i need a little advice

rachel713

Hello All!

What would be the best way to approach a matron of honor who told me a month ago that she had ordered her dress when in fact she has not? My only dress criteria was the color. She had complete freedom of choice over everything else and has known for several months now that all she needed to do was find a dress. I know she has trouble budgeting herself so I made sure to give her plenty of time. I even made it a point to tell her that I don't expect her to host a shower since a family member of mine had already offered and I don't want an over the top bachelorette party. I can't afford to buy a dress for her, so how do I approach this situation? I don't want to kick her out of the wedding. She's still my friend, I just don't know how to handle this type of thing.

Thanks for any advice you can give. I need someone to see this from outside the situation.

psichick

you still have two months until the wedding, don't stress. if all you asked was for the color then she can even get something the week of and be fine. if she shows up the day of with no dress, then she's taken herself out of the wedding. there's nothing that you can do about it unfortunetly if you aren't going to pay for it so just let it go.

SarahPLiz

psi hit this nail on the head. Don't worry about it. She might be getting a dress that doesn't need to be ordered. Just let it be and take a deep breath.

megk8oz

If you're only requirement is the color and your wedding's in April, then she has more than enough time to get a dress. She can literally buy the dress the day before if she wants (Not a great idea waiting until the very last minute, I'll admit, but just the same if she only has one criteria to meet, it's do-able).

Just relax, do not confront her about it yet, because there really is more than enough time. Unless you're paying for the dress out of your own pocket, you really can't force her to go shopping for it. She might not have the money right now, she might be looking and just hasn't found "the right one", she might be fluxuating with weight right now and just trying to wait until she's closer to avoid having to get alterations.

Take a deep breath. Try not to worry about this, as there's an excellent chance it will turn out just fine.

banana468

Ditto the others.  Plenty of people on here have shared their BP horror stories with things working out fine.

aerinpegadrak

I walked into David's Bridal about two months before my sister's wedding and walked out the same day with a dress.  Don't stress about it, there are a million options for getting a dress last minute, especially if they only have to get a color.  (And if the MOH is in a slightly different color, it will still look fine, since it's becoming common to have the MOH stand out in some way.)

Are you sure you can't chip in to help pay if money's the problem?  Could you maybe tighten your belt a bit to accommodate that?  If, say, you have a daily Starbucks habit, and you gave it up for two weeks, you'd have at least $50 to toss her way to help out.  We're dipping into our honeymoon fund to help pay for some of our WP's expenses.  It's a sacrifice, but isn't it worth it to have such important people with you when you get married?

trix1223

As PPs have said, relax.  You're thinking she has ONLY 2 months to get a dress.  She's thinking "I have TWO whole months.  What's the big deal?"

If she doesn't get the dress, she doesn't walk down the aisle.  But you're carrying unnecessary stress about this.  The ball is in her court, not yours.

momofayden

Personally I would just ask her about her dress.  I wouldn't want to wait until the day of my wedding to see if my friend decided to get a dress or not.  You have enough to worry about.

"hey X, so tell me about your dress. I am interested to see what you picked.  B got this kind and C got this one.  I can't wait to see the final picture come together. I think it's going to look really nice with everyone in a dress that they got to choose."