NWR - Semi rant about BFF/bride

SocialWorker2B

So, I am physically disabled and going through a major flare up of my fibromyalgia right now. I hate talking on the phone normally - it hurts my arm, hand, ear and the mental energy it requires is just too much. I go to school F/T and right now - that's my life. It takes up all of my mental 'time' I have.

I thought my friend - I am the MOH, posted about the shower costs in an earlier post - understood this. She called me once a day all this past week. I sent her a email at one point with a link to a veil so it's not like I went AWOL.

But she left me a passive aggressive message the other day saying "Oh, I guess you don't love me." I know she was joking but when I am just trying to survive (and deal with MH who is telling me to get up and out of the house), it kind of hurts.

How do I make it clear to her that I love her (and am interested in her wedding because I don't want her to think I am avoiding her phone calls because I am jealous or something) but literally can't handle it - the phone every day or even once a week? Looking at it in print, I guess it would be hard to understand.

Any advice is welcome, thanks so much ladies!

bablingbrooke

She may be insensitive, but you're being overly-sensitive.  Don't let a stupid comment like that upset you.

banana468

I think you need to be honest, "Hey, just an FYI for right now - talking on the phone is hurting me - really."

You're being a great MOH but she needs to remember to be a great friend.

AutumnFair

I agree with banana, tell your friend the truth. Just state to your friend what you told us, that your fibromyalgia is flaring up and its just draining a lot of energy. I really hope that your friend is more concern about your health than her wedding. I hope you feel better soon.

gottahavashorti

Be honest with her that you're not feeling well right now, and so comments like those hurt even if they're in jest.

Do you have speakerphone that your husband could set up for you if necessary so you can speak every once in awhile?  Or a microphone to do voice chat on skype?  That might help unless that would be uncomfortable for you as well.

MyNameIsNot

If I remember correctly from the previous post, she was sort of expecting a more expensive shower that you can't afford, right?

If that's the one, she sounds like she's being selfish right now anyway.  I'm thinking it's time to have a heart to heart with her about the limitations of your disease and what all you have going on right now.  She needs to understand that you have your own priorities.

mbcdefg

Maybe it's best to set up some kind of schedule where you have little/nothing else to do that day ... "I don't have anything going on next Wednesday night. I'm usually good for about 2 hours before I run out of energy or start hurting. Let me know if there's something I can help you with in that timeframe."

SocialWorker2B

Thanks everyone!

Yes, myname, that's her. Sometimes she can suck. But, then again I guess we all can sometimes. :-)

Brooke - I think you're right. But, I think I still need to tell her what the other girls have suggested.

I have told her similar things in the past but I think the problem was that I wasn't assertive enough. I will attempt to do that now.

Thanks again for letting me vent and for the advice! :-)