party period. I stood up for her and look where it left me. She is extremely unapologetic. She gave a variety of reasons, husband wanted to stop for food (BK took 5 min), husband didnt have baby ready, husband took too long to get ready...pretty much nothing was her fault in her eyes. And, no, her husband was not invited to the shower. 

What do I do? My FI and mom say boot her (just advise, they know it is my decision).  I dont know if I can count on her. I'm just so hurt that she wasn't there for me.

anne.azano

But, she should have called.  That what would bother me.  If she can't make it, fine.  I agree with most of what you all are saying, baby, husband, another wedding, all important, but it is very inconsiderate not to call and let you know.  I think each and every one of you who is saying it's not a big deal would have been genuinely upset if this had happened to you.  OP, I think you have every right to be upset, but it's not worth kicking her out, which as other PPs have said, would be a friendship ending move. 

LoveBugBaby

Is it really crappy she didn't come to your shower? Yes.  Is it the end of the world? No.

I would agree though that this would be upsetting since 1. She didn't even bother to call - she could have shown that consideration and 2.  She's your MOH, which means she's probably once of your closest friend/relatives - she wasn't being a very good friend by not being there to celebrate with you. 

I agree that bridesmaids aren't "required" to attend showers, but I feel like the MOH should want to be there to support you.  I don't get how everyone says all bridesmaids are supposed to do is wear a dress on your big day.  You don't pick you closest family/friends to be bridesmaids for that reason.  I've been a bridesmaid 5 times now and never once have I thought "oh, all I need to do is buy a dress."  I've ALWAYS done as much as I could for the bride and been there at parties, etc. to share in the excitement!  My wedding party consists of my best friends and I've never once demanded they do anything for me, but they've all been super great with trying to make this time in my life special! That's what best friends are for, right?  I'd only do the same for them!

CTGirl30

I'm trying to see it from MOH's pov, though. Perhaps as she was trying to get baby & husband out of the house and time starting slipping away she wanted to call but also didn't want to interrupt the festivities and felt embarrassed about that. Maybe she was hoping OP would be an understanding friend when she came by after the shower to explain herself and what had happened that led to her not being able to attend. I'm not sure I'd want to call in the middle of the party but that's me...I think the fact that MOH did show up when she could, in person, to explain also tells you something.