Planning shower for first time

kw101579

Hi, I have a question and I'm hoping you can help. I've never been a maid of honor before therefore I don't know the guidelines/ettiquete when it comes to planning the bridal shower.

My best friend's bridesmaids have contacting me regarding the planning of the shower and they want to help. We've decided on a park location. We're going to be bbq'ing kabobs and homemaking appetizers and cupcakes. We'll be bringing lemonade and spritzers. Maybe some wildflowers from the farmers market as centerpieces. Picnic tables (at the park). So far, so good. These are just ideas tossed around, most suggested by the other girls. The bride has mentioned that IF she were to have a bridal shower, she'd love it to be low key at a park instead of a big deal.  (we'll have a back up plan if it rains of course)

How is this paid for? Am I expected to pay for all of this (the food, any decorations, etc?). What if any of the other bridesmaids want to chip in? Do I wait for them to offer, or is it okay if  ask ahead? I would say something that gets the general point across, like" by no means is it required, but if you would like to chip in please let me know in a private message so I can get a budget together for decorations, groceries for the food, etc"

Would that be acceptable? Thanks for the help.

jagore08

I think that sounds fine.  If all or some of the BM want to co-host the shower with you that's great.  If they don't and they just want to show up, that's fine too.  You should also figure out a guest list with the other ladies that want to chip in.

willywally5

It is nice if you ask the bride for a guest list to be sure 1) you don't miss anyone she'd definitely like there and 2) that you don't invite anyone who isn't invited to the wedding. 

I think what you've proposed to say to the other bridesmaids is just fine. Only other suggestion is you might want to put vinyl or disposable plastic tablecloths on the picnic tables because they can be pretty grungy sometimes!

Sounds like you are well on your way to a very nice party!

kw101579

Thank you for the help, much appreciated!

aerinpegadrak

I would send individual emails to each of the BMs (rather than a group one).  Sum up what you're thinking and ask if they'd be willing to contribute money or time.  I'd say the individual emails because people might not be keen on discussing their finances in a reply-all sort of environment, especially if they're not in a position to pitch in.

What you have planned sounds great!

PhoneCardLady

When I was a bridesmaid, we just divided the costs equally among the four of us.  One of the BM's wasn't able to attend but still put in her share.

pkontk

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_planning-shower-for-first-time?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:c6b6649a-9115-4243-ac83-11754ef7c9f8Post:3aeeef49-bfde-4d92-a812-2279fecf5ea9">Re: Planning shower for first time</a>:
[QUOTE]I would send individual emails to each of the BMs (rather than a group one).  Sum up what you're thinking and ask if they'd be willing to contribute money or time.  I'd say the individual emails because people might not be keen on discussing their finances in a reply-all sort of environment, especially if they're not in a position to pitch in. What you have planned sounds great!
Posted by aerinpegadrak[/QUOTE]

Precisely this.  I just helped with a shower that I knew from the beginning I could only contribut $X to, but the cost ended up being higher per person.  I reminded the MOH that I had told her from the beginning that I could only do $X and she was fine with it.

lb1212

Sounds great!!  You also might want to get a rough estimate of expenses so the other BMs will have an idea of a price range. 

RebeccaB88

Yes, I would ask each girl individually what she is able to contribute (I'd assume they all would since they contacted you about it).  Put those amounts together, add what you can afford, and plan based on that budget. 

Some girls may not be comfortable handing over cash, and would rather buy supplies or provide food.  Others will just want to know their share and will bring you a check or cash.  For instance, if you all are going to be providing the food, you can come up with a menu together and divide up who is going to make what.  If one girl doesn't cook, she can pick up the cupcakes or provide centerpieces and flowers for the bride.  There are lots of ways to do it, you just have to communicate with each other.