Do bridemaids pay for the bridal shower?

jasminejohnson83

I wasn't aware that bridemaids are suppose to pay for a bridal shower. I always thought they chip in on the bachelorette party. As a bridemaid I was recently asked to contribute $120 to a bridal shower that I had no say in planning. The Maid of honor is in charge of getting it together. I also thought that meant she was paying for it. I've already paid $190 for my dress and shoes. Is it just me or is this outrageous?

emilyinchile

The host(s) pay for any party. Often, BMs host both the bridal shower and bachelorette party, which means they plan the events together and pay for them together. But just being presented a bill by someone is wrong.

Awkward though it may be, I think you need to talk to the MOH and explain that while you're happy to help out in general, because you weren't asked for your input you thought that she was the only hostess of this party, and you don't have $120 lying around. If you're able to and would like to, maybe you can offer to help in another way - helping with set up or clean up, going to the store, whatever.

trix1223

Yes, BM's often split the cost of a shower.  BUT, being presented with a bill for a shower that you were given no input on is just wrong.  The MOH should have asked you all what you were comfortable with as a budget.  Since she didn't, I suggest that you let her know that the cost is outside of your budget, and that you wish you'd been consulted before plans were made.

Tell her what you can afford, and give her that amount.

SarahPLiz

Ditto PPs. THat was rude of the MOH to assume what your budget was, and that you were contributing.

MyNameIsNot

Yes, this is outrageous.  Anyone who wants to can host a shower or a b-party.  No one is required to.  You need to tell this MOH that you did not have anything to do with hosting it and that you are not paying for it and don't have any idea why she would think you were going to.  Then let her know that you are interested in participating in the b-party and that you'd like to take the lead.  If you do, send an email out to all the members of the WP and let them know you're throwing it and ask if anyone else would like to be involved.

AutumnFair

The MOH (or any person who host) definitely should have asked you before planning what you were comfortable in contributing (if anything) be it money, buying supplies, or bringing a dish. Big faux pas by the MOH here, you need to talk to her right away and explain yourself like you did here. I have hosted two showers and made sure to contact BMs to see if they wanted to help out or not, and what they would like to do. Some brought dishes, some gave cash, some decline to do anything, all in which were fine. MOH was wrong, you definitely don't have to shell out any money to her. 

bablingbrooke

Not cool for MOH to say "Here's what's planned for the shower!  You owe me $120."  I've been in your shoes and not liked it. I've always gone along and paid because I didn't want to punish the bride for the MOH's rudeness, but it still blows.  You have my sympathies.