Estranged Brother

bbyckes

I don't know very many people on this board, but I just wanted to share.

I have a brother who I have been estranged with for probably about 5 years or so.  Meaning I haven't talked to him, seen him or couldn't have even told you where he lived.  Well, I recently reached out to him and it felt so good to be in contact with him.  I told him I missed him (I do) and that I wish we were closer.  It doesn't make any sense why we waited so long to reconnect.

He's coming to my wedding and I've asked him to be an usher and he accepted.  My wedding is kinda turining into a family reunion and I really couldn't be happier.

Reaching out to a family member turned out well in my instance.  I just wish I hadn't waited so long. 

MyNameIsNot

That's so cool. 

I was seriously reminded during my wedding of how lucky and blessed I am to have my sister for a best friend.  Siblings really do stay in our lives forever, if only sporadically. 

bablingbrooke

What a wonderful thing to post!  It took my father almost 20 years to get over a grudge against his siblings, which means I never met his side of the family until a couple years ago.  I'm so glad you did this now.  Best of luck!

trix1223

bb:  good for you for making the effort.  I hope that the two of you can rekindle your relationship!  Friendships ebb and flow, but my sister.....well, she's my sister forever.

bbyckes

Thanks guys, it really does mean a lot to know that others can relate.

emilyinchile

That's great. Thanks for sharing

SarahPLiz

That's awesome! I'm so gald you shared with us, because I know there is someone lurking who may be contemplating this as well.

banana468

Yay bbyckes!! 

That is wonderful.

I know people talk all the time about how weddings can bring out the worst in others but it's just a wonderful thing to hear that there was a positive experience as a result of reaching out to someone prior to the big day.

:-D

banana468

BTW, it wasn't my relationship with my brother but other relationships seemed to be on their way to being repaired after my wedding.  It was SUCH a touching thing to see people who hadn't talked to each other in years start to get along. 

THAT was one of the best parts of my wedding - aside from marrying DH of course.  :-)

bbyckes

It really does feel good.   

Banana, that's how I feel too.  I'm so happy to be marrying FI, but really looking forward to being surrounded by family and friends. 

banana468

Trust me, it's a great feeling.  :-)

stina93446

My wedding was also a family reunion. All my mom's chinese family members were there and 11 Norweigians from DH's side came as well....FROM NORWAY! Everyone had a blast, and I was scared at first because my mom's family is super loud, but they actually kept the dance floor busy all night.

kellymaryanne

Thank you for posting your story. I actually have a similar situation with my oldest brother. My family used to be so close. But there have been some major grudges caused by my oldest brother. He really has taken my parents and two other brothers for granted in the past. I have stayed out of all the drama. That didn't keep my brother from isolating me. I'm not sure what I ever did or did not do to him. We haven't had a conversation in about 8 years. We've seen each other at a few holiday functions. He says hi and then avoids me. My brother just got married in August. He invited the oldest brother, but he didn't show up or give a response at all. I know I should invite him to my wedding, but I hope he leaves the drama behind.

mags0607

BB- I totally relate to this as well. I have a brother whom I have had a rocky relationship with for years. We were very close when I was a child, but family situations have arisen that have driven a huge wedge between us. We barely speak (mostly because I am stubborn and hold grudges.) I made the decision when I got engaged that I wasn't going to prolong it, and I also asked him to be an usher in the wedding. It was such a huge weight lifted off my shoulder. We will never be close, this I know, but at least I won't look back in years and wish that I hadn't estranged him any further on such a big day. FWIW, my other brother will be walking me down the aisle ( not that it relates to anything.)

britne28

That's wonderful!  I am so happy for you.