Groomsman or Officiant??

sugarsugar0214

We are having trouble finding an officiant for our wedding. (Long story, won't go into it.) We know that there's always the option of hiring someone, but we would like someone that we know. So my question to you all is this:

My fiance has a friend who is a pastor. However, he has already asked him to be a groomsman. Is it a bigger honor to be a groomsman or the officiant? We would love for him to do our ceremony, but don't want to downgrade his role!!

mbcdefg

I don't get why it would be a downgrade. Talk to him and see how he'd feel.

And if he does become the officiant, don't replace him. Just go on with who you have in the wedding party. THAT would be an insult, to both him and to the replacement person.

emilykathleen511

I think this is a case where your FI should approach his friend and have a conversation about which he would rather do...I'm not for sure how that conversation should go...

emilyinchile

I don't think it's an upgrade or a downgrade. They're two different roles, and I think they're equally honorable. Have your FI talk to him, and if he agrees you can always list him in the program as both the officiant and a GM (and maybe get him a bout to match the other GMs if he's able to wear that while working).

skippylouwho

I'm thinking if I were the friend, being asked to be the officiant would be a bigger honor than being one of several groomsmen.  Being asked to marry a couple would really be an honor.

sarah0725

FI has two brothers, and in order to keep the peace, we asked one of them to be the best man and the other to be the officiant. Both feel very honored.

gottahavashorti

Probably an upgrade but IMO it really depends on what he thinks.  He may prefer not to 'work' at your wedding, write a sermon if one is needed, and be a GM.  Or he may feel honored and excited to officiate the wedding.

Ask his preference - he'll probably be honored that you asked, but give him an out just in case he'd prefer to be a GM.  If he does officiate, he can still be a GM as well as emilyinchile said.

suz62984

If your worried about his feelings try putting him in the program as "Officiant and good friend" .....name......

pooh8402

why not both? FI's brother is an ordained minister, and the best man. he is fulfilling both roles, and will be listed as both. the only difference is that someone else will sign the marriage license. FBIL has told us he considers it an honor to be the officiant, and there is no reason he can't be included as a groomsman either, in all the parties and whatnot.