Ring Bearer

hisalwaysandforever

I am trying to decide on a ring bearer. All of the kids in the family are girls. One of my friends has a boy, so I may decide to ask for him to be the ring bearer. Are all of you having a ring bearer?

Are you having your ring bearer walk down the aisle with the actual wedding bands? I notice that a lot of weddings have him carry fake rings on the pillow, while the BM and MOH hold the rings. I am just thinking that if there is a ring bearer, he should have the rings, right? He would be supervised & only be given his ring bearer pillow right before walking down the aisle. What is your opinion on this?

bablingbrooke

We had 2 RBs (twin cousins of mine) who did carry the actual rings since they were almost 11.  They were tied on there pretty tight and the boys were obviously old enough to understand to not throw the rings around.  They asked for the job and really enjoyed it.  They even took the pillows home with them

Remember that you don't have to have a RB so if you aren't close with a kid, don't ask them.  I'm very close with those cousins, and they love DH and follow him around like puppies whenever we see them, so they were the obvious choice.  A RB can also be a little girl.  But if no small child comes to mind as someone you want in the wedding, don't have one.  A RB isn't a "must-have" role and if you don't have one, the BM can just hold on to the rings.

lilianne22

We aren't having one, it isn't required.  Unless you are close with your friends kid, I wouldn't ask him.  Just have someone in your WP hold the rings.

quotequeen

Our ring bearer is FI's nephew, and he won't be holding the real rings because he's 3.  There aren't any young boys that I'm close to, so if FI didn't have any nephews we would just not have had a ring bearer.  You should ask kids because they are important to you and you want them in the wedding, not just to fill a role.

trix1223

Don't ask a fairly random kid to be in your wedding just so you can have a RB.  You don't need one to get married.  You'll still be just as married without an RB as you will with one.

And I think it's pretty rare for a kid to hold the real rings.  I wouldn't want something so important to be under the supervision of a child.

The rings are generally safely in the hand of a responsible adult:  BM, MOH, and/or officiant.

candiceandbrant

My RB is my nephew. He will be 3 so he wont be holding the actual rings. If he wasn't around, I wouldn't have one, I really dont think it's necessary to have one.

blackfire5th

We didn't have a ring bearer.  DH and I both have some boy cousins about that age that could have done the job, but we aren't close to them and we would have asked them to be a ring bearer just for the sake of having one, and we didn't feel that was a good enough reason.  Having a ring bearer also means buying a pillow, coordinating with the parents on what he will wear, buying another bout., another gift, and 4 more dinners at the rehearsal dinner (for his family).  It would have easily cost us about $100 more just to have a position "filled."

mbcdefg

We had no children in the wedding party, because (a) we aren't especially close to any of the small kids in our families, (b) if we DID include kids, we would've run into a "choose one/two and hurt everyone else's feelings" situation, (c) we didn't want to arbitrarily pick a random kid just for the sake of filling a meaningless and unnecessary role, and (d) we didn't want to deal with the hassle of dressing a small kid, looking after him/her during photos or prep time, and dealing with tantrums or crying fits.

If either of us had nieces or nephews, it would've been a different story. But since there wasn't anyone we defintiely wanted to include, we didn't pick a kid just for the hell of it. And you don't have to, either. It should be a case of, "We definitely want to include Little Johnny in our wedding," not, "We need a ring bearer, so who can we round up to be one?"

Plus, girls can be ring bearers, if there's a small girl that you're especially close to and want to include.

aerinpegadrak

The last wedding I went to had the bride's daughter as the flower girl and her sister as the ring bearer.  We didn't have any child attendants, partly because we don't know anyone in that age range, and partly because I've never really seen the point.  The best man had the rings.

It's supposed to be a way to recognize a kid who's close to the couple, not a kid a few degrees removed.  I'd really advise against asking some random kid just to fill an unnecessary ceremonial role.